Encounters
by Shayz
Summary: Ronon Dex meets a member of the Atlantis expedition and he can't stand her...it must be love. COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

CATEGORY: General, Het  
TITLE: **ENCOUNTERS **

STARRING: Ronon Dex, John Sheppard, Teyla Emmagan, Elizabeth Weir, Rodney McKay, Carson Beckett

INTRODUCING OC: Maggie Jackson "Jax"

SUMMARY: Ronon Dex meets a member of the Atlantis expedition and he can't stand her...it must be love.

WARNING: PG for language

Disclaimer: Don't own it; just borrowing the universe for a short while...and some fun. Have no money; please don't sue.

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ENCOUNTERS

1

"Stop being a pain, get your ass back over here, sit down, shut up and take off your shirt!"

Ronon Dex slowly turns his head, glancing back over his shoulder, sending the small, annoying female his best death glare. Her impudent right eyebrow raises and her dark brown eyes match his, glare for glare. She doesn't blink. She barely breathes. She simply refuses to back down.

She's tiny compared to him, at least a foot shorter. Not delicately built, but not large either. He could easily break her into small pieces, twist her neck in a split second, crush her with one blow…but she refuses to back down. What is with the women of Atlantis anyway?

He's been here two weeks now. He's never met this woman before, but she speaks to him in a familiar tone that raises the roots of his hair. He feels guilty for not complying immediately which makes his blood boil. Where does she get off making him feel guilty?

She places her hands on her hips, raises that arched brow even higher if that's possible and purses her lips, sliding her lower jaw to the side in a show of annoyance. She refuses to back down!

Ronon grunts, tears off his shirt as he stomps back to the gurney and sits with his back to the nagging woman. Her fingers are like feathers over his injured skin, tickling almost and he can hear the snips from the scissors.

"Done," she says firmly. "Now get out."

Ronon shakes his head, grabs his shirt and stomps back to the door where his guard is waiting. He tosses a quick last glance at the woman, but her back is to him as she cleans up the bright blue stitches and strips off the white gloves. With a growl, he heads out the sliding doors, followed by his ever present shadow.

"Who is that woman?" he asks his shadow.

"Jax," is all the man says, but Ronon can clearly hear a slight amused tremor in the soldier's voice.

"I would enjoy shooting her."

"Get in line."

Ronon darts his eyes to the other man, but the soldier remains steadfast in his expression. So this, Jax, is not a well-liked female among the Atlanteans. Ronon nods in understanding.


	2. Chapter 2

2

He can hear the loud sounds coming from behind the closed gym door. There is a distinctive repetition…a beat. This must be what music is where the Atlanteans come from. Earth music. Ronon listens carefully, he cannot understand the words. They stream together faster and tighter than Dr. McKay's. But he can feel his muscles tense and relax; his blood pumps faster to match the rhythm. Ronon decides he likes Earth music.

Sheppard pauses at the door, his hand hovering over the controls, but doesn't open the door. He checks the time piece on his wrist then turns to Ronon and the other men following. "Guess we're early." There's a rush of exhaled breaths and the soldiers grumble. Sheppard gets a strange look on his face; something Ronon would consider wicked. "Anyone wanna watch?"

Ronon looks around, seeing a few of the men pump up their chests with air. Without another word, Sheppard waves his palm over the controls and the door slides open. The men shuffle toward the opening, though no one tries to go inside. Ronon stands at the back, easily seeing over the others' heads.

He can smell sweat from hard work emanating from within. He quickly counts ten women in staggered formation facing the other end of the long, wide room, seeing themselves in full length mirrors that seem out of place with the Atlantis structure. The women are at least twenty feet from the door, far enough away that Ronon can't see the men's reflections in the mirrors and assumes the women can't either.

The women are dressed in similar fashion: shorts, white T-shirts damp with sweat and white socks on their feet. Those with long hair have pulled it back into what Teyla has called a 'ponytail' though he has no idea where the term originates. Ronon can't make out individual faces; however some have the short hair he recognizes as military regulation. An eleventh woman stands before them near the mirrors, dark hair piled onto her head, demonstrating some interesting moves, though Ronon can't determine what kind of fighting those moves would be used for.

She turns to face the mirror. "Okay ladies, put it together. Five, six, seven, eight." As a unit the women start to move using the exact same motions in time with the music that suddenly swells within the room as the leader raises her hand in the air. The lead female continues to speak as she moves her body, gliding expertly over the floor. Ronon's transfixed on the women. He's never seen such a thing. It's jarring to watch so many females move in such wanton fashion to a musical beat.

The lead female has much control over her body. She reminds him of Teyla, only there is a slight difference, a subtle fluidity and grace that, though Teyla is graceful and expert in her movements, she does not float as this woman seems to.

"And…shake shh..shh..shake it…" the lead yells as her hips start to move almost independently from the rest of her, quickly, effortlessly thrusting forward and back, side to side in time with the music. It's a stirring sight indeed. "Shake shh..shh..shake it. And pop to the left." The other women follow and Ronon hears a collective in-take of breath from the men before him as all the women suddenly jerk their buttocks to the left. "And pop," now to the right. He feels a tightening in his gut and leans in further, pushing against the other men to get a better look.

Sheppard's standing in the door frame keeping the others outside, his arms crossed and a big smile on his face.

"And…step…now…shimmy," the leader calls and as one the women do something odd to the top half of their bodies, shaking their shoulders in quick succession. After this last move the women slide to the right and a loud single collective clap overhead ends the session. The leader turns slowly on the tips of her toes, waving her hand through the air. The music stops. "Enjoy the show, gentlemen?" She says, raising her right brow.

Ronon groans inwardly when he finally sees the leader's face. It's been a couple of days but he's still unnerved by this female.

The women gasp, realizing they have an audience, but as Sheppard and the others clap and whistle as they enter the gym, the women smile and bow, some giggling. Two of the women seem to be acquainted with two of the soldiers and come over to them. "Did you really like it?" Both soldiers only have eyes for the individual females and Ronon understand they are…dating, as Sheppard has told him.

Ronon takes up Sheppard's place at the door, arms crossed and his death glare ready for the evil that is Jax. But she doesn't look his way. She grabs up a towel, draping it over her shoulders and picks up her water bottle. "That's a wrap, ladies." She squirts water into her mouth. The women clap and howl, exuberantly thanking their leader for working them hard. Some of the women even rush over to hug her.

"Nicely done, ladies," Sheppard says with a huge grin on his face. "You should consider a show for the entire base." He crosses his arms again, putting on a serious expression. "You know…to raise morale."

One of the short haired females chuckles deeply. "Is that the only thing you're interested in raising, Colonel?" The other women laugh, but not Jax. Sheppard tries to hide his grin as he shakes his head and looks at the floor.

"Stepped right into the one, sir." One of the soldiers says. Sheppard looks up, smirking and nods.

"That could be fun though, eh Jax?" Another woman asks.

Everyone looks to the leader with expectation. Sheppard raises his brows. "So?"

Ronon catches sight of Jax. She's suddenly flush with embarrassment and she doesn't look at the Colonel for more than a split second at a time. "Maybe," she says softly, almost imperceptible, her eyes on the floor. She turns her back on the rest of the room and rushes for the second exit near the mirrored wall. "See you next week, ladies?" There's universal agreement as Jax waves goodbye without looking back and steps through the doors.

As two of the women grab their towels and head out the door held open by Ronon, he hears them whispering. "She's so shy around them."

"Kinda odd considering her previous career choice."

Another woman rushes to catch up. She too keeps her voice low, but Ronon has great hearing. "I still can't believe she was a stripper."

"She's got the curves for it," the first one adds.

As the rest of the women file out, the soldiers set up the room for Ronon's test by pulling out a large blue mat. He goes over to Sheppard who's leaning against a half-bodied fake man. "What is a stripper?"

Sheppard shrugs. "It's a job, like any other on Earth." He narrows his eyes at Ronon. "Why?"

Ronon shakes his head. "No reason." Obviously he's going to have to get a better answer elsewhere. Perhaps his shadow will inform him later.

"Hmm," Sheppard says then claps his hands together. "Let's get started."


	3. Chapter 3

3

Ronon's eating as Sheppard joins him at the table. "That went well," he says, smiling like a kid.

"What?" Ronon shovels food into his mouth, still getting used to using the fork that Sheppard showed him earlier.

"Dr. Weir says I can keep you."

"Keep me?"

Sheppard's smirk falters. "That you can join my team. If you want."

"Sounds good. For now."

Sheppard smirks again, pats his hands on the table. "Looks like you're gonna be here a while. Mind if I get some food and join you?"

"Fine."

Sheppard nods as he gets up and goes to the other end of the mess to grab his dinner. Ronon looks up, seeing the Colonel go to the end of the line…so unlike what he's used to seeing in military leaders. This guy doesn't use his position to overpower even the lowliest of people. Ronon smirks at that thought, seeing as the person directly in front of Sheppard is none other than Jax.

He doesn't know why this woman disturbs him so much. The fact that she stood up to him in defiance would normally make him consider her worthy of attention, as he does with Teyla. But he does not feel this way about Jax. He disliked her immediately like a stone in his boot and would have pushed her aside in an instant if he'd met her on some other world.

But at the same time, he obeyed her command. She instilled in him a need to cooperate, however grudgingly. He did not do it to please her in any way. It was as if he had no will of his own to rebel. He remembers that feeling from long ago.

She turns and smiles at the Colonel as if he just said something amusing, but she turns away quickly occupying herself with getting food. Colonel Sheppard continues with his side of the conversation from what Ronon can see, but all he gets in return is a few head bobs and sideways glances.

Then something strange happens. Jax turns to the Colonel, all smiles, says something that makes Sheppard laugh out loud. The Colonel places a hand on her shoulder and she visibly flinches. Ronon feels his guts tighten and for some reason is ready to jump out of his chair and pull the Colonel away from her, but his hand is already gone from her arm.

The two finish loading up their plates and head away from the line. Col. Sheppard walks a little behind Jax, his face creased with worry lines as he tries to keep the conversation going. Ronon doubts that Sheppard missed the flinch any more than he did considering how quickly he pulled away from the woman.

Jax glances over her shoulder at the Colonel and smiles, saying something Ronon doesn't hear over the clanking of dishes and din of voices in the mess. But Sheppard grins in return and nods, though his eyes still look worried. Jax swiftly walks away, carrying her tray, passing Ronon without acknowledging him in the least.

Sheppard sets his tray on the table with a final look at the departing Jax then sits and starts to dig in.

"What was that?" Ronon asks, trying to sound as if he doesn't care. Which he doesn't really. The sudden surge of protectiveness was fleeting at best. He's not even sure if it actually happened, in fact.

"You mean Maggie?"

"Thought her name is Jax."

"Yeah. Maggie Jackson…no relation."

"To who?"

"Dr. Jacks…never mind." Sheppard shrugs. "I suggest you don't call her Maggie," he said sincerely.

"You did."

"Not to her face." Sheppard sips his drink. "She's over-stressed, I guess."

Ronon catches Sheppard's gaze. "What does she have to get stressed about? Not like she goes off world…"

Sheppard leans in. "Everyone here is stressed, Ronon. And everyone here works their ass off. Don't go assuming that the people who aren't on teams or in the military don't have enough work of their own to keep this place running."

"I get it. But…" he chews. "What the hell does she do around here?"

"Besides bunch your shorts, you mean?"

Ronon looks up and grunts. "Yeah."

Sheppard starts eating. "She's a floater." Ronon narrows his gaze and Sheppard adds: "She probably has a hundred different jobs any given week. Mostly grunt work, which is probably why she's so stressed."

"Grunt work?"

Sheppard nods. "Mopping floors, doing laundry, cleaning rooms, taking care of trash. After the Genii attack, she was on one of the teams that had to clean up my mess."

"You're mess?"

"Bodies." Ronon nods and Sheppard continues. "And since we lost a few medical people during the Wraith attack, Beckett trained her for little stuff in the infirmary, like removing stitches and giving shots, taking blood. She's also the aerobics instructor…as you've seen," Sheppard grins, a twinkle in his eyes. "More like a dance instructor, I guess."

Ronon ignores the flash of memory at seeing Jax as some anonymous exercise leader. He'd been drawn to her…until he knew who she was. "Anything else?"

"Why so interested, Ronon? Getting ideas?"

He wrinkles his brows. "Just making conversation. Like to know my…"

"Enemies?" Sheppard smirks. "What'd she do to you any way."

Ronon rolls his eyes. "Nothing."

"Has to be something. I've seen that glare before, you know. Had your gun in front of it."

"You were saying?"

"Fine. Be that way." Sheppard's grin turns wicked again. Then he shrugs. "Sometimes she types reports during debriefings. I've heard that she's also a masseuse and an ex-hairdresser. She cut Teyla's hair, think she did a nice job. You know, you could probably use her skills in that department." Ronon glares at him and Sheppard rethinks the tangent. "Mostly, she's McKay's lab rat. Poor kid."

"McKay's?"

Sheppard nods. "She's got the ATA gene and can use it almost as easily as I can. Plus she's got like a two-hundred IQ, not that she's allowed to use it around here." Off of Ronon's look, Sheppard says, "She's way smarter than you and me put together, which is one reason Dr. Weir wanted her on the team."

"So she's a doctor?"

"Uh…no. I'm sure she could be, but…from what I understand, her brother's in the military back on Earth. Special ops."

"A specialist?"

"Yeah. He was on leave at her place when Dr. Weir, General O'Neill and McKay went to do the prelim interview for possibly having him join the team. McKay was there to subtly hand over something that can only be activated by someone with the gene."

Ronon chuckles. "McKay…subtle?"

"Yeah, that gets me too. Anyway, Jax came home early, surprising everyone… and catching McKay's eye, as Elizabeth tells it."

"Figures."

Sheppard nods. "McKay got all jumbled trying to talk to her while keeping her out of the apartment since she didn't have security clearance. He was holding the device in his hand and she pretty much just grabbed it and it activated."

"What about the brother?"

"He recently got engaged and wasn't interested in signing his life away for a seemingly one-way mission. Plus…no gene, so the General didn't push it."

"So you all just uprooted _her_ instead?"

"It's more complicated than that. Just because she had the gene didn't make her an automatic candidate."

"What about being a stripper?" Ronan smirks. His shadow had been eager to tell him about female strippers. Turns out most of them do other things for more money. Ronon's seen such women on other planets, though none of them could move like Jax and most were not as attractive. She must have made a decent living on Earth. Maybe that's why he dislikes her so much. A female willing to sell herself in trade…he could never respect such a woman.

Sheppard's brows rise and his mouth sets in a thin line. "I don't like rumors, Ronon. She's a nice person and doesn't deserve it."

"Why so protective, Sheppard?"

He digs his fork into his food and grumbles. "I don't like it when people are pre-judged and treated unfairly."

The look on Sheppard's face tells Ronon a lot about the Colonel. He must have received similar treatment in the past. Ronon understands better than Sheppard could possibly know, though he says nothing.

Sheppard continues, his voice low. "She passed her background check. They found her over-qualified for any number of positions, only no actual college degree in any field. That's why she's not a doctor. Elizabeth liked her spunk and pulled some strings to get her on the team as a floater. Besides, it's always good to have a masseuse around."

"She's not the most sociable person."

Sheppard cocks his head. "Look who's talking."


	4. Chapter 4

4

Ronon flies through the wormhole, hitting the gate room floor hard, rolls over and is on his feet in an instant. He puts only a little weight on his right leg, still smarting from the arrow that he pulled out. He helps McKay up. "I'm good." And the gate shuts off.

Dr. Beckett and his staff are already in the gate room with four gurneys. Sheppard's instantly put on one against his wishes. But Teyla declines though she helps a wobbly McKay onto one. "I do believe you are truly injured, Dr. McKay."

McKay looks up at her with wide eyes. "I am?" He flops down onto the mattress. "Okay."

Teyla looks to Dr. Beckett. "He hit is head on the floor when he came through." Dr. Beckett nods in understanding then turns to Ronon.

"That's a bad limp, son. Get on board."

"I'm fine."

"Sure you say. But I'm the doctor here. I'll make that determination on my own."

Ronon steps right up to the doctor, towering over him, invading his space. "I said I'm fine."

"For crying out loud, shut up and get your ass on the damn gurney!" Ronon visibly bristles at the sharp voice and he turns to see Jax standing beside the rolling bed with her hands on her hips and that look of defiance in her eyes.

The room falls silent as everyone waits for Ronon to whip out his gun and shoot her. He's extremely tempted and for some reason he thinks she knows it and is purposely goading him into action. He can sense the guards around the gate room ready to take defensive action though he's not sure who they'd really shoot.

Sheppard sighs heavily. "Just do it, Ronon. We don't need a whole lot of blood in the gate room right now."

"Is that an order, Sheppard?"

Sheppard scowls at him the same way he did when they were tied up in the criminal's camp. Ronon growls as he sits on the gurney. It takes three men to wheel him to the infirmary but only two in Sheppard's case.

Dr. Beckett assesses Teyla before handing her a couple of white tablets and a glass of water. "You're fine lass. Let me know if your headache gets worse."

"Thank you. I will." She takes the medicine, nods to both Sheppard and Ronon.

"Go take a nap, Teyla. We'll get you for the de-brief." Teyla nods again, this time with a small smile then heads out the doors.

"She looks wiped," Sheppard says to Dr. Beckett.

"Aye. But she's a strong lass. I'm sure a bit of rest will do just the trick." The doctor moves on to McKay. "Do you feel queasy, Rodney?" McKay shakes his head a little bit then moans at the motion and both hands fly to his head, covering his eyes. "You have a slight concussion, so I'm keeping you here for observation." The other doctor doesn't so much as whine, which tells Ronon he's actually hurt. Then Dr. Beckett checks on Sheppard as a nurse carefully takes off Ronon's boot and removes the bandage Teyla applied earlier.

"You bruised your ribs again, Colonel."

"Well not on purpose. Tell me something I don't know."

"You're gonna live, how's that." Sheppard chuckles softly as the doctor looks over the back of his head. "A couple of nasty gashes here, though. You got a good walloping didn't you, son."

"As usual."

"I keep warning ya about how you talk to people. Nobody likes a smart-ass."

Sheppard winces a bit as the doctor probes his wounds. "Yeah, especially psychotic convicts being served up as Wraith food."

"At least you won't be needing stitches, so we won't be needing to add to your crappy haircut." Sheppard rolls his eyes. "But they do need a good cleaning. Jax?" Dr. Beckett calls. She appears almost out of no where and Ronon cringes. "The Colonel here has some head lacs that need cleaning. No stitches. Topical anesthetic." Jax nods then rushes off without a word. When she returns she's gloved up and carrying a small tray.

"Hi again," Sheppard says.

She smiles a little. "Hi."

Sheppard turns his head toward Ronon so she can work. "Given any more thought to my idea?"

"Not really, no," she says with a slight blush in her cheeks.

"C'mon. It's a morale booster."

Jax's eyes dart to the ceiling then back down to the task at hand. She takes a deep breath, but when she talks, her voice is low almost a whisper. "It's also a lot of hard work."

Sheppard smirks at Ronon. "But you thrive on hard work."

The red in Jax cheeks deepens just before she says, "I'm sure I can convince the ladies-"

"Good." Sheppard cuts her off.

"-if you join my class," she finishes.

Sheppard's eyes nearly pop out of his head and Ronon has to force a laugh to stay down. "Now, wait-" Sheppard holds up a finger.

"That's the deal," she sighs.

"That's just so…wrong," Sheppard whines.

"C'mon, Colonel," Ronon starts. "I'm sure she can teach you all sorts of moves." The moment it's out of his mouth, Ronon realizes it's a mistake.

There's a darkness in her eyes, and he's not thinking about the rich brown color either. It's only a flash, but it startles him a bit as her gaze latches onto his, it's a deep well of rage. He's seen it before…in the mirror. In an instant the raw emotion is covered by a thick wall of ice. She dips her head, attending to the Colonel in silence.

A moment later, Sheppard scowls at him, mouthing: _What'd you have to say that for?_ Ronon shrugs and shakes his head.

"Dr. Beckett. It's clean through the muscle," the nurse checking Ronon's ankles says.

Dr. Beckett comes over and looks at the ankle. "You're lucky lad. Could have hit a bone or artery. Okay, then. It'll take a while to heal, son." Dr. Beckett turns to the nurse. "Flush it, pack it, wrap him up." Dr. Beckett raises his brows at Ronon. "I'm assuming you won't mind a local this time?"

"Local what?"

"Anesthesia, son. It won't knock you out, but will numb up the wound so we can work."

Ronon looks to Sheppard. "Would you?"

Sheppard opens his eyes; he seems almost drowsy as Jax works on him. "Hell yeah." Then he closes his eyes again, a content smile turning up his lips.

Ronon grunts to Dr. Beckett. "Fine. Do it."

Jax finishes cleaning up Sheppard's wounds and moves away silently, stripping off her gloves. The moment she stops working, his smile falls and he opens his eyes. "Done already?" Jax nods as she takes her tray and disappears, smiling softly but not once locking her eyes on Sheppard's. Once she's out of earshot, Sheppard leans over to Ronon. "She's got the most relaxing touch."

Ronon remembers how swiftly, but feather light her fingers worked to remove his stitches a couple weeks before. "Too bad the rest of her is so annoying."

Sheppard shakes his head as he gets up. "Get over yourself; I saw how you looked at her in the gym. And all those questions…you think she's hot."

"She's a pain in the ass," Ronon grumbles.

"Please…" McKay groans from his bed on the other side of Ronon. "You _so_ want to pull her pig tails and punch her in the shoulder."

"What?"

"He's saying you like her," Sheppard says quietly as he picks up his vest and gun. "By the way, you're one to talk, McKay," the Colonel adds as he heads out the door without a glance back.

The scientist covers his eyes with his arm. "At least I'm willing to admit it to myself. If…not… to anyone else," he adds sourly.

A moment later there's a cool spot on Ronon's arm. He looks over just in time to see Jax pushing the plunger on a needle. "What's that?"

"Tetanus." Then she walks away.


	5. Chapter 5

5

Ronon's walking down the corridor to the nearest transporter, getting the required daily exercise prescribed by Dr. Beckett—no running allowed—until his wound is fully healed. Since joining Sheppard's team, officially, he no longer has a shadow following him about and is permitted to explore the city of the Ancestors as any other member. Their team has been grounded for two weeks until Dr. Beckett clears him for duty again. Ronon would prefer going off-world, but Sheppard agreed with the doctor.

Ronon thinks Sheppard wants more time off to recuperate from his minor injuries. Besides that, the Colonel seems to keep himself busy following Dr. Weir around the base or pestering her in the office. Ronon's caught the occasional smile Sheppard gets whenever Dr. Weir enters a room; it's different than any other. The man hides it quickly, but not fast enough. Ronon wonders if Sheppard even knows he does it.

The last week has been particularly rough with nothing to do. He's not even permitted to spar with Teyla, even though he feels fine and has no pain in his leg. He's not even limping anymore. He's been feeling restless and in need of movement. So, even though Sheppard told him not to go into the unexplored sections of the city without an escort due to the water damage from the storm and the possibility of infection from some lab, Ronon's managed to slip away unnoticed for many hours at a time.

In the last couple days, he's discovered several balconies that overlook the city and the ocean below that others do not seem to know about. He gets his exercise on the walk to and from, but spends much time sitting in silence…clearing his head of thoughts…away from the noise of too many people. Ronon doesn't know if he'll ever get used to being around so many voices again.

Rapid pops of gun fire echo down the corridor and his hand immediately goes to his gun. Ronon pulls it out and stalks toward the noise. It's easy enough to follow the sound. He quickly ducks into the room. It's flush with red light and there are three paper targets mounted in the distance…at least twice as far away from the shooter than when Sheppard showed him the weapons.

Obviously this is not the normal practice range, though the shooter wears the required eye protection. Ronon holsters his gun as the lone figure takes aim on the paper target. This time he easily recognizes Jax from behind.

She has a good stance, though she could do better, and a double-handed grip on her weapon and she doesn't tense up as she squeezes the trigger, keeping the kick from pushing back her shoulders or lifting the gun into the air after each firing. He can see previous targets lying on the table, all center mass shots as Sheppard calls them. Given the distance she's chosen to put the targets, she's clearly an expert marksman.

Ronon crosses his arms over his chest and watches from the door. She finishes the clip, expels it from the gun and slaps in a new one. Then she flips the safety on and sets the gun on the table to her left, the only piece of furniture in the room. She takes off the goggles and sets them aside next. "What do you want?" She asks without turning.

Somehow she knew he was there. He would have known if someone was watching, but that's because of so many years on the run. He would have heard it…felt it. She couldn't have heard him over the gun fire. "Nothing," he says stonily.

"Then go away." She still doesn't look at him. Instead she goes to replace the three targets with fresh ones.

Ronon steps fully into the room, over to the table and fingers through the used targets. He holds up one and counts fourteen shots to the chest and a single kill shot in the center of the forehead. Ronon's brow creases. "You're good." He lets the paper rest on the table and watches her.

Jax puts the last target in place. "I know," she says matter-of-factly, without a hint of arrogance. Then she turns back and walks toward the table. She walks on the balls of her feet, gliding again. When she stands next to him, he once again realizes how much smaller she is. Tiny compared to him. He'd forgotten somehow. Even as she was putting up the targets, she seemed much taller. More statuesque. Though clearly she isn't.

She replaces the goggles, picks up the gun and easily slides a round into the chamber. Though she faces the target, she doesn't take aim. She turns slightly over one shoulder, not enough to look at him directly, but enough for him to clearly hear her words. "I don't bother you on the balcony."

Ronon's struck by that. "You followed me?"

She chuffs sarcastically. "You're a new arrival. I was here first." Now she does look up at him, catching his gaze fully. "Go away."

Ronon nods once and backs off. She turns back to the target, raising her gun. He should head straight for the door, but he doesn't. Something is keeping him here. Before she flips off the safety, he's behind her again. "Just one thing. The way you stand-"

His hands graze her hips to turn her ever so slightly but she slips through his grasp, twisting and falling forward and away, landing hard enough on her right shoulder to knock the wind out of most women, but she's down and her gun is steady in her hands, aiming at his face.

"I. Never. Said. You. Could. Touch. Me." Her voice is low, teeth clenched and her aim still steady.

Ronon knows he's a fast draw, but he didn't even have an inkling to move for his weapon. And he's not nearly as far away as those targets she managed to put several holes in. His first instinct is to take his chances, dive out of the way and take his shot at her. But the look in her eyes, that darkness that seems so familiar is like a drug. He's drawn into it. He can't look away from her. Ronon raises his hands and takes a step back. "Never again."

This seems to appease her slightly and that ice wall slides over her eyes again, locking him out of her world. Her pain. Without taking her eyes off him, she flips on the safety, which she must have taken off mid-tumble. Then she drops her gaze and gets to her feet with a smooth roll to the left. She shoves the weapon into the waistband of her pants, takes off the safety glasses and tosses them on top of the used targets. "Fine. I'll go." With that she glides out of the room without a look back.

Ronon hears his heart beating in his ears. And his stomach tightens as she moves away so fluidly. He once again remembers how easily aroused he was by the sight of her working with the women in the gym. How he'd been drawn to the leader…before his dislike returned.

As he watched her firing on the targets, as she boldly told him to leave, even as she held the gun on him, not once did that dislike surface this time. In fact, something else surfaced. Teyla earned his respect with her honesty, fighting skills and authority of leadership. But this woman…he swore he could never respect such a creature. Not after finding out what she did with her body. But now…the way she handles herself, her grace, and her skills, whatever she did in her past…none of that matters to him. It is what he saw in her eyes that makes his stomach quiver and his heart beat faster.

She's just like him.

Jax is a runner.


	6. Chapter 6

6

Sheppard leads the way through the field toward the Stargate. They're walking casually, something Ronon's not quite used to considering the other worlds they've been to. This particular one was simple, but fruitful when it came to farming and they made trade arrangements for food easily enough. Sheppard seems pleased with himself. "So…you like her now, huh?"

"I just said I don't dislike her anymore."

Sheppard's grin grows. "It's kinda an either or thing, Ronon. You either dislike someone or you like them."

"That's not entirely true, Colonel," McKay says coming up behind them. "It's very possible to not have any feelings about someone altogether. Is that how you feel, Ronon? You feel nothing for the lovely Jax, correct?"

Ronon has to laugh at McKay's insecurity. "What if I do, doctor? You think you'd have a chance?"

"Oh…I don't know…maybe."

Teyla comes up after McKay. "Who is this discussion about?"

Sheppard glances back. "Ronon has a crush on Maggie Jackson."

Teyla's eyes brighten and she smiles. "Really?"

"No," Ronon says firmly.

Teyla rolls her head to the side. "She's a very lovely lady, Ronon. You could do worse."

"No," McKay says suddenly. "You could do better. You should stay away from her…forever." Teyla and Sheppard chuckle as Ronon glowers at McKay's lame attempt to dissuade him. "She's really not your type, Ronon."

"Why is that, doctor?" Ronon watches McKay carefully, he's easily intimidated and fun to play with. The fact is, Ronon doesn't know how he feels about Jax. He's intrigued, and could be attracted to her, but there's something stopping him…and it's not her good aim. He didn't mention their encounter to anyone, considering neither of them was supposed to be in that area anyway. But he is wondering more about her. He found his dreams filled with her eyes that same night.

McKay's voice gets higher in pitch. "She's…"

"She's what?" Ronon stops walking suddenly. "Too smart for me?"

"Maybe? ... No I meant to say….she's a mystery is all. You really don't know her life story."

"That's what dating is for, McKay," Sheppard says as he turns and grins at them.

"I know enough," Ronon says quietly. "She's a runner."

"Sure you do…she's a what?" McKay asks. Sheppard stops in his track and turns fully to look at him and Teyla cocks her head to the side.

"Did you say runner?" Teyla asks. Ronon nods. "But she's from Earth…is she not, Colonel?"

"Yeah," his brows crease over his dark glasses. "And we don't have Wraith hunting people there… yet."

"Doesn't matter," Ronon says. "I've seen it." He looks sharply at Sheppard. "So have you."

Teyla's eyes dart between Sheppard and Ronon. "I do not understand. What could she be running from?"

Ronon shrugs and starts walking again. "Anything. Everything. Earth, maybe."

"People," Sheppard says suddenly but with conviction. He glances at McKay. "How easy was it to convince her to leave Earth?"

"Very." McKay's eyes narrow as he considers something. "This makes sense now."

"What does?" Teyla asks.

McKay waves a finger in the air. "Her history. The unfulfilled potential. Menial jobs, no real friends or family. It's textbook as Dr. Heightmeyer would say."

"Textbook of what?" Sheppard asks, taking a step toward McKay.

"Oh," McKay says. "Jax's was orphaned at the age of four…never adopted. Foster homes, group homes. When she turned sixteen she filed for emancipation."

Sheppard seems to understand this very well. He drops his head and rubs his hand against the back of his neck. "This explains a lot."

"What does orphan mean?"

Sheppard looks at Teyla. "She lost her family…had no where to go so the government would put her in a home to be raised. They don't always work out for older kids."

"Especially brilliant ones," McKay says. "Remember, she's got an IQ almost as high as mine, plus she's got a photographic memory."

"Oh, man," Sheppard says. "That's a blessing and a curse."

"Yeah," McKay says. He sees the confusion on Ronon's face and explains. "She remembers everything she reads, hears and sees. And I mean everything."

"Including the bad stuff," Ronon says.

Sheppard and McKay nod. The foursome starts for the gate again. After a moment, Ronon taps Sheppard on the shoulder. "I thought you said she had a brother."

"Oh, she does. Half brother anyway," Rodney adds. "But they only found each other about two years ago. I should say, he found her…or the military found her for him."

"Why would they do that?" Teyla asks.

"He needed a bone marrow donor after he got exposed to a very nasty bio-weapon while on assignment. She saved his life. He's the one we wanted for the team, by the way. Nice kid. Great record, straight arrow. You would've hated him Sheppard." The Colonel glowers over his shoulder. "But the guy got a better deal, I suppose."

"Better deal?" Teyla asks.

"Yeah, a wife. They were moving to Spain for his new post."

"Leaving Jax behind," Ronon says quietly.

McKay nods as if he just realized the truth of that. "Yeah, I suppose so."


	7. Chapter 7

7

Ronon follows Sheppard through the gate and as always, the Colonel's gaze darts upward toward the balcony where Dr. Weir usually waits for them to return. The balcony is empty today and Ronon sees a flicker of disappointment cross Sheppard's face.

He clicks his radio. "Dr. Weir, this is Sheppard." After a second without an answer he tries again. "Elizabeth?" She answers, though Ronon does not hear it, he sees that secret smile Sheppard has only for Dr. Weir. "Why are you whispering?" His eyes narrow. "What are you doing in the Westside gym?" After a moment, Sheppard's look changes to one of mild shock. He looks at Ronon. "She shut off her radio."

"Why would she do that?"

Sheppard shakes his head then suddenly stops, his eyes narrowing again. "I heard music in the background." Something flashes in his eyes and he smirks. "I wonder…?" He taps Ronon's shoulder. "Come with me."

"Where are we going?"

"We need to give Dr. Weir our report." He glances back. "Teyla, McKay, take the samples to Beckett, tell him we'll be by soon for our check up." McKay waves his hand in acknowledgement. Sheppard leads the way to the nearest transporter.

* * *

They're heading to a different gym than the one they previously used. According to Sheppard, this particular one has highly polished hardwood floors and is wider rather than longer. On the way, Sheppard seemed particularly excited to see what was happening inside.

Ronon can hear music as they enter the corridor. It's different from the last time, slower, though there is a beat, but no voices. "I know this song," Sheppard says thoughtfully. They see Dr. Weir standing in the corridor, leaning against the door frame to the room. She's wearing her work suit, not exercise clothing. Sheppard's face falls, obviously disappointed she's not actually in the class. "Elizabeth?"

Dr. Weir turns abruptly, catching sight of them and quickly brings her finger to her lips to quiet them. When they reach the door, they look inside, seeing what has her so enthralled.

The room is dark save for the shimmering lights of dusk coming through the colored windows. The music rises and just as abruptly changes pace and melody. Ronon remembers hearing such instruments before, but there is also the familiar beat of the earlier Earth music. It is an odd combination, but enjoyable.

"Where do I know this song from?" Sheppard whispers to Dr. Weir.

She turns to whisper back to him. "I believe it's from a movie soundtrack…long time ago."

Ronon's heartbeat quickens as Jax glides over the floor…alone. No jerking moves or shakes as previously, nor does she does call out. She simply floats: a bird in the air. In effortless leaps, she appears to hang in mid-flight for a moment, then lands with the lightness of a summer rain drop.

In sharp contrast to the black material clinging to every curve of her form as a second skin there is a see-through fabric, the color of the sky at dusk, tied about her tiny waist. It floats on the air as she does, as light as feathers. He's never seen clothing of this kind. The second skin covers her entire form including arms and legs, but he can see the sculpted muscles writhing beneath the surface and he suddenly wants to hide her from Sheppard's sight.

Ronon shakes off that last thought. He has no reason to feel such a way. Jax does not belong to him. He has no claim. Besides, Sheppard's eyes are clearly for someone else.

Jax spins and faces them, but doesn't see them for one simple reason. She's blindfolded! He glances at Dr. Weir and points. "Why is she…?"

Dr. Weir shrugs and whispers. "No distractions maybe."

When Jax slides to the music, turns and spins, arms over head, one toe to the opposite knee, then kicks the leg out to the beat of the music and spins around again, Dr. Weir gasps softly before quickly covering her mouth. After a few more spins, Jax flattens one foot on the floor, leans forward and straightens her other leg out behind her, gently waving her arms as if she's gliding on an ocean breeze. "Ohmygod," Dr. Weir says to herself. "It can't be…"

"What's she doing?" Sheppard asks.

With a sparkle in her eyes, Dr. Weir taps Sheppard on the arm and leads away from the door. Sheppard gives Jax one last glance before following Dr. Weir. But Ronon finds it difficult to go. The word 'dancer' is a new Earth term for him, but he understands it completely when he watches Jax move. He finds it relaxing and yet thrilling to see her—

Sheppard's pulling him away from the door by the upper arm. Next thing he knows, they're all heading for the transporter.

"Colonel," Dr. Weir starts. "I have a mission for you."

"Mission…we just got back. And let me tell you, those Bo…uh…Ba…"

"Bowtiss," Ronon supplies.

"Right. Those Bowtiss have some interesting food."

"You didn't eat anything yet?" She asks with concern.

"No, no, Beckett's gonna check it first. But Teyla swears by this one fruit called Tangis."

"Sounds promising. And you didn't make any arrangements for weapons, I take it?"

Sheppard scowls playfully. "Not yet."

Dr. Weir smiles as she presses the button in the transporter. "Good to know."

They step off the transporter and head to the Control Room. Ronon wonders why he needs to be here, he'd much rather be watching Jax work her magic to music. He sighs and crosses his arms. Sheppard merely glances at him. "Give it a rest, Chewy. It's her down time, she obviously didn't want to be seen…otherwise why go so far away." He looks at Dr. Weir. "Why were you there?"

"She cancelled her class, I wondered if anything was wrong. Found her by accident really. She was the only dot outside the main area." Dr. Weir glances at Sheppard. "Did you just call him Chewy?"

Sheppard shrugs. "Yeah, well…you know. Chewbacca."

Dr. Weir tries to hold in a laugh, but it escapes. "And this would make you…Han Solo?"

Sheppard grins ear-to-ear and Ronon wonders why this name he's been given causes such uproar among the Atlanteans. Teyla is not amused by it. She figures it has something to do with how much he eats in one sitting.

Dr. Weir looks at Ronon and clears the laughter from her throat then continues walking. They make it to her office and she sits behind the desk, picking up a pen and twisting it around her fingers. She taps her headset. "Dr. Zelenka, could you come to my office please?" After a moment, she clicks off the headset and looks at Sheppard. "This new mission, Colonel. Given your skills, should not take too much time. However, it must be discrete. Very discrete."

Sheppard's eyes narrow. "What kind of mission?"

"You'll have to do some off-world traveling...but you cannot tell Teyla or McKay what you are looking for or why."

"What _are_ we looking for?"

Dr. Weir smiles slyly. "A world that has a lot of snow and ice. Most importantly, it has to have a frozen lake that is safe to travel over. And no Wraith."

"Okaaay," Sheppard says, his face full of confusion.

"I have been to one," Ronon says. "It was unpopulated. I had to shoot through the ice to catch some food. At least a foot deep. But it has been several seasons."

Her smile's as big as he's ever seen. "Do you remember the address?"

"I will try."

"Elizabeth, what are you up to?"

"Increasing morale." She looks at Sheppard. "Colonel. Your mission, should you choose to accept it and complete it with the due secrecy I require, will net you three days on the mainland…surfing."

Sheppard's brows shoot up. "Really?" He glances at Ronon then back to her. "What's the deal?"

"Scout this planet and if it doesn't meet my requirements, you'll have to find one that does, without anyone finding out."

"That's it? Just scout a winter wonderland?"

"Not exactly." She tilts her head to the side. "How good are you at setting up sound systems?"

"Dr. Weir?" Zelenka asks as he comes into her office.

"Radek. Thank you. Colonel, Ronon, you leave first thing in the morning."

Sheppard nods as does Ronon and they both step out of the office, sharing a confused look. Ronon raises his brows. "What's she up to?"

He shrugs. "Good question. But if I get my three days…I really don't care so much."

"Right."

As they walk away from her office, they hear Dr. Zelenka's excited utterance: "Angela Peterson!" They both turn in time to see Dr. Weir raising her hands and shushing repeatedly to quiet the man now babbling in his own language. "Nesmírný tragédie! The most…graceful-" Dr. Weir closes her door, shutting off Zelenka's words.

Sheppard makes a face. He stops in mid-step and glances back at Dr. Weir's office. The confusion in his face seems to melt a bit. "That's weird."

"Something new?"

"Yeah…" His eyes narrow. "But that's not the weird part."

"What is weird?" Ronon asks, not knowing the word.

Sheppard turns back to him, a new gleam in his eyes. "It's the craziest thing…but, I think I might know what's going on."

"And that's…weird." So weird means knowing what is happening? He may never understand Earth language.

"Oh, yeah."

"You going to tell me?"

Sheppard chews on his bottom lip, his eyes darting back to Dr. Weir's office. "Not just yet. But," he turns to Ronon. "I do have a job for you."

Ronon doesn't like the glint in Sheppard's eyes.


	8. Chapter 8

8

Ronon presses his hands against the door frame, willing himself to knock. He can't do it. He can't do what Sheppard wants. It's just not in him. He sighs heavily, ready to turn and leave. Sheppard can find another way to get the information he wants.

Just as he pushes himself away, the door slides open and Jax stares at him with those cool dark eyes, her face without expression. Once again she surprises him by somehow knowing he was outside her door.

She has changed from the 'dance' clothes, though what she's wearing is still so different from everyone else in the city. The black shirt has no sleeves; barely a thread on either shoulder holding it in place, showing her long, toned arms and the low front exposes the tell-tale defining line of a woman. Even Teyla's clothes do not reveal this much flesh.

Ronon finds the sight distracting and a bit unnerving. Stranger still, he has the urge to tell her to cover up. Even the dark blue pants with the tie at the waist disturb him. They are rolled up to the knees, exposing much of her elegant legs.

Her dark hair hangs in wet ringlets to her shoulders, dripping on the beige bandage wrapped around her right shoulder and waist. It's holding something in place against her back, though she does not allow him to see that. She licks her lips and cocks her head to the side, that same impatient gleam in her eyes. "What now?"

"Can I come in?"

"No."

Ronon leans against the doorframe again as if he's holding up the walls. "Sheppard told me you cut hair."

She starts to unwrap the bandage fastened at her waist, rolling it as she does. "Not his."

Ronon clears his throat. "Will you cut mine?"

Her hands stop moving and she looks at him sharply. After a moment of holding his gaze prisoner, she works on removing the bandage again. "No."

Ronon's brows shoot up. "Why not?"

The remainder of the bandage falls away and he catches a glimpse of an infirmary cold pack as it drops into her right hand behind her back. She turns and tosses the pack onto her bed and though she tries to hide it from him, Ronon sees a large purple and black bruise on her right shoulder blade—a left over from her fall the other day. Her arms gently overlap at her waist, fingers drumming against the opposite arm. "Is this your way of asking me out or something?"

He keeps his expression as neutral as hers. "No." Then tilts his head, considering her. "Why not?"

"You're hair?" He nods. Jax steps closer. "Because dreads fit you."

"Dreads?"

"That's what they're called on Earth. Dreadlocks. Works for you." She sniffs. "Especially the dread part." She looks up, obviously studying his wild mane and sighs, sliding her lower jaw to the side. "It could use a good shampooing and some conditioning though." She steps even closer and he smells something sweet coming from her skin. Flowers or fruit. "Meet me in the mess at eleven-thirty tonight." And with that, she palms the control and the door shuts in his face.

* * *

"Good for you," Sheppard says, stuffing dinner into his mouth. "Your first date."

"It's not a date."

Sheppard grins. "Sure. Where are you meeting her?"

"Here."

His brows cinch. "Here?"

"Eleven-thirty. When is that any way?"

Sheppard shows him the time piece. "2230 hours. After the kitchen closes. We really need to get you a watch."

"One of those?" Sheppard nods. Ronon digs into his own food. "Sounds good."

After eating in silence for some time, Sheppard's brows crease again. "Here?" Ronon shrugs and Sheppard shakes his head. "Well. Gotta start somewhere." After a few more bites, he adds. "It should be on the left, just under the collar bone."

"Close call."

"Yeah." He raises his brows. "I doubt she's going to show it to you, though."

"Saw it."

Sheppard's brows raise and his eyes open wide. "Really? Don't you move fast."

"Saw the spot. No scar." Sheppard's brow wrinkles and he tugs on his lower lip. Ronon shovels in more food, talking around it. "There's an off-color patch there though."

Sheppard's eyes narrow. "What do you mean?"

"Skin's a different color from the rest around it. A little darker, but only if you're looking for it. About the right size for what you're thinking." Ronon sips his drink. "How'd you guess?"

"Recognized the name."

"Important family on your planet or something?"

"Or something." Sheppard rocks his head from side-to-side, pushing his food around the plate. "That…and…I always followed news about the Olympics, since I was a kid."

"Those the contests you mentioned."

"Yeah."

Sheppard leans forward, motioning with his fork for emphasis. "And if any of my men find out," he meets Ronon's eyes. "I'll know who to hunt down."

"Why's that?"

He closes his eyes, speaking low, barely moving his mouth. "It's an Earth thing…a macho… guys don't watch that particular event...thing." After another moment, he adds. "If there's a similar mark on her back…then we'd know."

"Why is this important? Like you said, she passed the background check."

Sheppard grimaces. "That whole thing might be a lie. Except for the part about the military having to track her down. Must've pulled some serious strings on that one."

"And that's a problem."

He shrugs. "Probably not. But I'd rather be certain…than…not certain." He sips his drink. "I just like to know who I'm working with is all."

"You don't like Dr. Weir knowing something you don't."

Sheppard nods with a smirk. "There is that."

"Why not ask her?"

Sheppard's brow rises. "Like you said. She's like you. Not exactly forthcoming with the information."


	9. Chapter 9

9

Ronon arrives, finding the mess dark, with the chairs piled atop clean tables. He hears glass clinking and follows the sound into the back. The kitchen lights are on. There are four people, two men and one woman piling clean dishes into the bins for the next morning, and Jax behind them drying her hands.

She's wearing the same baggy, gray uniform as the other three and her hair is piled high on her head, dark curls breaking free around her neck, a few strands stuck to her moist forehead. Thin wires come from her ears down to a small white box clipped to her pants at the waist. She tosses the towel over her shoulder and nods to him. "Grab a chair from the mess."

The others glance at him momentarily then go back to stacking. Ronon takes the nearest chair and carries it back into the kitchen. Jax waves him over to her end, pointing him to set it down in front of a low basin. "Sit," she says. Ronon drops into the chair.

"Night, Jax." One of the men calls, waving.

"Goodnight Owen." She nods to the other two. "Cassie, Jeff."

"Night," they say in unison. They briefly glance at Ronon, but say nothing and their expressions are as blank and emotionless as Jax's.

Once their gone, Ronon grunts. "Friendly." He glances at Jax, her eyes seem a bit glazed and her face slightly pink.

The towel disappears from her shoulder. "They're tired," she says. "Lean back." As he does, she lifts his hair into the basin. Ronon can feel the towel pillowing his neck. As she leans over to turn on the water, Ronon can hear music coming from her ears, the same that she danced to earlier. And she's humming to it.

When the warm water hits his head, it's nothing new, but as she leans over and starts massaging something into his scalp, a warm tingle travels from his head, down his back to his toes until his whole body relaxes. Sheppard wasn't lying. Before he realizes it, his eyes are closed and his mind wanders over the events of the day…

He's back outside the gym, watching Jax float through the air. She spins and jumps, turns and kicks all with the grace of a bird in lift-off. Her hair spills from the top of her head, tumbling in ringlets over her shoulders and down her back. Longer than it really is. She twirls again, stopping mid-turn to smile at him, dark eyes gleaming, but she's changed. Jax is replaced by a beautiful face long gone. "Ronon," the young woman sighs happily.

"Nally!" Ronon jerks, opening his eyes, nearly bursting from the chair. Jax jumps away from him, crouching in fighting stance, her hands covered in soap. Ronon looks around, coming back to his senses. He clears his throat and leans back against the sink. "Sorry." Her eyes narrow but, otherwise, Jax doesn't move a muscle. Ronon looks up at the ceiling, deciding it's best to keep his eyes open, no matter how relaxed he gets.

It takes a couple moments before she returns and rinses his hair. "Who was she?" Jax asks softly, massaging some other liquid into his scalp. He can feel her fingers gently tug on his 'dreads'. Though he doesn't say anything, Jax seems to sense what he's thinking. "Someone you loved."

Ronon shifts in the chair. "Yes." Jax continues working the liquid to the ends of his hair. She starts humming along with her music again. Ronon reaches over and yanks the wires, pulling the earpieces out. "Turn it off."

Surprisingly, she doesn't jump away in her usual manner. Instead, she does as he says, pressing a button on the white box, without objection. "Better?" Ronon nods.

She turns on the water again, but doesn't rinse his hair. Then the water shuts off and she moves to a nearby rack, pulling out a towel and drying her hands. Jax looks at her time piece, then folds her arms and leans against the rack, closing her eyes. "Five minutes," is all she says.

Ronon's gaze is drawn to her when she sighs. Her face slack with exhaustion and it seems a bit redder than before, glistening with a light sheen. She doesn't have any lines marking her age. If Sheppard's theory is correct, she should be older than Ronon by several seasons…just as Nally. If Sheppard's theory is correct, she should be dead…just as Nally.

"Who did it?" He asks suddenly and Jax's eyes pop open. Her left hand automatically goes to the hidden spot under her uniform then just as quickly continues up to her neck as if that was the destination the whole time. "Who taught you to kill?"

The briefest of smiles starts at the corner of her mouth and her face softens, she looks even younger than before, almost happy. "He taught me to survive," she says in a handful of breaths.

Ronon now knows that this man…this trainer, meant more to Jax than her own life. Not unlike Nally did to him. "What is there to survive on Earth? No Wraith-"

And with a single blink of the eyes, her expression turns flat, emotionless. "Mankind is its own death, we don't need the Wraith."

"Why did you need it…need to survive?"

She stares at him with that cool, unblinking, unfeeling gaze. Expressing nothing. Giving away nothing of herself. Always hiding behind that impossibly blank mask. "I was in the wrong place at the wrong time." Ronon raises his brows. She tilts her head. "I saw something I shouldn't have…and remembered everything."

"You're a runner," he says firmly. "Like me."

A twitch in her upper lip and a sudden sparkle in her eyes proves to Ronon there is someone somewhere inside that graceful body, held prisoner behind that mask. A soul that floats on the air with music. In that instance, he knows that soul belongs to someone else. Sheppard is correct. Maggie Jackson is a lie.

She pulls a small bottle from her pocket, shakes out two white pills then pops them into her mouth and swallows before closing the bottle and stuffing it back into her pocket.

"Are you ill?"

"Preventive measures."

"Preventing what?"

"Stress." She glances at her wrist then returns to the basin and rinses his hair. She spends several moments wringing excess water from his mane before returning to the rack and tossing him a large towel. "We're done."

Ronon stands up, leaving the towel on the chair and shakes his head, sending water drops flying about the kitchen. For a moment he could swear he hears Jax chuckle, but when he glances at her, she's leaning against the rack, arms crossed and eyes closed. Ronon touches his hair. It does feel…better. "Thank you."

"Here to serve," she says, opening her eyes. They still look glazed and the pink in her face has darkened again.

"Jax…?"

"I need to clean up." She motions to the open end of the kitchen. "If you don't mind. I'd like to get out of here sometime this century."

Once again, she makes him feel he has to comply. Since the strange dream, he now realizes why Jax affects him so easily. Why her tone and defiance annoys him to no end, and yet he's willing to put up with her. Nally used to treat him the same…and he always obeyed.

With a simple glance in his direction or a tilt of her head, Nally had his complete obedience. Though, unlike with Jax, Ronon did everything Nally asked simply to make her happy. Seeing her smile had been the best part of every day of his life.

Until she was gone. Stolen away in the beginning of her life. Stolen by the Wraith.

He'd pushed her memory away for so long and now it comes back in full force, threatening to overpower him…break him. He closes his eyes tight. The rage he has for the Wraith is barely contained on a moment to moment basis and he can feel the anger tightening his muscles, boiling his blood as it pounds in his ears. His hands curl into fists and his arms tense and bulge.

When he opens his eyes, he sees Jax moving away from the rack, pushing herself into a tight corner of the wall, as far away from him as she can get. Ronon has seen hatred and rage in her eyes…this is the first time he's seen fear.

And he's causing it.

Though she's still backing away, that fear is quickly covered by the ice shield she no doubt perfected over the years. "Leave now," she says steely. She doesn't yell or scream as many other frightened females might. And as he watches, Ronon sees she's not pushing herself into a corner to hide, but from which to launch an attack…if necessary.

Ronon forces himself to relax. He drops his gaze to the floor and apologizes quietly. "You remind me of…" From under his brows, he locks eyes with Jax. "Her." He takes a deep breath. "The Wraith came…I watched her die."

She nails him with that hard gaze, keeping her tone level, emotionless. "I'm sorry you're wife…girlfriend… whatever…died. It happens. You deal. You move on. And if you're lucky…you forget."

"You've never lost someone you love," Ronon spits.

Jax draws herself upright coming out of the corner, hands in tight fists, eyes blazing with rage, jaws clenched, body ready to spring for attack. "I lose _everyone_ I love," she growls, the rumble coming from deep inside. "And I don't get the convenience of blaming the Wraith," she spits back. "I kill them." He stares at her, speechless.

"You're not special, Ronon Dex." She looks him up and down with those hateful eyes. "And we are _nothing_ alike." Her defiant gaze locks onto his again. "Now get out of my face, before I get testy."

Ronon doesn't move. He can't. His booted feet seem to be stuck to the floor. It's her eyes again. All that hatred and rage. At first he'd felt it flowing out of her, at everyone else, blaming the universe and beyond…but there's only one target for all that fury…herself.

If he pulled his gun and aimed it at her face, she would probably stare down the barrel and wait patiently for him to shoot.


	10. Chapter 10

10

There's a single clap from behind jarring both Ronon and Jax out of their stare down. "Hey, what are you kids still doing up?" Colonel Sheppard's boisterous voice is full of humor.

Jax's breath catches as her eyes dart to Sheppard then drop to the floor. Her face softens instantly. "Nothing, Colonel," she says quietly, turning away. "Mr. Dex was just leaving."

Ronon glances at Sheppard, who raises his brows in question. Ronon looks back at Jax once more. She's already started cleaning up the area, keeping herself busy as to not have to look at either of them. Ronon stomps passed Sheppard out into the empty, dark mess hall and the Colonel quickly follows.

"What the hell did I walk in on? She looked ready to kill you."

Ronon heads for the exit, forcing Sheppard to keep his pace. "Perhaps."

"Why?"

"Misunderstanding. Doesn't matter. You're correct…she's not who she claims. Mission a success."

"Hey," Sheppard jogs to keep up. "That's not the _only_ reason you did this…is it?"

"No," Ronon grumbles, feeling a different kind of anger well within. "My hair feels great." He shouldn't care about her in the least. It's perfectly clear she's not interested in him and he's fine with that. She's Jax. A pain in his ass, one he can live without. And yet…

He wants to see that rage gone. See that other soul emerge full force to float on more music. He wants to see her smile.

Like Nally.

Out in the corridor near the transporter, Sheppard says, "Stop." Ronon does and slowly turns to face him. The Colonel does not look happy. "I thought you liked this girl. If there's gonna be a problem…I want it over, now."

Ronon smirks, baring his teeth. "You're not very observant for a military man, Sheppard."

His eyes widen and his brows shoot up. "What?"

"There is nothing to be over. It doesn't matter if I like her…if McKay likes her…if every man on every planet everywhere likes her. She's taken." He grimaces. "By someone who doesn't even see her."

Sheppard's confusion is evident. "Who?"

Ronon crosses his arms. "Doesn't matter. I think she likes it that way."

Sheppard's brows crease and he raises a finger. "She likes some guy who doesn't like her and she likes that?"

"Yes."

Sheppard makes many faces in succession, he looks like he wants to say something but words die on his moving lips.

A loud crash from the mess hall jars both of them. Sheppard glances at Ronon then both rush back to the mess. The lights come on as soon as the Colonel enters and they see Jax lying face down on the floor among several chairs that have fallen from a table. Sheppard kneels by her side with Ronon on the other a moment later. The Colonel rolls her over. She's unconscious; her face glistening with sweat.

Sheppard touches her face and neck with the back of his hand. "She's burning up." He clicks his headset. "Beckett, this is Sheppard. Beckett! Medical emergency in the mess hall."

* * *

Dr. Beckett arrives before his team, obviously just roused out of bed. Ronon moves aside so the doctor can check his patient. He lifts one eyelid and flashes a light then does the same to the other.

"She's got a fever," Sheppard says.

The doctor touches her face the same way Sheppard did. "Aye," Dr. Beckett unzips the front of her uniform, exposing the same top Ronon saw earlier, drenched in sweat. "That she does."

Ronon leans in. "What's wrong with her?"

"Could be anything," Beckett says, pressing an instrument to her chest. After a moment, he says, "Tachycardia."

"That's bad," Sheppard says catching Beckett's gaze.

"It's not good." Beckett listens again. "Shallow breathing."

Two nurses rush in maneuvering a gurney. Sheppard lifts Jax onto the bed and to everyone's surprise, she opens her eyes. "Jax," Sheppard starts. "You okay?"

One nurse presses something into her ear and it beeps. "Hundred–two point six."

"Start a saline drip," Beckett says. One of the nurses carefully extracts Jax's left arm from the uniform and swabs the inside.

Jax wearily looks around, trying to sit up, but she can't even seem to lift her head. Her eyes roll until they lock onto Sheppard's as he hovers above. "Ryan?" A soft smile curves her mouth as her right hand comes up, fingertips grazing Sheppard's cheek. She blinks heavily. "No," she sighs. Her eyes narrow on him. "You have his eyes," she whispers then her hand falls away and her eyes close. The other nurse pulls her right arm free of the uniform and wraps something black around it then squeezes a bubble. The black wrap grows around Jax's arm.

Sheppard gently shakes her. "Jax? Jax, wake up."

"Blood pressure's 70 over 50," the other nurse says quickly, pulling off the wrap.

"Let's get moving," Dr. Beckett says, giving the gurney a push.

* * *

Ronon and Sheppard follow the others into the infirmary, occasionally locking gazes, but otherwise keeping tabs on the situation. The moment she said the name, Ronon knew who Jax thought she was speaking to…the man who taught her to survive. Ronon's also sure of one thing: Jax would never have left Earth if that man was still alive.

_I lose_ everyone_ I love. _Perhaps Jax's past is closer to McKay's ramblings that Sheppard thinks.

One of the nurses covers Jax nose and mouth with a clear mask. "Doctor," the other nurse says drawing everyone's attention to Jax's finger. She presses on the nail until the fingertip turns white, when she releases, it stays white for several moments.

"Bloody hell," Beckett says. "Get me Chem-20, CBC, BUN, and Creatine levels ASAP." The nurses busy themselves with the tasks: one taking blood from Jax's right arm while the other draws some from the back of Jax's left hand. The doctor turns to Sheppard and Ronon. "She's severely dehydrated."

"Dehydrated?" Sheppard asks, confusion wrinkling his brows. "From what?"

"What does that mean?" Ronon asks.

"The human body is mostly water. When you put out more than you take in…"

Ronon nods. "So she'll be all right. Once you put the water back."

"It's not that simple, son. She's in a bad state."

Sheppard steps forward. "She's not gonna die though, right Carson?"

Beckett rubs his hand over his face. "That is a possibility. We may not have caught it in time. She could go into shock…renal failure even."

"You're not going to let her," Ronon commands.

"I'll try my best. Aside from her current state, I don't know what caused it in the first place. There could be any number of reasons and complications."

The nurses finish taking the blood. One of them takes all the vials away, but the other stays behind. Beckett turns and draws a curtain hanging from the ceiling around the bed.

"Carson-" Sheppard starts.

"You're welcome to stay, Colonel. In fact, since you two have had direct contact with her, I don't want you going anywhere until you're checked out as well. Just in case. But we have to undress and change the lass. I doubt she wants an audience for that."

"Right. Sorry." Sheppard leans against the wall.

Ronon can feel the man looking at him. He turns. "What?"

Sheppard licks his lips, trying to decide what to say. "What you said earlier…you weren't talking about…that guy she mentioned. Were you."

"So…you're not as dense as you look," Ronon grunts with a nod. Sheppard crosses his arms and bites on his bottom lip, his brows creasing with concern. "Relax," Ronon says. "She likes being invisible."

His forehead wrinkles, his voice edgy with sarcasm. "That makes me feel better. Thanks."

There's movement on the other side of the curtain and something hits the floor and rolls toward Ronon. He picks it up, recognizing the small bottle. "Doc."

"Yeah."

"She took some of these." Ronon shakes the bottle.

The sound pulls Beckett out from behind the curtain. He takes the bottle from Ronon and looks at the label. "Dear Lord." He opens the bottle and pours out the remaining pills and counts them. With a heavy sigh, he says, "I think we've got an overdose."

Sheppard pushes away from the wall. "She's on drugs?"

"In a manner of speaking." He returns the pills to the bottle and replaces the cap before handing it to Sheppard.

The Colonel's eyes crinkle. "Caffeine tabs?"

"Aye," Beckett sighs again. "And if that's from my new batch, the bottle's only two days old."

"And it's almost empty." Sheppard nods.

"There's six pills left. Six out of sixty."

"I don't understand," Ronon says.

Beckett shakes his head. "Caffeine is a stimulant."

"Keeps you awake," Sheppard adds, handing the bottle back to the doctor. "We were all using it when the Wraith attacked." He looks at Beckett. "Why would she still be taking them?"

"For stress."

"Stress?" Sheppard and Beckett say at the same time.

"She called them a preventive measure…for stress."

"No, no," Beckett says. "That can't be right. You must have misheard her, son."

"I didn't."

Sheppard scratches at his chin, there's something in his eyes, like he's trying to find a memory but can't quite place it. "You can OD on caffeine?"

"Aye," Beckett says. "It's very rare. But it's more than just a stimulant. It's a diaretic as well. If she's been taking these for a long time, she's built up a tolerance, but also a toxicity. The body can't handle losing so much fluid. It can cause hallucinations, palpitations which we've seen along with losing consciousness." The nurse comes out from behind the curtain carrying Jax's clothes and nods to Beckett, then heads into the back.

"I thought you said they keep you awake," Ronon says.

"Aye, but the dehydration causes the body to shut down."

Sheppard nods. "I gotta cut down on my coffee."

"Only if you drink twenty cups a day, Colonel. One of these tablets equals two cups of coffee." He looks at Ronon. "How many did you see her take?"

"Two."

"Four cups of coffee?" Sheppard raises his brows. "I'd be agitated for hours." He holds up a finger. "There's something familiar about this…it's on the tip of my tongue."

"What happens if you don't sleep?" Ronon asks.

"Oh, boy," Beckett starts. "Your whole body starts to go haywire. The brain needs that time to recuperate. Rational thought goes out the window, jumpiness, paranoia can set in… not to mention becoming one hell of a cheeky bastard."

Off Ronon's confused glance, Sheppard adds: "Not such a nice person."

Ronon nods. "That explains a lot."

Beckett's brows rise. "How's that-"

"What's happening?" A soft voice comes from behind the curtain. "Where am I?" Beckett pulls the curtain aside, revealing a seemingly alert Jax. The nurse changed her into infirmary garb. She tries to sit up, but the doctor places a hand on her shoulder.

"Relax, lass. You need to stay here."

"No." Jax twists her shoulder, pulling away from Dr. Beckett and swinging her legs over the left side of the bed. "I have to go." Her feet hit the floor and just as quickly as she stands, she starts falling forward. Ronon and Sheppard move in at the same time, each getting a hold of one arm and keeping her standing. "Let me go!"

"Get her on the bed," Beckett tells them, stepping aside. Ronon picks her up and lays her down, but she's up and off the other side of the bed in another moment. She leans on a monitor to keep herself upright. "It's not safe!" Sheppard goes to that side and blocks her escape.

"She's hallucinating badly," Beckett says. "Get her lying down, Colonel." He rushes passed Ronon toward the back.

"Jax," Sheppard reaches for her and she backs up a couple jerky steps, bumping the monitor aside.

"Get away!" She steps away from the bed only to pull at the tube attached to the inside of her left arm. Jax glances down at it, quickly ripping it out of her arm, spilling blood everywhere.

"Carson!" Sheppard calls. "Jax, we're trying to help you," Sheppard says calmly, taking a step closer.

"You need to calm down," Ronon adds.

"Yeah, what he said," Sheppard motions to Ronon and Jax's eyes follow. Sheppard takes the opportunity to move closer, but she sidesteps further away from the bed.

"Don't…." she holds out her arms, blood pumping from the open wound. "I promise…I won't say anything."

"Carson!"

"Coming. Just-" he sees the blood on her arm and shirt. "She pulled out her I.V.?"

"Sheppard..." Ronon warns, but it's too late, Jax lunges forward, plowing her shoulder into Sheppard's stomach and sending them both flying to the floor. She lands on top of him and tries to scramble away but Ronon's behind her, and easily picks her up around the waist. She kicks and flails at him, but never connects.

"You okay, Colonel?" Beckett asks as Sheppard gets up.

"Fine."

"Let me in there, son. I've got a sedative."

"NO!" she screams, lashing out with more energy and hitting Beckett hard enough in the face to knock him back a couple steps with a painfilled groan. Her other fist slams down, hitting Ronon in the crotch and he instantly loses his grip on her and she squirms away, crawling under a nearby table.

Folded over, Ronon pulls his gun, set on stun, but Sheppard raises his hands. "No." Sheppard goes down on one knee in front of the table. "Jax…" Her eyes bounce around the room, taking in everything, but seeing nothing it seems. She's shaking violently and breathing in rasps. "We're not going to hurt you. I promise."

She's crouched down on the balls of her feet, fists on her knees, eyes darting everywhere. Sheppard keeps his voice steady, trying to calm her. "Jax, I need to you come out of there, so we can help you."

"Sheppard," Ronon growls, still trying to set aside the pain. "Use her real name."

The Colonel glances up at Ronon then nods. He turns back to Jax. "Maggie-"

"No," Ronon says. "Her _real_ name."

This time Sheppard nods without looking up. "Angela?" She turns to him, her face pale and filled with fear. She narrows her gaze and tilts her head. Her eyes widen in surprise. "Ryan?" Tentatively, she reaches for him but pulls back and pushes herself farther under the table. "Nononono…who are you?"

Sheppard glances at Beckett, raising his brows in question. Beckett shrugs. "Try it."

He turns back to Jax. "It's me, Angela. Look at my eyes. It's Ryan. I'm here." She looks at him for a long time before that soft smile hits her. "I'm not going to let anyone hurt you. But you need to come out from there." When she doesn't react, Sheppard quietly adds: "You're not safe under there."

This time, when she reaches for him, Sheppard takes her hand. She allows him to pull her out from under the table. He helps her stand up, getting a firm grip on both her upper arms. She smiles, gazing into his eyes, "Ryan?" then cups his face, smearing blood on his cheek. Her eyes go wide at the sight of red and her mouth opens as if to scream but nothing comes out.

"Any time, doc," Sheppard says and Beckett's plunging the needle into her upper arm. She wrenches away from Sheppard's grip, grabbing at the spot.

Jax is back instantly. The defiance, the steely eyes. No fear. Just rage. "What the hell was that!" She backs up a wobbly step.

"Just a mild sedative, lass. To help you sleep."

"No." Her eyes go wide with anger. "You bastard!" She launches herself at Beckett, but Ronon's faster, he catches her just before her legs buckle. He lifts her easily in both arms and carries her back to the bed. Her eyes are still open but glassy. As he lays her down, she grabs a handfull of his hair and pulls hard "Ronon!" She growls. "Don't make me sleep."

"You don't have a choice now, Jax."

Her grip fails as her body gives in to the drug and her hand slips from his hair. Still, she's fighting to keep her eyes open. "Ronon…" The icy façade melts from her gaze, leaving her completely defenseless. "Please," she sighs.

He knows that must have been the hardest thing she's ever had to say to anyone…especially him. But there's nothing he can do for her. And she knows it. "Sorry."

Her eyelids grow heavy, but she keeps them open as long as she can. Her body trembles and a soft cry escapes as she finally succumbs to the drug. Tears flow over her temples and into her hair.

"Wow," Sheppard exhales hard. "That was…different."

"To say the least," Beckett agrees. "Okay. I've got to get the arm cleaned up and start a fresh IV. But first things first. Janet." He calls to the back. "We need the restraints for this one." He turns back to Sheppard and Ronon. "Just in case."

Sheppard runs his hand through his hair. "I'm not doubting you there, doc." He looks at Ronon. "She's feisty. And surprisingly strong."

Ronon looks down at Jax. Her face looks peaceful, but he knows it's just another mask. "That she is."

"Now that we know what caused this, I see no reason to keep you lads here. You need to get cleaned up too, Colonel. No worries about pathogens, though. Everyone here's been checked and triple checked. So, off with ya both."

"I'm staying," Ronon says. Both Sheppard and Beckett look at him.

"She's gonna be asleep for hours, Ronon," Beckett says. "She won't even know you're here."

"She won't care either," Ronon says dryly. He cocks his head. "Will she dream?"

Beckett nods. "I don't see why not. Sometimes sedatives can lead to very vivid dreams."

Ronon grabs her hand, linking his fingers through hers. "Then I'm staying."

Sheppard groans, rubbing the back of his neck. The thought that's been plaguing him has finally surfaced. "That's why she took the pills."

"What's that, Colonel?" Beckett asks.

"_Nightmare on Elm Street_, doc."

"I'm not following you."

Sheppard moves to the foot of the bed. "She's been taking the stims so she won't dream."

"No," Ronon says, looking down at her. "So she won't remember."


	11. Chapter 11

11

She thrashes her legs, and twists against the restraints for several minutes at a time. She gnashes her teeth or groans deep in her chest. Sometimes she whimpers. Sometimes she screams. He tries to calm her to no avail, but Ronon knows she's fighting her demons…surviving. So that's good. It's the times she lays there motionless and cries silently that disturb him the most. He's afraid she's given up.

This is one of those times. He squeezes her hand, trying to let her know she is not alone, but she doesn't seem to notice. Tears stream from her eyes. Her fever is still raging, pulling sweat from her body, drenching her clothes and hair.

Dr. Beckett comes up behind him and injects something into the IV now connected to her inner right arm. "More sedative?"

"No lad. Electrolytes." He's about to explain but Ronon holds up a hand to stop him. Beckett smoothes damp hair away from her forehead. "She's in REM sleep now."

"She's not fighting anymore," he says sadly.

"She can't right now. Her body's paralyzed. Even though we dream in all stages, this one's the most vivid, like little movies but we don't have any muscle control. When she's talking or moving…that's the deepest level of sleep. Less images, more emotion. So the studies say."

Ronon shakes his head. This is exactly what she was trying to avoid. The immobility…the helplessness. The images she can't fight.

He remembers those feelings. That's why he had to forget Nally. Pushed her memory deep down. Seeing the Wraith take her, feed on her and being unable to stop it. He'd been powerless to defend her…to save her. He turned that helpless feeling into rage against the Wraith. It sustained him for many years before he became a runner.

Jax doesn't have that luxury. As she said…she can't blame the Wraith. So she blames herself. _I kill them._ Ronon's certain she didn't mean by her own hand. She means that they die because of her. Because of what she saw, what she remembers.

"Get down!" she shouts suddenly, jarring both men. Beckett ducks slightly, looking overhead. She's thrashing her legs against the ankle bands again as if running. Her arms try to come up, but the bands around her wrists hold her down. "Ryan!" She screams then a painfilled gasp escapes and she starts sobbing, shaking her head. "Nonono..."

She jerks up suddenly, gripping Ronon's hand. She turns, looking directly at him, tears streaming down her cheeks, wet eyes on fire. "I will kill you!" Then she falls back agianst the bed, eyes closed but legs still kicking.

"What was that?" Beckett asks, stunned.

"That," Ronon says, feeling a slight smile tug at his mouth. "Is a Runner."

* * *

Ronon feels pressure on his shoulder and opens his eyes. He fell asleep in his chair, still holding Jax's hand. Tilting his head, he sees Sheppard standing behind him. "Morning sunshine?" Ronon grimaces. Sheppard lifts his chin toward Jax. "How is she?"

"Tied up, it seems," Jax says harshly. Ronon looks over, seeing her staring at them. She narrows her gaze on him. "Something tells me it was your idea."

"Nope," Sheppard comes to his defense. "But it wasn't a bad one."

She tries to sit up but a serious of pained expression cross her face, she closes her eyes and lies back down with a groan. "Who's the guy with the bongos?" Ronon raises a brow, glances at Sheppard then looks back at Jax. She sighs heavily as she looks at him. "Okay, you gotta learn some colloquials." She looks around the room, getting her bearings, still a bit drowsy. "What happened?"

"You don't remember?" Sheppard moves to the foot of the bed, his hands behind his back.

Jax closes her eyes and her brow wrinkles. "No." She glances at her shirt. "Why am I all sticky?"

"That would be the fever, lass," Beckett says as he comes over. He presses the little machine into her ear and it beeps. "Which is broken now, thankfully." He starts undoing her wrist strap, motioning to Ronon to follow suit. He pulls his hand free of hers, not that she seems to notice and undoes the belt on the cuff.

Jax locks her eyes on the doctor, her brow wrinkling again. "Dr. Beckett?"

"Yes, love."

"Why do I want to hit you?"

Beckett's eyes widen and his fingers stop moving on the restraint. He glances at Sheppard, who shrugs. "Um…the doc had to give you a shot last night," Sheppard says. "You didn't like it so much."

"Hmm. Okay then." Seeing that she is completely calm, Beckett finishes releasing her left hand. She rubs her wrists as the doctor takes off the ankles restraints. "Someone gonna fill me in?"

"That would be nice," Dr. Weir says from the doorway. All eyes turn to her and she smiles with that familiar I'm-the-boss grin.

Jax looks at Beckett again. "Well?" He takes out the bottle of caffeine pills and shows it to her. That blank expression Ronon is so used to covers any emotion she may be having. "Oh."

"I think we need to have a chat, love."

Jax shrugs a shoulder. "How 'bout if I just say…'oops'. And 'sorry'. And 'I'll never do it again'."

"Sorry?" Dr. Weir steps over to the bed, standing next to Sheppard and the Colonel stands up straighter. "I don't think that's going to cut it, Maggie."

At the mention of the first name, Jax's dangerous glare falls on Dr. Weir, but only for a brief second before she drops her eyes to her hands. "It's all I have."

Dr. Weir glances at Sheppard, Ronon then Beckett before sighing and going to the other side of the bed. She places her hand on Jax's, but the young woman pulls away instantly. Dr. Weir raises her brows. "I'd like you to see to Dr. Heightmeyer."

"They're caffeine tabs. I didn't try to kill myself."

"No one's saying you did," Sheppard's grin falters.

"Nevertheless," Dr. Weir says. "I want you to see her."

"Fine."

The answer came out too quickly and easily for Ronon to buy, let alone Dr. Weir. Her eyes narrow and that one brow rises in suspicion. "And talk to her."

Jax looks up, matching Dr. Weir's gaze. "I can't do that."

"Yes, you can."

Jax keeps her eyes and voice steady. "No."

Ronon, Sheppard and Beckett all shuffle uncomfortably in the presence of two opposed, but equally strong women. Dr. Weir may be the boss, but Jax is not one to back down easily, as they all witnessed last night. They stare at each other for a long moment and it's Dr. Weir who finally breaks the hold. She looks to Dr. Beckett. "How is she?"

"I'll need to keep her here for another day at least."

"Good," Dr. Weir says then looks down at Jax. "I'll send Dr. Heightmeyer to you."

"Won't help," Jax says sourly.

Dr. Weir bristles. "Look, I'm not-"

"Omega-nine-two-two." Jax says, locking onto Dr. Weir's gaze again.

Ronon has never seen the Atlantis leader flustered before, but this clearly does it. Whatever the term means, it's left Dr. Weir speechless. She crosses her arms, and sniffs, raising her chin. Then, without breaking contact with Jax, she says: "Gentlemen. Please leave."

"Elizabeth…"

She sharply turns to Sheppard. "Now."

Sheppard nods. "Yes, ma'am." He motions to Ronon and Beckett and they follow him into the corridor. The door closes.

"What the heck is Omega-nine-two-two?" Beckett asks as soon as they are alone.

Sheppard leans against the wall. "I don't know. Which means only one thing. Military classified."

Ronon glances at him. "Her brother."

Sheppard nods. "Or the feds. Maybe it was part of the deal to pull her out of protection to save his life."

"What are you two babbling about?"

"Sorry Carson. Wouldn't tell you even if I knew for certain."

"Well that's just bloody lovely."

Dr. Weir comes out of the infirmary, her eyes slightly moist, but she's smiling softly. "Colonel," she sniffs. "I'd appreciate it if your team could complete that mission I requested."

"Really?" Sheppard asks.

She nods, still smiling. "But remember. It's still a secret." Her eyes shift to the side as if she's about to look over her shoulder but decides not to. "From everyone."

"Okay then." He slaps Ronon's shoulder. "You up for it?"

Ronon cracks his neck, rolls his shoulders. "Yeah. Let's go."

Sheppard taps his headset. "Teyla, McKay. This is Sheppard. Prepare for departure in one hour."

Dr. Weir's smile increases. "Thank you."

Sheppard bows his head. "You know me. Always hoping to increase morale."


	12. Chapter 12

12

Ronon opens his door, knowing she's waiting. She glances around nervously, her thumbs bouncing off each other as she pulls at the hem of her shirt. "Jax."

"Ronon." She doesn't look him in the eyes this time, something he's not used to. He's come to expect her forceful, challenging stare. He misses it.

He leans against the door frame, crossing his arms. "Would you like to come in?"

"No."

He never expected she would, but felt the need to be polite considering she spent a second night in the infirmary and Dr. Beckett found it necessary to sedate and restrain her again. Unfortunately after scouting five separate planets searching for Dr. Weir's frozen lake, Ronon had been too exhausted to stay by her side.

The past three nights, she's been in conditional lock down in her quarters, meaning her door was locked from the outside and a guard posted. Prior to that, Dr. Beckett had her room searched for any stimulants. He found three full boxes of caffeine tabs and confiscated them.

The rumors started immediately and Ronon finally understands why Sheppard dislikes them. Many soldiers have made comments that Jax tried to kill herself with sleeping pills or that she went crazy when someone refused her advances. Another one stated she'd eaten some of the Athosian food and had a bad reaction. He has yet to hear anyone speak of the truth.

"I…I wa-" Her eyes bounce from the floor to him then away just as quickly. She looks down the corridor as she talks to him, finally gaining some control over her voice. "I wanted to thank you. Dr. Beckett told me how you and Colonel Sheppard took care of me. That I would have died…if you hadn't found me…when you did."

"Don't mention it."

Her gaze darts to his then away. "Okay then." And she shuffles down the hall and he sees a small red bag hanging from her shoulder.

Ronon leans out his door. "Jax." She stops, but doesn't turn around. "Tell me about Ryan." Her head hangs and her shoulders slouch but only for a moment.

She rolls her shoulders back and lifts her head, turns gracefully and glides over to him. The ice shield firmly in place when she does meet his gaze. "I'm going to practice. If you want information, I will supply it…but only once. Afterward, you must tell me about Nally. Then we'll never speak of either again."

"Deal." He follows her down the corridor to the nearest transporter.

* * *

The three targets are still in place from the previous time. Jax opens her small bag and pulls out the 9mm handgun and three extra clips. "Doesn't Col. Sheppard notice this is missing?" 

"It's mine."

"They let you bring personal artilery?"

She puts on the goggles, clicks off the safety and takes aim. "They let _me_." She fires several rounds into the center mass of the first target. After a moment, she turns her stance so her body falls into a straight line, drops one hand and takes aim again. "Wanna know how he died?" And she shoots, one bullet, center of the forehead.

Ronon knew she could hit dead center, but seeing it done so coolly, skillfully, makes his gut tighten.

Jax clicks on the safety and sets the gun on the table. "Why he died. You're looking at. Why they all die."

"Because of what you saw."

"No." She pulls four daggers from the bag, sliding them from leather sheaths and takes up a position in front of the second target.

"Because." She throws the first knife, but not at the target, at the wall behind it. The knife slices through the paper in an instant at center mass, the paper is thin and her strength behind the throw impressive enough that the target does not slow the weapon upon penetration, it merely splits and lets the dagger pass. The blade lodges into the wall.

"I." She throws the second knife with the same precision.

"Lived." Third knife flies and sticks.

Still holding the forth knife, she faces him, twirling it in her hand as well as Teyla. "You won't understand this but I'll give it a shot. On Earth there are these things called banks where people keep a lot of money."

"Eight years ago, my parents were trying to get a loan to help me. I needed money for something special…for my dream to happen and they were willing to put everything on the line for their 1998 Olympic hopeful."

Her eyes harden. "Then these four men came in, wearing masks, carrying guns. Everyone knows you get down, shut up and let them do what they want so you don't die."

"And you didn't."

"Of course I did. I may be a bitch, but I'm not an idiot. The problem was…I caught sight of one of the men. Saw his eyes…and I recognized him."

"How?"

She huffs and rolls her eyes. "He was my boyfriend, Tony." The fourth knife whips from her hand, whooshing through the air, ripping the third target from it's place and tacking it to the wall, the dagger in the center of the face. She turns to him again. "He also happened to be a cop…along with his other robbing buddies."

"Silly me…I got good looks at all of their eyes. For someone else," she shrugs, "wouldn't have been a big deal. Except I knew I'd seen them all before. I could recognize each one even with a mask on. And then they saw me. And they just knew."

"One of them shot my parents right in front of me," tears well up in her eyes. "Just because he could." She sniffs and blinks the tears away. "Then Tony came right up to me, whispered into my ear and shot me point blank in the chest." Her hand slaps to the spot where the scar should have been.

"I lived, obviously. Just barely. And the D.A. ordered me to testify or go to jail." Ronon's shocked by that and Jax grins viciously. "Told you mankind sucks." She grabs up three new targets and replaces the used ones. "So once I successfully picked all four out of four different line ups…everyone wearing the same masks by the way…I'm put infront of the grand jury and they go to trial."

"Ryan was assigned to protect me. They called him my handler. He was a nice guy, with lots of fighting skills and a kick-ass gin player. They hid me all over the place out of state, in state…until I had to testify. It took two years for the first trial. Another three before the appeal. All the while I'm getting new names, new cities. They even took my dog away."

Ronon's going to ask what that is, but thinks better of it. She seems willing to talk, which is what Sheppard wants.

After they found out that Beckett had to sedate and restrain her for the second night, Sheppard came to Ronon and pretty much ordered him to be nice to Jax. Get her to open up if he could. And since Ronon's not from Earth, there's no 'security clearance' issues messing everything up. Sheppard's sure that's the only way she'll get past her demons. He called it PTSD and tried to explain to Ronon what that meant, then waved his hand and said, "Never mind."

"They wouldn't let me do anything I used to do," Jax continues. "I couldn't have a job. Couldn't go anywhere without three agents watching me. I couldn't go to the bathroom in a public place unless it was checked out first."

She shakes her head. "I spent most of my time in my bedroom, in the dark 'cause 'open windows are not safe'. It's not that the agents weren't friendly. They were professional. They knew better than to get attached 'cause at any minute I could get killed."

"But the men were imprisoned."

"Yeah, they made deals, pled out." She sniggers. "But…you do _not_ rat on the police anywhere. Ever. Because cops have friends. And bad cops…have even worse friends."

She swallows hard. "Ryan let me use his laptop once. I was on it for hours. Decided to see if I could find any of my friends on-line…using a fake name of course." She licks her lips. "Turns out…my best friend…since 6th grade," the tears appear quickly this time and drip down her cheeks. "Had a mysterious car-jacking…two days after I testifed for the grand jury." Her eyes lock onto his. "Shot in the head. Once."

"Just like Ryan?"

Her eyes close and the tears spill down. She hangs her head. "They were always changing agents on me. But he stayed. He brought me books, all kinds, and once I read something, I learn it, so he became my ginnea pig for haircuts, massages, aerobics. He rented the movies I liked…listened to the same music." She giggles softly. "He secretly took me ice skating…because he knew how much I missed it. How much had been stolen from me."

She lifts the gun and takes aim. "After the first two years of sitting on my ass, I asked him to train me in weapons. Defensive tactics. So he did. He said I was a natural." She fires off eight rounds.

"One day about two years ago, we get this urgent message and I'm shuffled off to the nearest military base. Next thing I know…I've got a brother. Major Charles Montgomery, US Air Force." She grins at Ronon. "Charlie." The smile fades. "We had the same father, but my dad never knew about him. Anyway, he was sick and I had nothing better to do, so I ponied up the bone marrow, easy as you please. He got better and we live happily ever after. For about sixteen months."

Ronon waits as she fires off two more rounds at the target then switches clips. "They kept it all hushed-up about the donor thing. The military likes keeping secrets when it comes to their soldiers getting sick. So I was set up in an apartment and we were allowed to see each other, get to know each other." She giggles. "Oh, God. His fiance was the best! I so loved her. We talked for hours about nothing…and everything. I hadn't realized how much I missed having a girlfriend…a best friend."

"She even tried to play matchmaker for me. She knew I had a monster crush on Ryan. Not that I would ever do anything about it, I wasn't going to screw that up. But Lily was pushy and she swore he felt the same way about me."

"Did he?"

She looks down at the weapon and a tear hits her hand. "I don't know. I can only hope he knew how I felt and that he was happy about it. We were at a picnic, living a normal life again. Lily has a huge family. Ryan was smiling…" She sniffs, rubbing her arm across her eyes, then shakes her head and takes a deep breath. "They killed him. Right in front of me. Long range rifle, one shot to the forehead."

After a moment, she catches Ronon's gaze, that heartless smile returns. "See…I'm no good to them dead. Not now." She takes aim on the last target and fires even after the gun is empty. Ronon gently pulls the weapon from her hand and sets it on the table.

Jax goes to the targets and yanks them down one at a time. "After that, I declined protection. Why bother, they obviously could find me when and where they wanted. So I'd had enough. Charlie backed me, even though he knew he was at more risk than I was. But the military didn't like one of their best being in danger that they didn't place him in, so off to Spain he's whisked." She yanks the knives from the wall.

Sighing, she slips the knives into the sheaths then shoves everything into the red bag. "But he wanted me to be safe. He made a deal with Gen. O'Neill—he's a bigwig, but a nice man—got me on the short list for Atlantis." She catches his gaze again. "The end."

Ronon doesn't know what to do. He wants to wrap his arms around her and hug her close, but at the same time, he thinks asking her for permission would be a bad idea. He has several questions, mostly because he doesn't understand some of the terms she used, but understands the story as a whole. Basically, she's been hunted for sport, but if they actually killed her, the game would end, so they take what she loves instead, punishing her over and over, trying to break her.

For once, Ronon has more hatred for someone other than the Wraith. "Are they dead now? The men?"

"No. They went to prison for life. No possibility of parole." She looks at him again, this time the viscious smile returns. "But considering prisoners hate cops…that's not necessarily a bad thing." She raises her brow. "And Tony…was a pretty boy. He must have many friends by now."

"What did he whisper to you. Before he…" Ronon motions to her shoulder.

She huffs, shaking her head with annoyance. "Basically he told me I was no good in bed, only he was more…crude about it."

"I would like to hurt this man."

She wrinkles her brows. "It's not like he was right. I've got wicked skills." She narrows her eyes and tilts her head. "Then again…kinda out of practice. And if you don't use it, you lose it…so, maybe by now he's right." She speaks so matter-of-factly, Ronon wonders if they are talking about the same subject. "Any more questions?"

Ronon thinks for a moment then one comes to mind, but he's wondering how to ask it without making her aim the gun at him. "Why 'Jax' and not the first name?"

"They forced Maggie on me. Never liked that name…hated a girl in grade school, that was her name."

"And 'Jax'?"

She closes her eyes again and that soft smile appears briefly as she says: "Ryan Jaxson McGruder." She opens her eyes and a fresh tears drips from a lash. Jax packs up her bag and head for the door. "Time for my prison cell."

"Jax? What is…massages?"

This stops her and she slowly turns on her toes and faces him. Her brows raised high on her face, mouth open slightly. She cocks her head and pulls in her upper lip with her teeth then wrinkles her brow. After a long moment of staring at him, she says, "Come to my room tonight." Then she turns and leaves.


	13. Chapter 13

13

When Ronon arrives, his old shadow is outside Jax's door. He nods to Ronon and smirks. "So, the suicide thing works for you, huh?"

Ronon stares at the man. "What?"

He nods towards Jax's door. "Her little cry for help. It reeled you in."

"What was that, Seargent?" Sheppard calls from down the corridor. He comes right up in front of his soldier, staring the man down. "You know how I feel about rumors."

"Yes, sir."

"Then I suggest you stifle any notions you have about spreading some. And should you hear any, you will dismiss them as lies. Do you understand me?"

"Yes sir!" The Seargent salutes.

Sheppard turns sharply from the man and pulls Ronon aside for a private conversation. "So? What did you find out?"

"Everything." Sheppard raises his brows, waiting. Ronon smirks, shaking his head. "You know I can't tell you. You don't have…what did you call it? Security clearance."

Sheppard rolls his eyes and bares his teeth for a moment. "Crap. Since when do you listen to me?"

Ronon grins, slapping the Colonel on the shoulder. "Always…sir." He steps away then turns back and whispers. "What she's lived through…would have broken many men."

Sheppard bites his lip as he nods in understanding. Ronon goes back to Jax's door and the Seargent unlocks it.

Jax is waiting in front of the door, her hands on her hips, brow raised. "It may look like it, but I really don't have all night." She cocks her head. "I have to keep my strength up for all my fun-filled sleep hours." He catches the briefest glimmer of fear in her eyes, the same fear he saw in the infirmary, but then it's gone in a flash. The shield returns.

"Now," she moves aside and points to her bed that his covered in towels. "Get your ass over there, sit down, shut up and take off your shirt." She grins at that. Though for the first time, Ronon actually feels there is real humor in her smile.

He smiles in return, remembering the first time she said those words to him. He'd wanted to shoot her. Now he's willing to play along. "Couldn't wait to get me naked again, huh?" He says, stripping off his shirt and intentionally flexing his muscles.

She sighs. "Relax, Tarzan." She glances out the open door and he does the same, seeing Colonel Sheppard, who quickly shakes his head, clearly amused, then walks away. "You're not my type." She orders him to lay face down on the bed with his head nearest the door and his feet to the wall.

Though he's seen it from the door, he's never been in her room and it feels very small. There are no personal items, no trinkets or pictures of loved ones. The walls are bare as is the floor. There is a small desk with a chair next to the colored-glass window. In the center of the room with plenty of space on both sides, is the low, long, slim bed that everyone seems to have.

Jax's attire is generally different from that of the other females in the city, and she does't adorn herself with the metal chains or finger jewels as other women he's seen, so this must be an extension of her previous life…when everything had been taken away. Ronon feels like they are more alike every moment he's with her.

"You wanna watch?" she asks with a wicked sneer aimed at the Seargent. He grunts and closes the door. She smirks at Ronon. "Those guys are no fun."

Ronon lies down as she instructed, resting his cheek on the back of his hand as he looks at her. "Thought you liked Col. Sheppard."

"Sheppard's not one of them." She pulls a standard pillow off the chair and drops it to the floor, then grabs a bottle from her desk before kneeling by his side. Though she's small, the bed is low and she has plenty of room to maneuver.

He hears a sputtering noise as she squeezes the contents of the bottle out. He watches as she rubs the liquid over her hands. It's thick and makes strange noises, but smells nice. "What is that?"

"Tea Tree Gel. Very soothing." She places both hands on his lower back just above his trousers, a thumb on either side of his spine and presses gently, slowly pushing her hands up his back. The gel is slick and cool against his skin, but her hands are firm and warm. She continues this all the way up his back, staying near his spine the whole time until she reaches his neck. He notices she's particularly careful around his scar from the tracking device.

Ronon doesn't want to close his eyes, given that the last time she made him relax he dreamed of Nally, but as her hands move along his flesh with such precision, he is unable to stay alert. It's as if he's been given some drug. His senses are losing hold. The power she wields through her hands is amazing.

She could probably drive a man insane if she put these skills to use during other…activities. Ronon's gut churns at the thought. He knows why she affects him so easily, memories of Nally still fresh in his mind. As with her, he wants nothing more than to protect Jax and make her smile. She's beautiful, skilled and when she dances he doesn't want to be anywhere but in her presence.

And yet, he's not attracted to her.

He's been denying the fact for a while now. But there it is. Jax is everything a man could or should want and yet…he feels nothing for her romantically or physically. Probably a good thing considering how she looks at the Colonel. Ronon wouldn't find it difficult competing with Sheppard, especially when the man isn't even in the contest, but he wouldn't like it either. Not that it matters. Sheppard's eyes fall elsewhere. Even if he won't admit it. "Why did you say that?"

"Say what?" she asks softly.

"That Sheppard is not one of them."

"Because he's not. Most of the soldiers have a stick up their butt about something. Sheppard's easy going…but can still be a hard ass when necessary. He's…different." Ronon can hear the smile in her voice.

"Is that why you want him?" She moves to the other side of the bed and pulls his arm down so that it's by his side. He turns to watch her, resting his cheek on the bed, his other arm dangling to the side. She's blushing slightly. "Jax?"

"Who says I want him?" She plies her fingers into the muscles of his shoulder, moving in circles, releasing tension he didn't know he had. He feels something pop, not painfully or unpleasant even. She works that area until the pop is vanquished completely then she moves on.

"I do. And that smile you have only for him tells me all I need to know." Ronon doesn't know why, but he's finding it amusing to tease her about this. He wants to push her, make her blush more.

"I don't smile."

"You do for him. It's really sweet."

"Jealous?" She's trying to distract him from the topic, put him in the hot seat, but its not going to work.

"No. Because I've got a secret."

She moves around the bed again, this time working on his left shoulder. "No doubt you have many secrets, Ronon Dex."

"This is a big one."

"Really?" She presses firmly into his shoulder blade, finding the pop and working it into silence. "What's your secret."

"I'll tell you. If you tell me why you want him."

She sighs. "I don't want to start rumors." She shakes her head. "It's hard enough working here as is."

"No rumors. Just you and me." After a moment, he lifts his head briefly and catches her gaze. "Trust me." That flash of fear is there and gone again, but it's followed by a tiny twitch of her lips. "I already know about his eyes."

Her fingers stop moving and she sucks in a quick breath. "H…how do you…?"

"When you were sick. You said it." He rolls a bit, propping his head on his hand. "Is that the only reason? Because he reminds you-"

She holds up a hand. "Never mentioned again." Ronon nods a bit. She rolls her shoulders quickly, twists her neck from one side to the other. "And no. I consider that a bonus." She sighs. "And it's not the same."

"What do you mean?"

Another sigh, then she gets this gleam in her eyes. Something he hasn't seen before. "We were all in the gate room on Earth and in strolls this amazingly hot guy...I mean, scorch the eyeballs _hot_. And every woman there felt the temp rise by a hundred degrees." She smiles at the memory. "He's given these dirty looks by Col. Stick-up-his-butt and then this guy grins this cocky, sexy…unbelievebly…"

"Hot?"

"Yes!" She smiles bigger. "And there are these dimples from heaven."

Ronon sees the blush rising in her neck. She clears her throat. "And I remember thinking… that's it, that's what all the hub-bub is about. Love at first sight, or lust…whatever. Stick a fork in me."

"Why would I do that?"

She laughs and Ronon's heart pounds. He's never heard her laugh like that before. He likes it. "It's one of those colliquial things. An Earth saying. It just means I felt I was done looking for Mr. Right because Mr. Perfect had arrived …without ever knowing it." She looks at him sharply now, that ice wall in place, that defiant brow arching. "And he never will." He drops his arm and her gaze. "Ronon?"

"It's not my fault."

"What's 'not your fault'?"

Next thing he knows, she's got a handful of his hair in her fist and is pulling his face up from the bed. He growls and bares his teeth, but she doesn't back down. She never will. And that's what makes her so special. "He knows."

She releases him so quickly, his forehead hits his hand on the bed. She makes an unusual sound that he believes is a mixture of anger and embarrassment. "How? Did I babble in my delerium?"

"Not exactly."

She sits on his butt and drops her face into her hands. "Then what exactly?"

"I may have let it slip."

She drops one knee on either side of his waist and presses both thumbs into a tender spot on his lower back. "What did you say?" He chuckles. "Ronon?"

"Nothing really. But the man's not stupid. He managed to figure it out."

That isn't enough of an answer for her and she slowly increases the pressure on his back until an icy pain shoots down both his legs. Ronon tries to jerk but the pain is paralyzing. "What are you doing?" he growls.

"Tell me _exactly_ what you said."

Ronon feels his eyes rolling into the back of his head. He can't move his legs. "I said…that you were taken. By someone who doesn't see you."

The pressure eases up a bit. "Is that it?"

"I might have mentioned you like being invisible."

The pressure and pain disappears. Her hands are on his back again, soothing and relaxing. "Good boy."

"Where did you learn that?" He asks, looking over his shoulder at her.

"I read it in a book once."

"What book?"

She flashes the wicked grin. "Torture techniques. By the CIA."

"CIA?"

"Hmm…human version of the Wraith…no that would be the IRS." She remains where she is as she starts massaging his back again. "Guess they're just more of the suckiness that is mankind."

Ronon wrinkles his brow. He may have gotten Jax to open up a bit, but clearly, he hasn't learned everything about her yet. And he may not get the chance. "You ever do that again…and I _will_ shoot you."

Jax climbs off of him, her smile bigger than ever and she slaps his butt. "I trust you would."

She grabs the bottle and squeezes more gel into her hands. "Scooch forward. Drop your arms and let your head hang over the bed a bit." He does as she says and then she sits on the bed next to him. She lifts his hair and her fingers work into his spine again, this time at his neck. "I _so_ need a real massage table." After a moment of working his neck, she says, "What's your secret, Ronon?"

"Oh…" he lifts his head so he can look at her. "You're not my type either." He grins.

Jax sneers at him then slaps his butt hard. "Tell me something I don't know."

"Teyla and McKay are going at it in a closet somewhere as we speak."

"No!" she gasps.

"Probably not. But wouldn't it be terrifying if it was true?"

Jax laughs again and Ronon loves every moment of it.


	14. Chapter 14

14

Ronon walks through the Stargate with Teyla, returning from Belkan. He can hear Dr. Weir yelling in her office and looks up, seeing the object of her derision is none other than McKay. Seems as though the scientist has managed to blow something up. Ronon hopes he's not put in charge of clean up this time.

Teyla barely glances at him as they walk through the room. He shouldn't be surprised. She was truly upset and believes he used her. Which he did, though for a good reason. She did warn him not to tell the others what took place with Kel, but he finds himself heading straight for Jax's room.

He's disappointed when she doesn't answer.

He needs to bathe anyway, so he heads to his quarters instead.

* * *

Ronon's getting dressed when the door chimes. He opens his it, finding Sheppard looking slightly disturbed, being pushed from behind by Jax. "Mind if I…we…come in?" He asks as Jax gives him a gentle but effective shove. Ronon steps aside and they quickly slink in.

Jax glances over her shoulder, then taps the door closed. "That was close."

"What's happening?" Ronon pulls on his shirt.

Sheppard shoves his hands in his pockets and drop his gaze to the floor. "Oh…I'm…"

"He's hiding," Jax says with a smirk. She nudges Sheppard in the arm. "You're safe here. He's afraid of Ronon."

Ronon crosses his arms. "Who?"

"Dr. McKay," Jax says smiling slyly.

"Really?" Ronon looks over Sheppard before landing his gaze on Jax. Over the passed couple of weeks, he's seen subtle changes in her. She's more energetic. Her eyes seem to have a bit more gleam to them. She's not as shy around Sheppard as before. Mostly, thought, she laughs more easily when she and Ronon are together. Not a lot, but enough for now. Otherwise, she's the same tough, don't-touch-me woman he met months ago. But he likes the changes. "Something I should be concerned about?"

Sheppard drops into the desk chair and makes a face. "Not so much. He blew up a solar system."

Jax shakes her head. "Silly man." Sheppard darts his eyes to her, his expression a mingle of amusement and shock.

Ronon's brows shoot up. "Really? I figured it was more like one of those labs he's always talking about."

The Colonel bites his lip. "I was kinda there…"

"He helped him?"

Sheppard's defensive gaze lands on Ronon. "But only because he swore to me he could do it."

"Blow up a solar system?"

"No," he scowls. "Make the weapon work."

"Did he?"

"Yeah…but-"

"A bit too well, I'd say." Jax adds, grinning at Sheppard's embarrassment. She's enjoying his predicament quite a lot.

Sheppard scratches his head. "Eliz…Dr. Weir's pissed at both of us."

Ronon nods, understanding. "Ahh."

Jax claps her hands together. "Looks like I'm outta the dog house. Yes!" Her grin grows and she sticks her tongue between her teeth. "What?" She looks between the two men. "I can't be happy that I'm not the only screw up around here?" She sighs. "I got too wired on caffeine… not make a whole lotta planets go boom." She winks. "Keeps things in perspective."

Sheppard rolls his eyes and crosses his arms. "How was Belkan?"

"Hot."

"Hmm," Jax says, watching him wearily.

"What?"

She shrugs, raises that arched brow. "Well…you stayed overnight…with Teyla."

Sheppard narrows his gaze on Ronon. "Anything _I_ should be concerned about?"

Ronon glares at Jax. "No."

Sheppard's gaze bounces between Ronon and Jax then he claps his hands as he gets up. "Good. Wouldn't want anything to muss up the works." Sheppard checks his watch. "That should do it." He goes to the door.

"You're welcome," Jax says. Ronon notices she still doesn't meet Sheppard's gaze even as he smiles at her.

"Thank you, Jax." Then he opens the door and slips into the hallway.

Before the door closes, Ronon clearly makes out McKay calling to the Colonel. Jax laughs silently, shaking her head. "Another silly man." She claps her hands once. "I have news."

"What?"

"Remember I mentioned I needed a real massage table?" Ronon nods and she smiles. "I'm getting three. When the Daedalus returns. Dr. Beckett put in the request. Plus…since my classes or no more…"

"Classes?"

She makes a face. "Seems the ladies of Atlantis are…uncomfortable being around me now… since my unfortunate…mmm." She nods as she says, "overdose." Then she shrugs, not showing the slightest amount of insult. "At least it gets Sheppard off my back. You know, the whole 'dance show' thingy. Well, anyway. Since I now have one less activity to distract me, Dr. Beckett wants me to teach massage therapy to a couple of the nurses and any volunteers." She grins, moving closer. "Wanna volunteer?"

Ronon wrinkles his brow and backs up a step. "No."

"Party pooper." She crosses her arms. "You do realize you're pretty much the only person who talks to me these days. Without the usual preamble of the 'pity-stare' or the awkward glances for a quick get-a-way."

"I…didn't know."

She shrugs again. "No biggie. You know me…" She tilts her head. "Actually. You do know me." She chuckles. "You're the only one who really does."

"What about Dr. Weir?"

"She knows my code. It's a military thing from Gen. O'Neill. Means…she's stuck with me…no matter what."

"You can't go home."

Her eyes widen. "I am home." She lifts her chin and steps closer to him. Her eyes burrow into his. "What happened?"

Ronon shakes his head. "Don't know what you're talking about."

"I saw your face when Sheppard mentioned Belkan. And when I said Teyla…there you go."

"What?"

"You're eye twitched."

"Did not." She raises her brow again, staring at him, willing him into speech. It works. "I found out something."

"Okay."

"There are survivors from Setia."

"You're world?" She smiles and it even touches her eyes. "That's wonderful. How many?"

"Maybe 300."

Before he knows it, Jax wraps her arms around him, giving him a tremendous hug. "Oh, I'm so happy for you." But before he can react, she breaks away. "Sorry. I didn't…" She backs into the wall. "Sorry."

"Jax," he catches her eyes. "It's fine." Ronon sits on the bed, watching her carefully. She flashes a smile, but stays near the wall, almost to the door, crossing her arms.

After some silence, she tilts her head and catches his gaze full on. "There's something else."

"No."

"You're not as happy as you should be. What happened with Teyla?"

Teyla warned him but deep inside, Ronon wants to tell Jax. He wants to know that _she_ understands. So he tells her how he shot Kel in cold blood.

She's quiet for a long time, just watching him with those hard to read eyes. Her face as blank as usual. Then she says. "I'd be mad too." His heart sinks and he drops his gaze to the floor. Jax steps over to him. "Did he deserve it?"

"He deserved worse."

She sits on the bed next to him, her shoulder against his arm. "Too bad you couldn't have taken your time."

Ronon looks down at her, seeing that darkness in her eyes, that rage. "Teyla said you would not understand."

"Me? Or Earthlings in general."

He motions with his hand. "Everyone."

Jax nods. "She's probably right." She raises that brow again. "Then again…most of them have never known betrayal." She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "Ronon?"

"Yes."

"Could I give you a hug?"

Ronon nods, not sure he can talk around the lump in his throat. Her arms wrap around his middle and she rests her head against his chest. Ronon dares to drape his arm across her shoulders. She doesn't flinch or flee.

Very subtle changes. But wonderful changes nevertheless.


	15. Chapter 15

15

Jax is at her best when she likes what she's doing. Ronon watches the faces of the few 'students' she has in her massage class. They are as awed as he is. Her instructions are simple, step-by-step as in the dances she used to teach. If she aired music in the gym where she instructs these classes, Ronon would see her floating as before. He never truly noticed until now. Jax dances through life, even if she doesn't mean to.

The three nurses, one man and two women, know of Jax's infirmary visit. They witnessed her nightmares. They don't know the truth of Angela, but they understand her fears and do not judge her. Ronon believes this makes it easier for Jax to relate to them. Still, she's wearing a new mask, one specifically for interacting with others besides him. But it's a pleasant one.

Ronon wonders if this is what the true Angela was like prior to all the horror she witnessed. She smiles quite a bit, laughs easily and jokes with them as if they've been friends for years. Ronon knows it's a mask simply because the smiles do not touch her eyes—there's still the iciness in there; the lack of trust—and the laughter is far different than what she shares with him.

They've been spending much time together, even before she managed to pull him into the class as her 'massage dummy' whenever he is not off-world with Sheppard's team. She finds him after her mess hall shifts and he seeks her out whenever he returns from off-world trips.

Sheppard still teases him, says they're 'dating.' When he tells this to Jax, she giggles like…a girl…and slaps him lightly on the arm or chest. "Sheppard's such a doof." Off one of his confused looks she adds: "Silly, silly man."

People can talk but neither care for the rumors. They know the truth and that's all that matters. They are friends. But most importantly, they trust each other.

"He's just threatened by your overwhelming hottness," Ronon says back, using her words, and she laughs deep in her chest.

"If only." And then she teases him about his 'crush' on a certain Athosian woman.

Ronon would easily admit he has a physical attraction to Teyla, but he prefers denying it so that Jax can tease him more. They bicker and fight about who is more pathetic regarding their 'crushes'. One time it got so bad they ended up tussling in the gym.

Ronon easily pinned Jax to the floor only because he has size and strength on his side, but he learned a few 'tricks' about how women can subdue attackers on Earth. Some painful tricks, actually. One involving his smallest finger…the pinky. And once, Jax demonstrated how size doesn't matter…by flipping him over onto his back and placing her foot at his throat using what she called 'Judo'.

But they never truly hurt each other. He teases her and she teases back. Jax never asks to touch him now…she simply does. His arm, his knee…a hug. She doesn't flinch when he's around. He's permitted to hug her without asking. They share each other's space. Comfortable with one another.

Ronon had forgotten how wonderful being close to another person feels. Being in her presence lifts his mood, makes him feel like he belongs. Like Atlantis is home now.

She's taught him many things about Earth, though she knows he'll never see it…including how to read English. She called him a quick study, but it wasn't to different from Setia's written language. He enjoys the card games the most because she talks easily during those times. She speaks of Charlie and Lily with much love. And a place called Disneyland. Never of Ryan, though he can see her thinking of him when her shield fails on occasion.

They watch movies or TV shows on her computer…she has many of the DVD's so coveted by the Atlanteans. They are from her 'personal stash' as is her artillery; gifts from a fan, she says. There are two she watches over and over, _The Cutting Edge_ and _Ice Castles_ but refuses to share with him. They are her 'secret.'

"Probably porn," Sheppard said quickly one day after Ronon mentioned the secret movies though he couldn't remember the titles at the time. When Ronon asked about that, Sheppard's face turned bright red and he shook his head. "Instructional videos," he added, though without meeting Ronon's eyes. He didn't mention the conversation to Jax.

Ronon caught sight of one of the packages sent to her from Earth. It's rare when Jax looks happy. It's usually fleeting. But it does happen when she receives mail. It only comes from one person. Seems her fan is named GON. When he asked who that is, she smiled thinly and winked. "My secret admirer."

Hmm. Another secret. Ronon wonders if he'll ever know all of Jax's secrets. He hopes not. She keeps things interesting around here.

Starting class, Jax waves him over to the gurney—the tables have yet to arrive, something about red-tape—and has him lie face down as he's done many times before. He grumbles, sending deadly glares to the students, though he catches Jax's smirk. She know he enjoys a good massage. She's even managed to rope in the rest of the team as 'human props', as McKay calls them.

The scientist grumbles at much as Ronon about being forced into servitude, but Ronon has never seen McKay so gleeful than when it's his turn to take part. Neither Sheppard nor Teyla bother bemoaning the class. They clearly enjoy the relaxation offered by Jax's delicate but firm touch. Ronon even caught Sheppard napping through a massage one time.

She's drawing on his back again with her ink pen. It tickles and he enjoys it more than he should. She's pointing out specific muscles in the back, always complementing Ronon as being an 'exquisite specimen' or teaching tool.

The others each take a section as she stands aside, arms crossed, eyes watching. He catches her gaze and snarls at her. She simply grins then goes back to watching her students work.

The others have limited skills, but they are learning. The prize comes after the class is over and Jax gives him a full body massage from head to toe as payment for his time. Those are tough to stay alert through and he's given up trying. Even when he dreams of Nally, he manages to stay calm and relaxed. Jax has done that for him. Given him the chance to remember…in peace.

He wonders if he'll be able to repay her for it.

"I got some mail today," she says softly as she works her fingers into his neck. "From my secret admirer." Ronon moans, letting her know he's listening. "Wanna watch some of it with me tonight after I get out of the mess?"

"Have to go off-world tomorrow."

"C'mon, Ronon…it's not like you need a lot of sleep." He turns his head and sees her grinning at him. "It'll be short. I think the first episode is only forty minutes or something."

"Episode?"

"It's an old TV show. One of my favorites as a kid."

Something she liked as a child? Now he's intrigued. "Okay. But not too late."

"Deal." She finishes up and wipes the gel from her hands. "See you in five hours."

Ronon nods. He waits for her to leave before rising from the table and removing the towel from around his waist so he can get dressed. He learned early on that his 'lack of modesty' is a deterent from her ability to teach the class. She says even the male student gets distracted, for some reason she won't explain. So, she requires him to be covered in that 'strategic' area until everyone leaves, including her.

The same rule clearly applies to Teyla, McKay and Sheppard, though Ronon finds it amusing that when Sheppard is in the towel, Jax is reluctant to leave so quickly. And Sheppard is the one to blush at times, not Jax.

* * *

He meets her in her room near midnight. She's already showered and dressed for bed in her usual T-shirt and shorts. There's a box of cereal on the desk, her 'heart smart' snack food of choice and the large screen laptop set up on the chair at the foot of the bed.

They lean against the wall with pillows behind them. The bed is slim, but somehow they manage to fit comfortably, though they tend to overlap, with his arm behind her and Jax's head against his chest.

The show starts and Ronon sees the title explode onto the screen. _McGyver_. Jax giggles and the tinest tremor passes through her into him. "I can't believe he sent this to me. Soweeet!"

Now Ronon wants to know more about this secret admirer. What are his intentions toward Jax? How does he know so much about her? How does he make her happy even for a brief instance when she gets one of his packages.

If the mail came from Charlie, she would have told him instantly. But this person she keeps to herself, making Ronon feel uneasy. Still, the program is intriguing and he finds the lingering thoughts about Jax's admirer diminish as the images progress. The 'hero' of this show is particularly inventive.

Jax makes several remarks while they watch, but Ronon does not understand them. More 'slang' she says. "Doesn't Mac remind you of Sheppard?"

Ronon wrinkles his brows, considering the thought. "Not really. They look very different."

She taps his chest gently. "I know that. But he's just so…._SO_!" She looks up at him, her tired eyes full of joy he's never seen before. "You're a guy…you'll never understand." With a "Please" she gets him to watch one more episode only to have her fall asleep half way through.

Ronon slips out from under her and turns off the laptop, setting it on the desk. He sees the package the gift came in on the floor near the bed. Ronon looks at Jax, sleeping fitfully as usual. He knows he should go…leave it her secret. But he's wary of this admirer. What if _he_ suddenly hurts Jax's feelings. Ronon cannot permit that. He must know. He picks up the box and checks the outside label. It simply states:

To: Maggie Jackson, SGA

From: GON

Priority Mail.

CONFIDENTIAL.

He looks inside, finding a folded piece of paper and opens it. Though he feels slightly guilty, Ronon truly wants to know who this person is, so he reads the note.

_Angie,_

_Got your message. Trust Weir. You're secret's safe. C & L are expecting. Big smiles. _

_Be happy. _

_Love Jack._

Ronon feels the familiar protectiveness surge as he reads the last part. Love? Who is this Jack. Why has she not mentioned him before? Ronon will have to insist she tells him.

He watches her struggle in sleep, grumbling and restless as usual. Without the stims to keep her awake, she now works herself into exhaustion so she can rest for a few hours. She once mentioned that the best night of sleep she's had in eight years was after they stopped the Wraith from taking the city. She'd been too tired to dream.

He drops the note back in the package and sets the box in its original place by the bed. Returning to Jax's side, Ronon lifts her easily enough without waking her, slides his arm behind her once again and rests her head against his chest. He wraps his other arm around her as she struggles in her dreams and whispers into her ear that she's not alone.


	16. Chapter 16

16

Jax is waiting at the top of the stairs in the Gate Room as they return. Ronon sees her easily enough; her eyes are full of worry as Sheppard is instructed by Dr. Beckett to get on the waiting gurney. Though she no longer works in the infirmary, she must have heard about Sheppard's injury from others. She seems transfixed as the Colonel is wheeled away, and doesn't notice as Ronon comes up the stairs to her side. He touches her shoulder and she jerks away. Then she looks at him and grins, a little embarrassed. "Is he all right?"

"He got bit by…something."

She looks him squarely in the eyes. "Is he all right?"

Ronon nods. "It's Sheppard. He'll be fine."

She sighs and smiles with relief. "Sorry about last night. Falling asleep on you."

Ronon rubs her back, she doesn't flinch. "Best night's sleep I've had in a while."

She grins up at him, the shield missing. "Me too."

"Why don't we check on Sheppard?"

Her brows wrinkle and she pulls in her upper lip with her teeth. "Dr. Beckett won't let me in there…unless I'm sick." She bobs her head from side-to-side. "Besides. Like you said. It's Sheppard. He'll be out of there in no time." She turns to head down the corridor and Ronon follows. "Did you like the show last night?"

"Yes. It was…interesting."

"Good. 'Cause I've got the whole first season," she grins. "If you wanna watch."

Ronon chuckles. "I'll keep it in mind."

* * *

Ronon finds her in the gym punching and kicking the heavy bag with more force than he believed she possessed. The loud music slams into his brain, making it impossible to think clearly, but he's intrigued by her fighting technique. This must be something else Ryan taught her. Or she read a book on it once. Either way, Jax looks like a formidable opponent when she's enraged.

She's definitely not in a good mood. Though the bad ones are fewer now; that fire still burns deep inside. Though, lately, it takes something big to set her off. And there's something _big_ brewing in the city. Jax has never accosted anyone, besides Ronon, but he knows her glares could melt ice and they've made several of the soldiers clutch their side arms a bit tighter.

"What!" she snaps, jabbing hard at the bag.

"Been looking for you," he yells over the music.

"Busy." She kicks the bag with her right leg then punches with her left glove. The muscles in her abdomen, neck, arms and shoulders glisten with sweat and tremble with fatigue. She's been here long enough.

Ronon grabs the bag even as she lands another high kick. "You're done."

She slams her fist into it. "Not even close." Another punch. "Song's not over."

He notices she's moving in time with the heavy beat. Ronon continues holding the bag as she works out her frustration; it's in her eyes even with the icy shield in place. After the song ends, Jax waves a gloved hand in the air and turns off the system, leaving them in overwhelming silence.

Ronon almost forgot what it's like to be able to hear his own thoughts. Using her teeth, she opens the right glove enough to shake it off then pulls the left one free. There's blood on her knuckles. He grabs her wrists. "Enjoying the pain?"

She yanks her way out of his grip and glares at him. "Yes, actually."

Ronon crosses his arms. "They're still working on it. Dr. Beckett's going to cure him."

"You can't _know_ that." She grabs a bottle of water and squirts it into her mouth, her eyes never leaving his.

"It's not your fault, Jax."

She throws the bottle at him. "I know that! The universe doesn't revolve around me! I'm not an idiot."

"Then stop acting guilty."

She screams then, a low guttural roar: "Fuuuuck!" If everything wasn't so serious, if he didn't know why she feels this way, he would laugh. But he knows her too well by now. She blames herself simply because it's the only way she knows. Someone she cares about may die.

She's said it often enough, she's doesn't love Sheppard. She can't because she really doesn't know him—and she doesn't do that sort of thing anymore. She likes him because he's so pretty. But no matter what, she believes she's cursed him because she likes him. Believes she's cursed everyone on Atlantis…especially Ronon. Usually when she's in these dark moods, he's able to pull her back out. Make her see reason. "Jax-"

"Ronon, this is Teyla." The call comes over his headset.

"Yes."

"We are leaving for the planet in ten minutes."

"On my way." Jax is watching him carefully. "We're going to help him. I promise."

On his way out he hears her mutter. "Nobody keeps promises to me." And Ronon swears he's going to do exactly as he said.

* * *

Upon returning from the planet having lost two of their team, Ronon tries to find Jax, but only half-heartedly. He isn't in the mood to deal with her. Sometimes she needs to be on her own and so does he. Right now is one of those times. He knows his feelings of guilt and helplessness would only combine with hers, probably driving them into a screaming match about who feels worse followed by blows.

Instead he chooses to go to the mess then heads to his room. The alert comes in just as the door to his quarters opens. He rushes to the Control Room.

Sheppard's on the loose.

* * *

"_Bravo Team your on deck. Our tango is on the floor right below you." Col. Caldwell says over the radio as Ronon, Teyla and three soldiers head down the corridor hunting for Col. Sheppard._

The Colonel broke free of his guards less than twenty minutes ago and is now running lose in the city. Ronon wonders how much of Sheppard is still within the body.

"_You heard the man, down the stairs," the point guard says, readying the Wraith stunner._

Ronon's following but sees something out of the corner of his eye and darts left into an adjacent corridor. Teyla calls to him, but he's already on the move and can't turn back.

His heart nearly stops.

Jax's red bag is on the floor.

Ronon recognized the corridor as soon as they stepped off the transporter. Part of Sheppard must have felt fairly secure coming down here…where no one was supposed to be.

Not three feet from the red bag is Jax, slumped against the wall, unconscious. Ronon kneels in front of her. There's blood on her neck. Feeling for a pulse, he sighs with relief. "Jax?"

Her eyes open. "Ronon?"

"You're awake."

"Playing dead." She sits up slowly, in obvious pain. He sees one of her daggers securely in her hand. "Oh…oww…now I need a massage."

"What happened?"

Her eyes roll, unable to focus. "Wrong place…wrong place…again." She leans against the wall, closing her eyes. "I was on my way back. He came out of the transporter." She touches her throat. "Grabbed me…dragged me over here. I hit the wall hard." Her mouth twists with disgust and she wipes her sleeve across her cheek. "He licked me."

"He could've killed you."

She shakes her head, only to instantly regret it. "No. He wanted something…worse."

"What could be worse." Her drowsy eyes hold his and her brows arch. Ronon growls and sets his gun to fire.

"I'm all right…something stopped him. He didn't hurt me…well, more than knocking my brain around a bit." Ronon's about to get up when Jax grabs his arm. "He's still in there, Ronon."

"Not anymore."

Her arm drops and she mumbles wearily. "He can't die…not because of me." She blinks, trying to stay awake. "Promise me."

Ronon growls again then sighs, switching to stun. "I promise." He touches her shoulder. "Stay here."

"Not a problem." Her eyes close.

Ronon goes back to the outer corridor. He can hear the others below. He goes right, taking up a different post. Gun fire. Lots of gun fire. Then Sheppard runs by him and he shoots twice, stunning the Colonel who drops face first to the floor. "_Get the doctor down here," he says into the radio. "I have him."_

Teyla sighs then jumps when Jax appears behind her. "Jax!"

She waves the other woman off. "I'm fine." And steps closer to Ronon, looking down on Sheppard.

"You're bleeding," Teyla says.

Jax doesn't seem to hear her. She's staring intently at the Colonel, her eyes glassy, voice raspy and her speech slurring a little. She tilts her head. "I know he's all icky…but…is it wrong that I still find him fantastically hot?"

Teyla and Ronon look at each other, then at Jax.

She catches them staring and wrinkles her brow. "Suppose it could just be the massive head trauma." Then she drops forward and Ronon catches her with one arm.

* * *

Ronon looks up from Jax as Dr. Beckett approaches the bed. "How is she?"

"A couple of contusions on her neck. She has a concussion, but no swelling or skull fractures. Plus you found her awake and mostly alert, which is a good thing. The head lac wasn't so bad…just messy. And I've tested her blood…no sign of the virus."

Ronon sighs with relief. "And Sheppard?"

Beckett shakes his head. "In a coma. He's not in any pain."

"You're sure there's nothing we can do. I can try to go-"

Beckett shakes his head. "You saw how quickly those bugs moved, son. Nobody is that fast. Even you. Now, the lass is going to wake up when she's good and ready. I'll let you know when she does. Why don't you get some rest."

Ronon nods and heads out, plagued by the image of Jax slumped on the floor. He was ready to kill Sheppard for hurting her, or almost hurting her _worse_. But then she would have had legitimate reason to blame herself and Ronon couldn't let her live with that. Not Sheppard's death. Even if she doesn't feel the same way about him that she did for Ryan…she feels something. And that means everything.


	17. Chapter 17

17

Ronon helps Jax down the hall and into her quarters. She's still woozy from the concussion, though now completely awake, though limping slightly, having sprained her ankle during the run-in with the _Bugman_ as she refers to him. Not to mention the bruises on her back from being slammed into the wall. She's stiff and sore, but as always, Jax is fine.

She refuses to consider that Sheppard had any part in her attack. In fact, she's convinced Ronon that Sheppard actually saved her from the Bugman. He left her before Bravo Team emerged from the transporter, so part of the Colonel knew to stop before it got out-of-hand…or more out-of-hand.

Her rye humor on the subject, however, makes Ronon's stomach clench. It started after she woke up in the infirmary yesterday. "Out of everyone, it picked me as a possible mate? At least I'm guessing that's what it had in mind…you never know with men…especially bug men. They're a bit hard to read. What with the reptile like eyes and all. Suppose I should be…flattered." She didn't say it loud enough for anyone other than Ronon to hear. She didn't want anyone else to know…at all.

Especially Sheppard.

It's been two days since Dr. Beckett gave Sheppard the cure he concocted. Everyone's waiting patiently for the Colonel to recover, but none so much as Jax. Ronon wonders if seeing him getting healthy will change her opinion about the alleged curse she swears she brought down on everyone here.

In the meantime, Dr. Beckett has ordered something called a bubble bath followed by bed rest. Jax swears someone owes her a massage, but Ronon knows she's not going to ask anyone simply because she doesn't trust people to touch her.

Waving a hand over the control crystal, Ronon opens her door and leads her to the bed where she sits. She kicks off her shoes, lies back and crosses her arm over her eyes. "Okay, that's enough exercise for the day."

"C'mon, Jax. Thought you had more stamina that that?"

She peeks out from under her arm. "That is not a discussion I ever plan on having with you."

Ronon smirks, feeling a bit of red in his cheeks. "Dr. Beckett wants you to have a bubble bath. What is that exactly?"

"A bath with bubbles," she says wearily. She pulls herself up with much effort, though without a sound, then sighs. "I don't have any."

"Any what?"

"Bubbles." She frowns. "Not much of a girl, I'm afraid." Ronon's brows crease and she laughs. "Well I've got the parts! Just not the whole," she waves her hand in a circle. "Necessary _stuff_ that goes with it."

He shakes his head. "I'll never understand females."

She laughs harder which then makes her grab her head in pain. "Stop it. You're going to kill me." Jax points to the bathroom. "Could you fill the tub…nice and hot." Ronon disappears into the bathroom.

According to Sheppard, the Ancients were very advanced in everything, including bathing. The large, long tub not only has temperature control that keeps the water at the specified degree for as long as the occupant wants, but it also has a fiber that cushions the user if they lie back. Very different from what he calls Earth crap.

Ronon checks the display on the wall after turning on the water. "How hot do you want it?"

After a moment, Jax calls: "101 should be good. And hit the bottom left button to turn on the Jacuzzi."

Ronon doesn't know that word, but as soon as he presses the button the water starts churning in the tub. He leaves the bath to rise; it has a sensor so that it will not overflow. The Ancients were truly geniuses according to Sheppard.

When he steps into her bedroom, Jax is slouching forward, probing her swollen ankle and grumbling. "That's a good two weeks without dance. Fuckin' Bugman!"

"Would you really have done it?" Ronon asks, leaning against the door frame.

Jax looks up sharply at him. "Done _it_?"

"Stabbed him. With your dagger."

She sighs, chuckling slightly. "Oh…that." She catches his gaze. "I really don't know." She sighs again. "Probably. If it made me."

The chimes jingle at the door. "Yeah." Jax says.

The door slides open and Teyla appears. "Hope I am not interrupting anything."

"Nope," Jax smiles through her pain. "How's he doing?"

Teyla smiles and Ronon catches a glimmer of understanding in her eyes. She must know how Jax feels, but she doesn't let on. "Col. Sheppard is doing well. Still unconscious, but Dr. Beckett said that is to be expected." Teyla holds out a bottle of green liquid toward Jax. "Dr. Weir heard of your medical instructions. She wondered if you would enjoy this."

Jax takes the bottle and opens the top, sniffing the contents. "Wow. That's nice." She hands the bottle to Ronon. "Very girlie," she says.

Ronon smells it but does not recognize the scent. It is very…female however. "Is this bubbles?"

Teyla smiles. "I was informed as such." She looks at Jax. "Dr. Weir also mentioned the use of candles. Do you require such things?"

Jax smiles softly, dropping her gaze to the floor. "Not really. But thanks." She catches Teyla's gaze. "And thank Dr. Weir for me too, please. I promise not to use it all." Teyla nods then heads out.

Ronon squeezes some of the green liquid into the tub and watches as foam begins to form. He scoops up some in his hand and rubs it through his fingers. Just soap. Nothing special. As the tub continues to fill, the aroma circulates and he takes a deep breath. Okay, that's different. He leaves the bottle on the counter and passes by Jax, still sitting on her bed. "I believe it's ready. So, I'll go to," Ronon says.

"Wait." Ronon turns in time to see her wince. Then her brows wrinkle in frustration and a deep blush creeps up her neck. She closes her eyes tightly. "I need help." She drops her face into her hands. "I can't move." She looks up at him with such helplessness. "Could you carry me into the bathroom?"

Ronon's brows shoot up. "Uh…Jax. Aren't you supposed to…undress first?"

"Generally." She catches her upper lip with her teeth. "But…you know…not to eager to try right now." She pulls at the hem of her white infirmary scrubs. "I say. Just plop me into the tub, clothes and all."

Ronon sees she's not joking so he does exactly as she asks. He scoops her up and carries in then sets her into the tub. She sits and leans back, fully clothed, bubbles pillowing around her. "Ohhh…that's nice." She closes her eyes and smiles softly. "Thanks Tarzan."

He chuckles and shakes his head. "You're welcome, Cheetah."

Her eyes pop open. "What?"

Ronon grins. "Sheppard told me to say that. If you ever called me Tarzan again."

Jax grunts. "Good thing I didn't know that before."

"Why?"

She closes her eyes again, settling into the water. "'cause then I _definitely_ would have stabbed him."

Ronon smirks as he heads out, not believing her for a second. He looks back once, seeing peace settle over her features and leaves her to enjoy it.

* * *

He had planned to stop by after dinner in the mess, only to be distracted by Teyla who asked him to spar with her. They worked out for nearly two hours and by then, Ronon figured it was too late to bother Jax, she should be sleeping per doctor's orders.

But something pulls him to her room anyway. A little nagging in the back of his mind that she might still need his help. He keys his way into the room after knocking twice, expecting her to be in bed. "Jax?" A minute amount of light comes through the colored glass window to the left of the bed, leaving most of the room pitch black. Ronon touches the crystal that turns on the lights, keeping them dim just in case. She's not in the bed.

He steps inside, leans through the bathroom door and sees her figure in the darkness. She's sound asleep in the tub, one arm hanging over the side, dripping water onto the floor. From the light behind him, he can see that the bubbles have long since dissipated. And there's a pile of white, her scrubs, next to the tub surrounded by a puddle of water. "Jax?"

"Hmm?" she answers drowsily.

"Are you all right?"

"Notwls," she mumbles.

It takes a moment for him to understand what she said. He then turns back into the bedroom and searches through her closet. He finds two large towels in the side slot and pulls them out. Given the circumstances, he's pretty sure Jax won't kill him for what he's about to…see.

Pulling down the blanket and top sheet from her bed, he lays one towel out then takes the other back into the bathroom and sets it on the counter.

"Jax. Can you get up?"

"Nvrbttr," she sighs, not opening her eyes.

Ronon takes that as a no. He looks over the control panel and hits the button that drains the tub. It doesn't take long for the water to dissipate. Jax rolls onto her side, bringing up her knees and wrapping her arms around herself. "C..cc..old," she mumbles.

Ronon drapes the towel over her, being careful not to look…too much. He lifts her up, wrapping the towel better in the process. He's amazed by how light she is in his arms, and carries her into the other room. He lays her face down on the other towel and proceeds to dry her off as quickly as possible.

For the first time he sees the second scar he knew she had, but always managed to hide. Just like the one on her chest, it has been surgically altered, but even in the dim light of the bedroom, he can see the tell-tale outline. He traces a finger over it, sending a shiver through her back. Ronon pulls his hand away and continues drying her off.

As he wipes the water from her back, he's careful of her bruises that are worse than he expected. They go up her spine from the mid back and into her shoulders. Sheppard…no Bugman, really did a good job slamming her into that wall. He's surprised nothing is broken. No wonder she's so stiff and sore. Or was. The bath seems to have had the desired effect, leaving her limp and pliable in his hands as he tends to her.

He's never seen Jax so relaxed before when not unconscious because of a head injury. Even under the influence of the sedative in the infirmary, she hadn't relinquished this much control. She's always full of energy, especially when she sleeps. Seeing her like this, helpless, sends a shudder down his spine. If he wasn't seeing it for himself, he never would believe it.

Ronon pulls the sheet and blanket up to her shoulders then rolls her toward him so he can retrieve the towel he placed on the bed earlier. She turns her head on the pillow and sinks deeper under the covers. Ronon sweeps a stray curl behind her ear then kisses her forehead. "Betr notv luked."

Her words barely form as they slip out in her sleep, but Ronon understands and chuckles. "Not too much," he says, patting her covered shoulder before turning out the lights and leaving.


	18. Chapter 18

18

Ronon sees Sheppard coming down the corridor away from the gym. He's slouching, rubbing the back of his head and seems to be deep in thought. Perhaps Teyla whacked him around a bit, though it seems too early considering it's only been two weeks since he was given the cure. "Colonel," Ronon says coming up to the man.

"Hey, Ronon."

"Where are you headed?"

He motions toward the end of the long hall where the transporter is. "Kinda hungry actually. Thinking about the mess. You?"

"Same." Ronon looks the man over, having never seen him in these kinds of clothes. He not only looks different, but Ronon doesn't see the Colonel when he's dressed this way. He sees…Sheppard. Just some guy out for a walk. "How are you today?"

"According to Beckett, I'm 100% John Sheppard," he says, lifting his chin and wrinkling his brows. "Been making the rounds…the apologies. You just missed Teyla."

Ronon nods. "Saw her. She seemed…distracted."

"Hmm."

"Apologies?"

He sighs, stuffing both hands into his pockets and rocking on his feet. "Yeah. Kinda had some time to remember what happened when I wasn't myself."

"Right. So am I next on your list?"

"You?" Sheppard's eyes widen. "You shot me!"

Ronon bobs his head and smirks, watching Sheppard from under his brows. "Twice."

Sheppard nods and heads down the corridor again. "Yeah. Guess I had it coming."

Ronon grunts. "More than you know."

Sheppard stops and looks pointedly at him, narrowing his gaze. "Okay, I'm still fuzzy on quite a bit of what happened—barely remember attacking Elizabeth. But I'm sure I didn't do anything to you."

Ronon's about to blurt it out, but backtracks instantly remembering how much Jax doesn't want Sheppard to know about her encounter with Bugman. "I'm saying…in general. You did whack a couple of the men pretty hard."

Sheppard nods again; flashes of guilt and embarrassment color his face. Then he lifts his gaze and smirks a little. "Kinda miss the power though…you know?"

"Understanding. Who wouldn't?"

They're nearing the end of the corridor when high-pitched keening or shrieking comes their way. Before they can react, Lt. Laura Cadman races around the right hand corner and plows squarely into Sheppard on Ronon's left. She bumps into him and backs off giggling like a child, clutching her hand to her mouth.

"Lieutenant?" Sheppard asks in his usual 'what's-going-on' manner.

Before she answers, Laura ducks left towards the wall as a red ball flies through the air, missing her and hitting Sheppard square in the chest, exploding all over him in a spray of water. Both Ronon and Sheppard look down at the man's now soaking shirt. Sheppard blinks repeatedly, not even removing his hands from his pants pockets. He seems…stunned.

Ronon looks up seeing Jax's at the corner, eyes wide. "Whooops!" Her dark blue T-shirt and her sweat pants are also dripping with water. But more amazing is the fact that she's giggling just like the Lieutenant. Her wild eyes glisten with laughter. She's holding another one of those water bombs in her hand and eyeing Laura intently.

The Lieutenant raises her hands in defense, but not soon enough. Jax throws the bomb, hitting the other woman in the head, and water sprays everywhere, even onto Ronon, leaving Laura squealing with laughter.

"Hoo-ra!" Jax hollers and does a strange jerking dance without music that makes Ronon chuckle.

Sheppard pulls at his shirt front, the water making it flap loudly as he shakes it. Ronon can clearly see the smirk that Sheppard is struggling to hide. "What the hell is going on soldier?"

Lt. Cadman takes a step back, trying to stand up straight, but wobbling in her boots. "Sir…" she sputters then glances back at Jax and starts laughing again. She bends forward, clutching her side and nearly falls, forcing Ronon to step up and grab hold of her. Her hands grip his forearms, her touch warm and tingly on his flesh. "Whoa…you're all kinds of pretty, aren't you," she slurs. Then she's running her hands over his shirt. "Wanna show me your tree house, Tarzan?"

Suddenly, Jax is in front of them, giggling and smiling. She grabs hold of Laura's head, pulling her in for a whisper, something that Ronon can't hear, but makes the Lieutenant blush and giggle even more, then Laura says to him. "Call me Jane." Jax winks at Ronon, grinning and giggling again.

"Isn't your name Laura?" Ronon's confusion seems to fuel their laughter and they stumble over each other, falling backward onto the floor with thumps, Laura's legs tangling with Jax's which makes them laugh harder.

"Oh, oww," they chorus only to look at each other and start laughing hysterically again.

Sheppard nails Laura with his official Colonel voice. "Soldier. What's up with you two?"

Laura tries to sit up, but she's too tangled with Jax. "Don't you mean down, sir?" Then she sputters more laughter. Jax falls onto her back, giggling so hard her body shakes.

He's doing his best to be stern, but Ronon likes seeing Jax this way. Their laughter is almost contagious. Ronon looks to Sheppard. "Drunk?"

"That'd be my guess." He shakes out his shirt again. "Where'd they get water balloons?"

Laura raises her hand as she sits up, her legs in a V in front of her. "To the winner go the spoils, sir." She laughs again. "Girls' Poker night winner right here." She points to herself with both thumbs.

A moment later, she pulls small colorful pieces of what he assumes makes up the water bombs from her pocket, showing them to Sheppard with a grin that Ronon thinks only kids have. "Wanna play?" She tries to blow air into one but her cheeks nearly burst from the effort and it pops out of her mouth and hits the floor a few feet away. She gushes with laughter again.

Jax pushes Laura off her as she grabs the handful of the things—what did Sheppard call them? Water balloons—out of the soldier's hand and stuffs them down the front of her wet shirt. She gets up with her usual dancers grace, only to bump chest-to-chest into Sheppard.

Jax's eyes widen as she stares up at the man. Her hand roams down his slick shirt. "Wow," she sighs gleefully. "You're all muscle, Sheppard." She flashes a smile that makes Ronon worry for Sheppard's safety. "Weeeet…muscle," she drags out the word in a dangerous whisper. Her hand continues traveling lower and Sheppard doesn't seem to be in any hurry to stop her. In fact, he seems absolutely transfixed in the spot, his eyes on hers. Ronon grabs Jax's wrist, stopping her exploration. "Ronon…" She pouts, wrinkling her brows. "Party pooper." She yanks her hand away from him, placing it on Sheppard's chest again, fingering the top button until it pops free. "Ooh…look what I did." Sheppard gazes at her as if she's some of that chocolate the Atlantians enjoy so much.

"I think I've found them!" From around the corner the beautiful Dr. Katriana Morgan arrives, looking a bit weary and impatient. She taps her headset. "Yes, I have them." Ronon simply can't get enough of the doctor's voice. McKay told him she's English…though she does not speak the same way as the others who use the language. There is such a variety in these Earth women. His eyes travel to Lt. Cadman as she groans and gets to her feet.

"Mom's home." Jax glares at the doctor, maneuvering herself slightly behind Sheppard, though her fingers dip into his shirt where she released the button.

"Sorry, gentlemen." Dr. Morgan says in that wonderful accent.

Sheppard seems to shake off the spell Jax placed on him and he looks toward the young scientist. "What's happening?"

"Unfortunately Dr. McKay."

"What'd Rodney do now?"

"Sit and spin." Laura sputters with a laugh, and drops herself against Ronon, forcing him to steady her again by grabbing her elbows. She leans into him, wrapping an arm around his waist and resting her free hand on his chest. Again, his eyes leave Dr. Morgan for the lieutenant.

"Before reading the proper documentation, he had Jax activate a new Ancient device." She sighs. "And it appears to have 'infected' both women."

Sheppard's still raw to that word considering his recent ordeal. He steps closer to the doctor—forcing Jax's hand to drop, but he catches it in his—suddenly very protective. "Infected?"

"How?" Ronon can feel his attention being split between the dark-haired doctor and the soldier with the fiery eyes and flame red hair. Laura caresses her lips with her finger, her pink tongue darting out and licking the fingertip. Ronon swallows hard, pulling his gaze from hers.

"It's a small device, looks like a polished stone. Jax activated it when he asked but then proceeded to play hot potato with Lt. Cadman here…refusing to give the device back to Dr. McKay." She motions to both women. "And as you can see…it's left them somewhat giddy."

"And erotically charged," Laura growls, dipping her hand under Ronon's shirt; her touch sending sensational shocks of pleasure straight to his—

Ronon's worry alarm blares in his head, especially when he hears Jax moan in agreement and sees her nuzzling Sheppard's neck. Sheppard chuckles deep in his throat and only half-heartedly pushes her away. Ronon's about to take action when Sheppard finally gets separated from her. "Okay…" he points an authoritative finger. "Stop."

Jax bites her bottom lip and opens her eyes wide and innocent then that bottom lip is free, pouting like Ronon's never seen. "Uh…Sheppard?"

Before the man can react, a crooked little smile plays at Jax's lips and she grabs Sheppard by the back of the head and attacks his mouth with hers.

"Oh, bloody hell, Jax," Dr. Morgan groans.

"You go girl!" Laura cheers.

Sheppard's pretty much a lost cause as her fingers comb into his hair and his arms wrap around her, pulling Jax in tighter; but Ronon can't find a logical reason to come to the other man's rescue. Especially since Jax would probably want to kill him for the effort. In fact, Ronon's finding it difficult to not grab hold of Laura in the same manner.

"I think she wants him on her team." Laura cozies up to Ronon, caressing his face then running a finger down his arm. He can feel the heat of her body against his. The curve of her hip, the softness of full breasts. "You can be on me…" she giggles. "My team." And slaps his butt. Ronon grunts, thoroughly tempted to put Cadman in her place…or up against a wall. She smells _so_ good. And his hands seem to have a mind of their own, one roaming up her back and into that gorgeous hair, the other grasping her hand away from her mouth so he can feel her fingers with his.

Jax breaks the kiss, leaving Sheppard panting and her smiling wickedly. He clears his throat and looks to Dr. Morgan with creased brows. "How long is this supposed to last?" Ronon's not sure but he thinks Sheppard's hoping for a few hours…alone with Jax.

_What would Dr. Weir think?_ Ronon wonders…not that she ever seems to notice the poor man salivating after her. Ronon gives a mental laugh. Sheppard and Jax are exactly alike in that respect.

Sheppard's face turns serious with concern. "I mean…are they contagious?"

"Don't seem to be. They've come in contact with many people since escaping the lab. No one else has become-"

"Horny." Laura giggles.

"Overly playful." Dr. Morgan sighs again. "McKay's still trying to figure out what happened. Ladies. You need to return with me to the lab. Now."

"Ohhh…" they whine in unison.

Ronon's pretty sure he didn't join them in that. Pretty sure Sheppard didn't either. Poor Sheppard. The guy looks like he's been hit by lightning or something. His hair all wild from Jax's fingers, his mouth hanging open, and his eyes are probably picturing her without so much clothing. Ronon has to avert his gaze from Laura as the same thought plagues him. But when he looks to Dr. Morgan, she's no longer wearing much of anything either.

Jax draws a finger up over Sheppard's chest and moves slightly behind his left arm. She tugs at his ear lobe. "She's so…British, isn't she?" Then Sheppard jerks a bit, making Ronon turn—but wishing he hadn't—seeing Jax cupping Sheppard's butt. "All muscle," Jax moans. Then she makes a strange noise, something that Ronon can only describe as 'woof' and Sheppard turns slightly toward her and they lock eyes again.

Dr. Morgan seems at the end of her patience. "We need to get them confined…before… anything else happens."

"What happened?" Sheppard manages to turn back to the doctor, shaking his head as if to clear it of thoughts of Jax naked.

Laura and Jax giggle. Dr. Morgan tries to keep a stern face, but a hint of a smile slips out. "Once they dropped the device, but before we knew what effect it had on them, they grabbed some duct tape and proceeded to play…_Ring Around The Rosy_ with Dr. McKay's chair." The two women laugh again, this time louder. "While he was sitting in it."

"They taped McKay to a chair?" Sheppard asks and Dr. Morgan nods, still trying not to smile.

Ronon can't hold back the chuckle and he sees Sheppard's grin. "Really?" Ronon asks, looking down at Laura. Her lips are so full and wet. He simply wants to take her here and now. _Just do it! Push her into the wall and taste her. She wants you to!_ No… he looks away. Something's wrong with her. She's infected with something that's making her behave irrationally. He can't take advantage of that.

"Wow," Sheppard grins like a kid. "Can I see?"

He glances at Sheppard. He can't let him either. Though not caressing him any longer, Jax still hovers near the man, sniffing him. She slips his arm around her shoulders and plays with his fingers, bringing one to her mouth and nipping at it, Sheppard rubs the side of his face against her hair.

Jax obviously doesn't know what she's doing. Ronon has to stop her before it's too late.

But what if she does know…if he stops her, she'll never forgive him. She's wanted Sheppard for so long…and he seems to feel the same way right now.

Ronon doesn't know what to do. He wants to protect Jax. But he wants her to be happy as well.

"We already released him," Dr. Morgan says.

Laura and Jax groan. "Oh…why?"

"Because it was wrong of you to do that, ladies."

"But it was so fun," Jax says, stomping her foot.

"Not to mention, constructive," Laura adds.

Ronon wonders if Sheppard's been infected too even given the doctor's pronouncement that they're not contagious, it's still possible. Now three of them could be in trouble. Good thing he's able to keep his head. He'll have to look out for all of them. Laura's hands are on his chest again, moving in slow circles down his stomach. She's staring up at him with those gleaming, fiery eyes.

Jax stands on her toes and says something to Sheppard that makes him smirk and nod.

Dr. Morgan reaches for Jax. "Back off Britishney," she chuckles and so does Laura. "We're outta here." She grabs Laura's hand and they take off down the corridor as two security guards come at them. Laura pulls Jax to the right and they ditch the security by getting on the transporter.

Dr. Morgan grumbles. "Bloody hell! What took you men so long? We've been keeping them distracted waiting for you." She nods to Ronon and Sheppard. "Nicely done by the way."

Ronon raises his brows, glancing at Sheppard. Not so sure they had any say in the matter.

"No one said it was an emergency," one of the soldiers retorts.

Starting to lose her cool, Dr. Morgan glowers. "I have to do _everything_ myself! Go on then. Find out where they went." She narrows her gaze on Sheppard and Ronon. "Are you all right, gentlemen?"

Sheppard's hands are in his pockets and he's rocking on his feet. He raises a brow and nods to her. "Never better."

"Good. Like I said. Dr. McKay is working on it. Can't imagine what the Ancients were thinking making a device that turns someone instantly…well…playful like that."

Sheppard nods, pressing his lips together tight. "They are a mystery."

"Mad buggers if you ask me."

"And only Jax and Lt. Cadman have touched the device?" Sheppard asks.

"Well, Dr. McKay did as well, but he hasn't had any reaction. He's working on it, like I said." She goes to meet the security detail.

Ronon nudges Sheppard's arm. "Think they'll find 'em?"

"Nope." He glances up at Ronon. "Seriously…you and Jax. No attraction?"

"No."

"But she's so…There's something really wrong with you, man."

"Considering I've seen her naked. I guess so." Ronon starts toward the transporter. "What's the story with Cadman? Love that hair."

"She's got a thing for…" Sheppard follows a bit behind. "Wha…you saw Jax naked?"

"A little." Ronon feels his stomach flop and all his muscles tighten when he thinks about Laura. And now, he's getting a headache.

"Well?" Sheppard raises his brows. "Spill, how was it?"

"How was what?"

"Jax…naked."

Ronon grimaces, pressing his fingers against his temple. "I don't know…wrong."

Sheppard's brows crease, his fingers are grinding at his temples too. "What…she's…wrong?"

Ronon shakes his head then wishes he didn't. "No, man. Seeing her was…plain wrong. I tried not to look."

"Definitely something wrong with you, Ronon."

He shrugs then growls. "I wish I knew where she went."

"Jax?"

"Laura."

Sheppard nods, giving in to a full smile as he steps on the transporter. "I know where they're going to be."

* * *

Ronon drops his head against the infirmary pillow with a grumble. He's never known this kind of pain. And he's _known_ pain. It's as if he can feel the blood pumping through his brain and it wants to gush out of his eyes and ears. How did Jax put it after her first night in the infirmary several months ago…who's the man with the bongos? For some reason, though he doesn't know what bongos are…it feels appropriate.

His head didn't hurt this bad before. Not when he was around Laura.

Sheppard's straddling the gurney next to him and Laura and Jax are across the room. They're all under guard by nurses as they wait for Dr. Beckett to return with the test results. Dr. Weir made an appearance earlier and Ronon got the distinct impression the woman was laughing at all of them.

Laura's glaring at no one in particular and her hands are clutching her head as she leans forward in her sitting position. Jax looks a bit confused, though she has that well-established blank mask floating in and out. She's watching all three of them, as if assessing who to kill. It's a bit disconcerting when her gaze falls on Sheppard and a slight predatory smirk plays at her lips before the blank mask falls into place again.

The past five hours are pretty much a blur to all of them it seems.

…_They stepped onto the transporter and Sheppard pressed a section of the city. Then they're making good time toward the South pier, usually an hour's walk from the rest of the city. Strangely, the closer they got, the less Ronon's head hurt. When they made it three-quarters of the way, they found weapons waiting._

_A different kind of weapon, however. Ronon pressed a finger into the squishy skin of the water balloon. The women left each of them two in the middle of the corridor. Sheppard took the blue ones and Ronon the green. Clearly the women were baiting them into a hunt. Ronon could hear giggles echoing throughout the corridors as they each chose a target to track down. Ronon went looking for Laura while Sheppard searched out Jax…_

"Okay, here we go," Dr. Beckett says all too cheerfully as he enters.

Ronon sits up, grimacing against the pain in his head.

…_He hit Laura with one balloon, but missed with the other. Somehow she came around behind him and hit him twice: once in the back and then in the front as he turned to face her. "Tag, your it," she bounced with glee and ran off down the empty corridor, laughing. Ronon followed..._

"Good news. There's no infection. In fact, you're all perfectly healthy adults…except for elevated levels of certain brain chemicals."

Sheppard narrows his gaze at the doctor. "What chemicals?"

…_Searching for Laura, Ronon passed by a room where Sheppard had clearly cornered Jax, literally against a wall, his hands traveling upward to her…_

Beckett raises his brows. "Acetylcholine, phenyl ethylamine, nor epinephrine and dopamine." Ronon stares at the man, waiting for an explanation, as do the other three. "Would you like a break down, Colonel?"

Sheppard grimaces. "Please."

"Okay then. I hope no one here is too bashful—though given how you were…occupied when the search team found y'all, I doubt there's any need for that." He grins slyly. "Here goes. Acetylcholine is a neurotransmitter related to sexual performance and arousal. A surge of phenyl ethylamine in the limbic system gives feelings of bliss. Nor epinephrine mixed with dopamine and the phenyl ethylamine gives an overwhelming feeling of infatuation."

Ronon looks at the doctor from under his brows. "And that means?"

It's Laura who speak ups. "We were high on sex."

Beckett nods. "Arousal actually." He taps his headset. "Rodney you can come in now and explain how this is your fault."

The infirmary door swishes open and McKay enters, shoulders hunched, and carrying a laptop. He doesn't meet anyone's gaze, keeping his attention on the computer. "It's not my fault, Carson."

"Yes it is," Dr. Morgan states as she follows him inside. "It's entirely your fault."

"If it's anyone's…it's…" he points to Jax. "Hers." Jax raises that single brow and glares daggers at McKay, though he doesn't look up to catch them. "Not intentionally, of course."

"Just tell us what happened, Rodney," Sheppard says, trying to keep the edge out of his voice.

…_Ronon was falling. He followed Laura through a door, and she managed to drop him onto his back before he knew what was happening. Then she straddled him at the waist, her hands diving under his shirt. She's smiling and…_

"I've decoded some of the text regarding the device. Seems it was the Ancients' idea of Champagne at a wedding."

"What?" All four stare at him.

McKay starts talking fast. Almost too fast for Ronon's sore brain to keep up. "The device apparently was an ancient marital aid, given to women on their wedding night. It accesses part of the brain that releases chemicals that make them…"

"Erotically charged?" Jax asks when McKay stops.

"Yes." He glances at Dr. Morgan then back at his laptop. "It's not the only thing however."

Dr. Morgan speaks up. "Seems the Ancients also managed to find a way to increase the production and release of pheromones…both aerial and tactile."

"Pheromones?" Ronon asks even as Sheppard groans at the word.

Beckett nods. "Odorless chemical signals individuals release that affect the physiology or behavior of other members of the same species, most notably of opposing gender."

"They dramatically increase both desirability and sexual attractiveness in both men and women." Dr. Morgan adds.

"And the Ancients took it a step further." Sheppard nods in understanding.

"Aye. They incorporated it into the gene, Colonel, to heighten the…experience. Which would explain why…well, you and Jax were so easily afflicted, considering you both have natural control over the ATA."

"I don't have the gene," Ronon protests.

"No," Beckett nods. "But the device still managed to affect Lt. Cadman though with a lower level release of the chemicals, even though she too does not have the ATA gene. So…"

"It's a woman thing," Rodney says quickly.

"Excuse me?" Laura's eyes widen.

"The device was designed specifically with the double-x chromosome in mind, human or Atlantian. The woman activates the device, which increases her…"

"Arousal," Beckett supplies. "It's not a dirty word, Rodney."

"Anyway. As stated, it increases the woman's pheromones, including the ability to transfer them through touch. But what the chemical release also does, it increases the senses…so she can…"

"Sniff out her mate?" Sheppard says ruefully.

"Pretty much," McKay finishes.

Ronon remembers Jax's behavior around Sheppard. Everything he's hearing now makes perfect sense with her earlier actions.

"From what I've been able to decipher," Dr. Morgan speaks up. "By increasing the woman's desire for her mate and in turn his desire for her, it increased the likelihood of off-spring."

Jax and Laura exchange glances. "Ahh."

…_Ronon could see Laura leaning over him, pressing her body into his, her mouth so close all he had to do was—_

"_We've found them," Major Lorne said with a smirk and a shake of his head. _

"_Oh, crap," Laura said. "We were just getting to know each other." And she got up…_

Sheppard moves, making the gurney squeak. "So…why didn't anyone else get affected?" He looks at Dr. Morgan. "You said they ran into other people. I'm assuming other men…"

"You are correct."

"And you said it could be transmitted through touch," Sheppard continues.

"And Jax touched me," Ronon says. "No reaction."

"Thank God," Jax groans. Ronon nods agreement at that.

"But not everyone is attracted to the same scent," McKay snaps.

"He's right," Beckett adds. "The two individuals must already be attracted to each other for the chemical to…activate the libido."

…_Lorne led Ronon and Laura out into the corridor, finding Sheppard and Jax already waiting with Dr. Morgan, both looking a bit worse for wear, but holding hands…_

"Really?" Ronon looks pointedly at Sheppard who at least has the intelligence to lower his gaze as he chews on his lip. Then Ronon catches sight of Jax, her eyes wide with shock. She sees him and puts her shield into place.

Ronon raises his brows only to get more pounding for it. He groans against the pain again. "Well, the Ancients weren't too smart…leaving such a nasty price to pay. Can't imagine anyone wanting to use the thing."

"Don't worry, lad. The headache should dissipate in time. It's a build up of the chemicals, you see. It shouldn't be more than a day for your body to reabsorb them. That's if you stay away from Lt. Cadman." Beckett's tone has a touch of anger and a serious warning tinged in it. Ronon catches a slight smile from Laura towards Beckett.

The doctor continues. "That's why we're keeping you at a distance from the lass'. Otherwise the chemicals would continue to build…only to be stopped by…" Ronon notices the doctor's face turning pink.

"Consummation," Dr. Morgan adds stoically.

Sheppard bites his lip and rubs the back of his neck, looking at the ground. Ronon glances at Jax who's biting her upper lip. She catches him watching and quickly drops her head into her hands, as if it hurts. Ronon shakes his head, trying to hide a grin.

Sheppard looks all too guilty as well. _Him_, Ronon wants to pound into the ground…a couple hundred feet into the ground. He simply feels it's his duty…for Jax's honor. But at the same time…he can't help laughing at both of them.

Everyone looks at Ronon as if he's crazy, but he can't stop laughing.


	19. Chapter 19

19

In the mess, Ronon finds Jax sitting at a table with two other women—Lt. Cadman and a scientist he's seen on the Daedalus—eating breakfast and giggling. She sees him and waves him over. "Hey," she says, smiling. Ronon's surprised to see her having fun with other people, but when he looks in her eyes, he sees her shield firmly in place. At least she's getting out more. And he knows from experience that Jax has a wry sense of humor and is actually very personable when she wants to be, even while keeping all her secrets. It's good she's making friends.

It's been several days since the 'pheromone incident' as it's been named in the report and this is the first time Ronon's seen her _or_ Lt. Cadman. Dr. Beckett cleared all of them after the first day, saying their brains were back to normal. But Ronon thinks Jax has been avoiding him. "Hey," he responds. "How are you?"

She nods, chewing her food. "Good. You?"

"Better."

"Wanna join us?"

Ronon glances at Laura, seeing Lt. Cadman instead. She gives him a polite nothing-happened-we-can't-forget thin, professional smile. He grins back but shakes his head, glancing around for an escape, seeing Sheppard coming into the mess. "I'm meeting the Colonel." He shrugs. "Team stuff." Jax nods.

Sheppard walks behind Ronon, heading straight for the chow line without even a glance at the women. Ronon catches a fleeting look from Jax as her eyes follow Sheppard before she quickly diverts her attention to the bowl in front of her. Ronon's eager to have a man-to-man with the Colonel about how to treat women—or at least this one, considering what he _knows_ happened between them even if both refuse to admit it. He narrows his eyes after Sheppard. There may need to be some violence involved. Ronon turns back to Jax. "See you later?"

She grins up at him. "Yeah. Episode five, right?"

Ronon smiles and nods. "Okay." Then he heads for the line and slips in behind Sheppard. "Back in uniform, I see, Colonel."

"Yeah. Beckett just released me."

"So. I take it everything is back to normal."

"Well, as normal as it gets around here."

Ronon glances back at the women, but sees them walking out of the mess. "Okay," he says to Sheppard. "We need to talk."

"About what?"

As he fills his tray, Ronon leans toward Sheppard so that others won't hear. "What happened."

Sheppard looks at him. "Could you be more specific?"

Ronon rolls his eyes. "I could slam my fist into your head to spark your memory, if you'd prefer."

Sheppard's done filling his tray and turns to leave the line. "Do we have to do this here?"

"Why not?" Ronon follows him to a table and they sit across from each other. "Public place, keeps you safe…for now." He digs into his breakfast: scrambled eggs and bacon if he remembers correctly.

Sheppard dodges Ronon's gaze as he eats. "Look, I understand if you want to kick my ass-"

"You do?"

"But it's not gonna change anything. What happened was…out of all of our control." He finally looks at Ronon. "You're just pissed because you got caught with Cadman too soon and ended up with that nasty hangover headache."

Ronon munches on a piece of bacon, glaring at Sheppard. "No, I'm 'pissed' because of the way you just walked by Jax as if she doesn't exist."

Sheppard chokes on his breakfast, coughs and quickly looks around. "Jax is here?" He coughs again, his face turning red.

"Just left."

Sheppard turns back to Ronon, curling his upper lip and raising his brows in concern. "Did she see me do that?"

"Ah…yeah."

He presses his lips together tight, rubbing them then biting his bottom one. "Oh." His brows crease and his eyes narrow. "Crap."

Ronon continues eating, watching the other man carefully. "You didn't do it on purpose?"

He looks disgusted by the idea. "No." Then embarrassed. "I was…deep in thought as a matter of fact. About this whole," he waves his fork in a circle. "Situation."

Ronon leans back in his chair, crossing his arms. "And what were you thinking?"

"It's all jumbled up…I don't know." He leans in, whispering. "What do you think I should do?"

Ronon shrugs. "Talk to her."

Sheppard's eyes dart around quickly and he leans back shaking his head and chuckling uncomfortably. "Oh…no no no. I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Why not?"

"Well for one, from what you told me, _she_ might kick my ass."

Ronon narrows his eyes. Sheppard's worried, but not about Jax's temper. "You're lying."

"What?"

"You're afraid."

"Yeah…I just admitted that." He digs into his food again. "Truth be told…I'm not so good with women…one-on-one. Bad timing…foot chewing…it gets messy fast."

Ronon's mind conjures up some interesting images regarding Sheppard's last remark. What does he mean foot chewing? He shakes off the thought, probably another of those colloquial things Jax is always teasing him about. He might ask her though…

He grabs Sheppard's gaze. "You're afraid you'll be tempted into action again." Ronon leans on his elbows and digs into his eggs. Sheppard stops chewing, his fork motionless in mid-air, his gaze glued to his food. He doesn't seem to be breathing either. His face quickly turns several shades of red. He swallows hard. "Thought you didn't remember." Ronon raises a brow. "That good, huh?"

"…what?" He clears his throat, his face changing color again. "Yeah…wait a minute-" he looks pointedly at Ronon, arching both brows. "I'm not having this discussion with you. Beckett said it was the combination of the chemicals and the gene. There's nothing… left over."

"Sure. Keep telling yourself that. In the meantime, talk to Jax. She's not dangerous… unless you deserve it."

Sheppard shakes his head and leans in again, whispering. "What the hell am I supposed to say? 'Hey Jax, nice to see you. Funny bumping into you like this?'"

"Can we do it again sometime?" Sheppard glares at him, making Ronon laugh out loud. "You can't ignore it, Sheppard. You wanted her then…you want her again. Like you said…she's hot."

"Well, yeah…but-" He points his fork at Ronon. "That's…not what I'm thinking."

After a moment of silent eating, a thought pops into Ronon's head. He's really enjoying playing with this guy. Maybe he should up the ante. Force the Colonel to face his fears…one being the evil that is Jax, of course. He grins at the thought, watching Sheppard for a long time, letting him relax a little, thinking the conversation is over. Then, Ronon motions with his last piece of bacon. "Have you thought any about the reason the Ancient's made the device?" He chomps down on the meat.

The Colonel's brows knit in confusion then the dawn of understanding widens his terror-filled eyes as they lock onto Ronon's. "Oh God." His brows crease even tighter, Ronon's afraid they'll intersect. "She's…not…"

Ronon shrugs and raises his brows. "How'm I supposed to know? She's been avoiding me for days."

Sheppard starts shoveling food into his mouth. "Here's an idea. She's your friend. You talk to her."

"Is that your natural laziness showing, Sheppard? Or are you a coward?"

He nods, chewing quickly then shrugs. "Yeah…what? Neither." He raises his eyes. "Please?"

Ronon smirks. He never would've believed Sheppard could be afraid of someone…but here he is, terrified of a beautiful woman and all the evil powers she can wield over him. It's incredibly amusing. Then again, a lot of men in the city seem afraid of Jax, or at least…wary. And for good reason. But Ronon knows Sheppard has nothing to worry about. As far as Jax is concerned, Col. John Sheppard is a god among the lowly male mortals in this galaxy.

Ronon decides it'll be more fun to watch him squirm and chooses not to relay that particular piece of information. Might make the guy feel too good about himself. "I'll see what I can find out."

Sheppard grins with relief. "Good man."

"But, it'll cost you."

His eyes widen. "What?"

"I'll let you know," Ronon says as he gets up, taking his tray with him. He pats Sheppard hard on the back as he heads out.


	20. Chapter 20

20

It's after midnight when he gets to her room. He knocks twice then keys open the door. She's sitting at her desk looking over something on one of the flat data pads. "Hey," she says, not looking at him.

"Hey." He comes inside, seeing the laptop already set up for the showing and the pillows against the wall, waiting for them to relax. Ronon looks at her as he drops onto the bed; she's slouching over the pad and purposely keeping her face hidden from him. "You okay?"

She's quiet for a moment, then sniffs and turns off the pad before twisting in her chair. "Fine. You?"

"Good."

She smiles, but there's something different about it. She rarely keeps her icy shield in place when their together. After all, he knows her pretty well by now. But this look…this sadness is new. He's never seen it before and it makes his heart thump painfully. "What's wrong?" _Sheppard!_ Even if he didn't mean to, he hurt Jax deeply by ignoring her this morning. Ronon's going to have to take action…it's only right.

She shakes her head, getting up from the chair and sliding onto the bed next to him. "It's nothing."

"I don't believe you."

Jax scratches her forehead and even though she speaks softly, he hears the crack of emotion in her voice. "I…I remembered what day it is…back on Earth." She trembles slightly and sighs a soft chuckle. "I can't believe it's getting to me." She sniffs again. "I'm supposed to be…well, you know… unaffected. Stone cold."

"You try but do not always succeed."

"So much for years of training."

Ronon tries to see her eyes, but she's only showing him the side of her face. "What day is it?" Her hand floats to her chest, grazing the spot where the bullet wound used to be before traveling up to rub her neck. _Ahhh._ Her current state has nothing to do with Sheppard—looks like the Colonel won't be getting a beating after all—and everything to do with the day she was shot and almost died. The day her parents did die. Right before her eyes.

Again Ronon's mind goes straight to Nally. Watching as the Wraith slammed his hand against her chest and drained her light, her smile away. Even as she screamed, she refused to give away the family's location under the floor. They huddled together in the darkness, but Ronon could see through the wood slates. He wanted to break free, but they pulled him back. She sacrificed herself for all of them and they were not going to let that be in vain.

Ronon shakes off the memory. He'd much rather keep the images of her smiling face, her beautiful long, dark hair with the shell combs, her eyes that twinkled when she looked at him, even if she was cross with him. Nally's love, that's what he must remember.

That must be what Jax is trying to remember about her parents…they died trying to fulfill her dream. They loved her dearly. If she can't remember, he will make sure to remind her. He catches her wiping away a tear. She clears her throat. "Why so quiet?"

Ronon settles his chin on the top of her head. "No reason. What were you reading on the pad?"

"We got a data burst from theSGC. My…friend—"

"Secret admirer?" Though he knows the man's name now, Ronon doesn't think sharing that tidbit of information would be a particularly healthy maneuver.

"Yeah. He forwarded a message from Lily. I didn't even notice the date at first. Then it just hit me."

Ronon wraps both arms around her, pulling her tighter against him. She rests the side of her face against his chest as if listening to his heartbeat. "What was in the message?"

She giggles so quietly he would have missed it if her body didn't vibrate with it. "They're having a girl."

"How can they know this already?"

"Earth science if full of surprises." She turns her head so she can look up at his eyes. "They're naming her Angela." Her grin grows.

"After you."

She nods. "Isn't that sweet?"

"Yes." After a moment, Ronon says. "Do you get these messages often?"

"No. Gen…my admirer thinks it's too dangerous."

"But he sends you gifts."

"He's a nice guy." She narrows her gaze. "Though he can be a bit too guy-like sometimes. As long as I live, I'll never understand the humor of the _Simpsons_."

"Simpsons?"

She flicks a hand. "Some cartoon. TV show like that _Scooby-Doo_ I showed you. But…the _Simpsons_ is just…it's a guy thing." Sheppard's mentioned that term before. 'A guy thing' seems to be the explanation whenever men and women from Earth do not get along on a topic. She shakes her head. "I can't believe he sold his cabin."

"…his home?"

She sighs. "Yeah. He had some great property. Isolated, quiet, real green. I miss it sometimes."

"When were you there?"

"Before coming here. After they sent Charlie to Spain, the feds wanted to put me back in the system. But my brother made some kind of impression on…_him_. Never can tell what's gonna click with that guy, how he chooses who he cares about. He's an odd one, really. By looking at him, you'd think he's all brash, business. But he's a teddy bear underneath. He went out of his way to make me welcome and he didn't even know me, really. All because he liked Charlie."

"Well now he likes you too."

She nods. "We got to know each other pretty good." Jax grunts. "He's a horrible chess player. And I kick his ass at poker. But he can barbeque and he taught me how to fish." She glances up at him and smiles. "He's kinda like you in a way."

"Me?"

"Yeah. A serious pain in my ass. He refused to keep to himself. Always checked up on me. I mean, it was obvious he knew my deal. But, he liked to push. Finally, when I told him about my parents… it all came flooding back. I actually broke down in tears."

"You?"

She chuckles, looking away. "Scary, huh?" Her fingers pick at the hem of her shirt. "He hugged me—even though I fought him—he hugged me and wouldn't let me go. And I started bawling like a baby 'cause he smelled just like my dad." She sighs softly. "Same aftershave."

Ronon's quiet. He watches the computer screen, seeing the hero trying to fight off an evasion of bugs in the middle of a jungle.

"Fuckme!" she says suddenly and Ronon's eyes widen in shock until he realizes she's talking about the show. "Those ants just ate that guy alive!" She chuckles. "I totally don't remember that scene."

* * *

Somehow she convinces him to stay for the next episode because it's on the same disc. Ronon grumbles about needing sleep, but he really doesn't mind. He finds these times very relaxing and, in fact, he generally falls asleep faster after one of their 'show nights'. The last episode ended with a horrible flood that managed to wipe out the bugs and save the hero at the last moment.

Jax tells him that's usually how it works in these types of shows. The hero has to survive, otherwise, there'd be no show. "You know, around here…kinda seems like that sometimes," she adds.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, take Sheppard. He flies off on a suicide mission, only to be saved by the Daedalus showing up at the last minute. And then there's the city…McKay managed to get the shield up at just the right moment! Either someone up there," she points to the sky, "likes most everyone here—except maybe that pony-tailed prick." She glances at Ronon. "Have you met him? Nasty man." She waves a hand. "Like I was saying. There's either a guardian angel hiding out or Sheppard's got some sweet luck. You know?"

"Could be."

"What's wrong?" Jax tilts her head. Ronon wrinkles his brows at the question. "When I mention Sheppard you get all tense."

"No."

"Yes." She sits up and stares hard at him. "You talked to him." She tilts her head the other way. "Didn't you." Ronon shrugs. She sighs, shaking her head as though disappointed in his silence. "He's embarrassed, huh," she says in that matter-of-fact tone that gives away no emotion.

"What?"

"He's embarrassed it was me. What I did to him."

"What you did?"

She makes a strange face, her brows creasing and her mouth twisting into a lop-sided smirk. "Yeah. I was molesting the guy in the hallway." Ronon laughs and she slaps him on the chest. "What?"

"Is that all you remember?"

She nods side-to-side. "It's mostly fuzzy. Like I was drunk. Really…really drunk." Her eyes narrow. "I know I nailed Cadman with a balloon."

Ronon chuckles. "Yeah, then you did that little dance. What was that?"

She nods, grinning. "Oh, my victory dance. I remember." Her eyes widen and she sucks in a lungful of air. "Oh. My. God." Her mouth hangs open and if her eyes were any wider, they'd pop out of her head and hit the floor. "Did I squeeze his ass?"

"After you kissed him."

Mouth gaping she audibly sucks in more air then buries her face in her hands. "I didn't."

"As though the universe might end." Ronon grins. "Don't worry. He was not offended."

She peeks at him between her fingers. "Really?"

"Just as Dr. Beckett said. There had to be some attraction to begin with…the whole pheromone thing."

Her smile is small, but filled with delight. "That's true." Then her brows crease again and she looks down, talking to herself. "So what happened next." She chews on the inside of her cheek, thinking. "More balloons. No…transporter. Then balloons."

She gets off the bed in a huff. "Damn. Why can't I remember?" Hands on hips she turns and scowls at him. "It's not right, you know. The Ancients going all out of their way to make this… thing…and then forgetting that their people might actually want to remember what happened instead of just the _feelings_ of it."

"In the infirmary you looked like you knew…about you and Sheppard."

She rolls her eyes and her head to the side. "I… knew…in a way. But I didn't _know_—I mean, really know—until the doc mentioned the…" she waves her hand in the air. "You know, headache cure."

Ronon smirks. "Consummation?"

She rubs her neck, not meeting his gaze. "Yeah that."

"So what did you know…before you knew?"

A little smile raises the corners of her mouth and she blushes. "Feelings…" she shrugs and bites her upper lip. "Multiple…feelings."

Ronon doesn't understand, but whatever those 'feelings' were, Jax seems very happy about them. Her eyes glisten at the thought. "Love?"

She shakes her head quickly. "Ohgodno." She snorts a laugh. "Not emotion."

"I don't understand."

She pats him on the shoulder. "I'm not surprised."

"I don't think he's embarrassed it was you. I believe Sheppard's concerned about…well that he took advantage of you."

Her grin is broad and joyful. "Isn't that sweet! He is such…" she groans with pleasure. "Okay. I feel better. I just wish…"

"Yes?"

She wiggles a little in place. "That I could remember it all, considering it's the only time."

"Who knows…maybe not." Ronon grins slyly and Jax catches his gaze.

She points a warning finger. "Don't play with me, Dex. I'll kick your ass."

"You'll try and fail."

She whines a little. "Ohhh, spill. What'd he say about me?" Her eyes narrow again. "Ohgod, I sound like a teenager!" She waves a hand. "Whatthehell. Spill."

"He didn't say anything. But he is attracted to you…obviously." That makes her grin again. "But I don't think you should try molesting him in hallways any more."

She raises that single brow. "Worked well the first time."

Ronon laughs. After a moment, he remembers what he really needs to ask, even though he doesn't feel it's his place. "Have you…"

"What?"

"Spoken to the doctor about…what happened?"

"Nope. It'll just fuel the rumors. I didn't even tell Cadman and she was there."

Ronon shifts on the bed suddenly wanting to run from the room. "I'm just wondering… about the reason the Ancients made-"

"Oh…unsafe sex. I seriously doubt the man's got any…" she stops, watching him, seeing the confusion in his face. Something sparkles in her eyes and she nods: "Gotcha."

"Huh?"

"Don't worry your pretty head, sweetie." She kisses the top of his head. "No babies from this girl."

Ronon's still not comfortable but now he's intrigued. "How can you know?"

To his surprise Jax pulls down her sweatpants a little and exposes a small white scar in the middle of her lower stomach below her navel. "That's why." She pulls up her pants. "I had a little bit of surgery about five years into my government funded captivity."

"Surgery?"

She waves her hand. "No womb. All gone. Saved me tons on feminine products, not to mention never getting cramps again. Though I still get PMS, but I attribute that to the ovaries and…well, putting up with men's shit." Ronon stares at her, not understanding a word. She smiles. "I can't have babies. No worries."

"I'm…sorry."

Jax scoffs. "Please. I knew when I was twelve that I never wanted to get pregnant. Vomiting, swollen feet, stretch marks, bad back, excess hormones. Hell—that's what that is. Nine months of hell." She laughs, waving both her hands in the air. "No maternal instinct what-so-ever, here. And I'm nobody's roll model. Only like kids that will…go away. That's the great thing about this place, you know? No kids. Well, except for the ones on the mainland."

Ronon's never heard a woman speak this way. All he's ever known is that females strive to become mothers, raise strong families. He's even more disturbed by the fact that she's so happy about this. "You really…like this?"

"Hell yeah," She laughs. "I never had a ticking biological clock. My mother went nuts when I told her to stop giving me baby dolls to play mommy with. She kept telling me I'd change my mind…that someday…" She stops, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "Well. She didn't get to see that someday because it never came." She shakes her head. "I figured, who knows me better than me? Losing that annoying piece of monthly torture was the best decision of my life. Freeing actually. One less curse to deal with." She smirks.

Ronon watches her for any sign that she's not being completely truthful with him, but sees none. She truly believes that not having children is best. Ronon knew Jax still had mysteries hidden beneath the surface, but he never would have imagined something so…different. How could she not want to have children? It doesn't make sense. How else can people survive the Wraith?

He sees worry cross her features. "You okay, Ronon?" He's speechless. Deep down, he knew there had to be things about her that he wouldn't like, but something so…unnatural as… "Ronon?"

He shakes his head. "I don't understand…why?"

Her brows rise on her forehead. "You want my list of reasons? It's pretty long and kinda cynical."

"But with the Wraith…"

Jax's head rolls sideways: "Oh." She nods. "Okay. Where I come from, there are **a lot** of people. Too many, in fact, for the planet to accommodate. Now, I'm not altruistic, I did this strictly for myself. But women on Earth, for the most part, get to have sex just like men and decide whether or not to procreate—or at least they still could when I left."

She looks at him with concern. "And I just told you about the happy parents to be. Lily is going to be popping out the first of the next generation in about five or six months." Jax grins. "She's going to be a cool mom, that's for sure. And Charlie…very cool dad." She looks at Ronon squarely. "So, you see. There's never going to be a shortage of people on Earth."

"Unless the Wraith make it there."

"Yeah, well. There is that." He sees a flicker in her eyes. "Then again, if the Wraith could go? I'd pony up every single politician, religious official and power hungry megalomaniac to be first on their to-suck-dry list." Ronon believes she's joking…maybe.

She smiles at him. "Don't worry big guy. I'm sure you'll have plenty of opportunities for little rug-rats of your own. Who knows…maybe I'll even baby-sit." She looks at him sharply. "For an hour at most." She raises her eyes to the ceiling then looks at him again. "And only if they're sleeping." She grins and Ronon's quite sure she isn't joking this time.

They stare at each other for a long time. He can see the concern in her eyes. The worry that this is one too many secrets. That he sees her differently because she made this choice. Ronon's never been to Earth, can't really imagine a planet with too many people on it, let alone women who wish not to have children. But that's him. He knows they have differences, they have to…she's from a whole other galaxy, which is something he can't really contemplate. Her smile falters as she waits for him to say something. Ronon takes a deep breath. "No maternal instinct?"

"Not a drop."

Ronon nods, finding a small smile. "Sheppard will be relieved."

"I'm sure he will." She narrows her gaze again. "You don't think he'd find that enticing…never mind." She folds her arms, considering him. "You know if it had been Teyla instead of Cadman. You would've been worrying about the patter of little feet as well."

"You think so, huh?"

"Yeah, I'm psychic." She sits on the bed again. "Plus, whenever she looks at you… it's lusty."

"Lusty?"

"C'mon. You're hot…she's hot-"

"You think I'm hot?"

She slaps his chest. "I'm not blind. Just got a single-track mind is all." She starts to droll in a low uninflected voice: "John Sheppard, John Sheppard, John Sheppard," she grins. "It's like a mantra really. Besides, you know you're all that." Jax shrugs. "And, Teyla's a wu-man… sure she's got all the parts and the maternal instinct to use 'em."

"You see that?"

"I'm not the only one. Seems you are a hot topic at girl's poker night." She giggles. "Well, according to Cadman, everyone's a hot topic…but mostly the men. She's invited me to their next game."

Ronon's grinning, now. Jax is special…he's known that for a while. He can't judge her decisions. They are a part of who she is; though, he does wonder what might be at the top of her list of reasons. Ronon can guess somewhere on it there's something about not wanting to bring a new life into a world that kept taking away those she loved. "So. You and Cadman are staying friends?"

She pats his leg then leans back against him again. "Yeah, we bonded over the whole water balloon/pheromone debacle. She's cool. But…"

"What?"

"It's hard having to lie so much, especially now."

"Why?"

"Because, silly. I'm getting all comfy. I might slip, let out a bit of truth, get myself in trouble."

"Out here?"

"Hey, you never know with those guys," she sighs, though Ronon doesn't sense any fear coming from her. She feels safe here. "Gotta keep myself top secret. Just the way it is." She leans her head against his shoulder and looks up at him. "Don't you feel special," she grins. "You're the only one who gets to know me…Angie." Her tone is playful, but her eyes flicker with a bit of fear, as if she's worried he doesn't want to know her.

Ronon kisses her forehead. "Yes. I'm very lucky." Jax smiles and nestles in to watch the rest of the show.


	21. Chapter 21

21

"We found it!" Sheppard says a bit too loudly as he and Ronon enter Dr. Weir's office. Her eyes open wide as she quickly shuts the door. They move to the far end of the office where the Colonel sits on the sofa with Dr. Weir next to him. Ronon stands, arms crossed, legs stiff from their recent adventure.

As Sheppard describes the location to Dr. Weir, Ronon rubs his neck. His hair is still damp from the snow Teyla, McKay and Sheppard threw at him. They seemed to have great fun attacking him with the soft ice. Surprisingly, he too had fun getting back at each of them individually. They spent over an hour having a 'snowball fight'. He's never seen Sheppard so ecstatic about something. The man truly is a boy at heart.

"Sounds perfect," Dr. Weir says, grinning, her eyes twinkling. Ronon hasn't been able to decipher her age, but when she smiles, she looks years younger. "Now all I have to do is get that damn red-tape cleared up," she grumbles.

"Still no word, yet?" Sheppard asks.

She shakes her head. "I'm tempted to send a message directly to the general." She glances at them, her eyes widen again, realizing she let something slip. "Anyway. At least I have some good news. We have fresh fruit and vegetables and a new shipment of chocolate candy bars. Oh and the massage tables have arrived, finally."

Sheppard's eyes brighten then a slight blush creeps up his neck and he clears his throat. Ronon shakes his head, letting a smirk take hold. It's been weeks and still Sheppard's afraid to be alone around Jax. The man's not that subtle about his constant attraction these days either. Whenever she's around, he turns into a sputtering fool who can't look her in the eyes. He stammers over his words and only looks at her in quick glimpses. It's very amusing.

And it's different from how he still looks at Dr. Weir. With her, he smiles easily, relaxes into conversation, his eyes always seeking out hers. And when she leaves, his gaze follows her with a bit of hunger.

There's a knock on the door jarring all three. "Come in," Dr. Weir says.

Col. Caldwell steps inside, eyeing them in his usual superior manner. The man can't seem to hide his resentment. "The Daedalus is still unloading. Where do I have the tables sent?"

Dr. Weir gets up and goes to her desk. "We have three small rooms near the infirmary set aside for massage therapy." She shows him the rooms on the data pad. "They're right next to each other. And quite close to a transporter."

"Very well." He turns to head out.

"Colonel?" He turns to face her again. "Any mail for my people?"

He nods, his face smug. "It's already been handled."

Dr. Weir watches him with suspicion. "Handled?"

"I had several of my staff deliver it already."

"Really?" She leans a hip against the side of her desk, arms crossed, eyes dangerous. Sheppard and Ronon catch each other watching the scene carefully. Ronon wonders if they should leave, but the look Sheppard's giving him is slightly amused. Dr. Weir tilts her head, her eyes steady on the other man. "That's hardly protocol, Colonel."

"I felt it would be easier, given your workload. Save you some time."

Ronon doesn't believe him. The Colonel holds too much anger inside to do anything simply out of kindness. Ronon notices Sheppard and Dr. Weir also don't believe the man's actions are without motive.

"You _felt_ that, did you?" She sneers, though still keeping her tone level, professional. "In the future, Colonel. Please refrain from trying to make my workload easier. I happen to enjoy handing out the mail. Let's me keep in touch with my staff. Who are, after all, _my_ staff."

Before Caldwell can rebut, the alarm sounds throughout the city. All of them rush into the Control Room, hearing the Stargate engage. The shield comes up immediately. "Unscheduled activation," the man at the board calls.

Dr. Weir's by the technician's side and Sheppard's instantly behind her. "Who is it?"

The wormhole shuts down an instant later, leaving them all staring at the gate in wonder. Dr. Weir looks at the technician. "Data burst, Dr. Weir. From the SGC."

She nods. "E-mails?"

The technician shakes his head. "No ma'am. Single message to you. Confidential."

She wrinkles her brows at the technician. "Send it to my data pad." She locks eyes with Sheppard before returning to her office. Both Sheppard and Caldwell follow so Ronon tags along as well. Dr. Weir sits at her desk and taps on her data pad. Her eyes widen as she reads. Moments later, they level harshly onto Caldwell. "Well, Colonel, seems like I'm not the only one who's going to be surprised by the change in protocol."

He shakes his head. "Like I said, doctor. I just felt it would be easier-"

"Well," she stands suddenly, her hands flat on her desk. "I'll be sure to include your _feelings_ in my report to General O'Neill." Caldwell's face loses some of the smugness and his lips twitch. She looks at Ronon. "Have you seen Jax today?"

"She has mess duty. We were on our way after-"

Dr. Weir nods. "I would appreciate it if you could bring her here…immediately."

Sheppard's eyes narrow. "What's going on, Elizabeth?"

"Sorry, John." She shakes her head. "Classified." She glances back at Caldwell. "I believe you have a ship to unload, Colonel." Caldwell nods and heads out, giving Sheppard a glare as usual. Dr. Weir takes her seat again. A worried look creasing her brows. "Please Ronon. It's important."

Ronon nods once and heads out.

* * *

"She's not here," Owen says, wiping down a table.

"Isn't she working the night shift?"

The older man nods. "Supposed to be. She was here, but left in a huff a while ago. Don't know why, I was just coming in."

Ronon thanks the man and heads into the back where he finds Cassie already washing dishes while Jeff dries. He's gotten friendly with them since that first night Jax washed his hair and they don't mind it when he joins them. "Hey, Ronon," Jeff says. He's a good kid, but not the 'brightest crayon in the box' Jax once said.

"Do you know where Jax went?"

"Nope," he and Cassie say at the same time. Then Cassie looks up from her work. "She was pissed though. Haven't seen her like that in a long time. Not since you two got together."

Ronon knows about the rumors and he and Jax have decided not to bother fighting them. No one seems to understand that a man and a woman can care about each other without physical needs getting in the way. It does make him feel good to know that others have seen a change in her since they entered each others lives. Ronon would never have imagined himself as a good influence on someone. "What upset her?"

"Who knows," Jeff says with quizzical brows. "I try to stay away from her when she's in a bad mood."

"Probably a smart move," Ronon says then thanks them.

As he leaves, they say: "No problem," at the same time.

Ronon knocks on Dr. Weir's door, even though it's open. She looks up from her work. When she sees he's alone, her face falls and the worry returns. "Where is she?"

"She left work early, in a bad mood. I'll find her."

"Crap!" she gasps, looking to the side.

Startled, Ronon takes a step inside the room. "Dr. Weir? What is happening?"

She holds up a finger as her other hand taps her headset. "Col. Sheppard, please come to my office." She shakes her head. "Damn Caldwell. Damn the military and its out-dated procedures!"

"You're worried."

She nods as she gets up from her chair. "This is a difficult situation." She turns away from him and starts to pace, running her fingers through her hair. "Damn. I should have been there."

Sheppard rushes in behind Ronon. He must not have been too far away to make it so quickly. "What's up?"

Dr. Weir turns to both of them, her hands on her hips. "Jax needs to be found right away."

"She wasn't-" he looks at Ronon who shakes his head. He shrugs, looking back at Dr. Weir. "Go citywide, give her a holler."

"That's not a good idea," Dr. Weir says. "It may draw unwanted attention. Besides, I doubt she'd respond."

"I can find her," Ronon says firmly.

"It's a big city."

Ronon shakes his head. "If she's upset there are only a few places she'll go. I _can_ find her."

Dr. Weir shakes her head. "Not fast enough, I'm afraid." She looks at Sheppard. "Coordinate with Major Lorne, Sgt. Stackhouse and Lt. Franks for a city search."

Sheppard closes the gap between them. "Elizabeth. We need to know what's happening."

Ronon watches the emotions and conflict cloud the woman's face. She desperately wants to tell, but is not permitted. One thing about Dr. Weir, she is a woman of trust and conviction. She does not break that trust even at crucial times. It's a matter of honor. But Ronon knows Jax. Knows the secrets. "Is she in danger?" he asks, prompting Sheppard to turn to him.

Dr. Weir nods. "She could be…yes."

That gets both him and Sheppard moving. They leave Dr. Weir and go into the Control Room. Sheppard orders the internal sensors to be brought up so they can see if anyone is outside the designated areas. "Sorry, Colonel. Dr. Zelenka's running maintenance tests on the board."

"Zelenka," Sheppard taps his earpiece. "This is Sheppard. How soon can you get the sensors up?" He waits. "Well that's not good enough." With a huff, Sheppard looks at Ronon. "Guess we do it the old fashioned way."

"Which is?"

"Our eyes. Let's go."

* * *

Sheppard orders the three other teams plus McKay and Teyla to meet in the Gate Room in five minutes, full gear.

Once everyone is gathered, Ronon tells them where to look. Sheppard sends Stackhouse's team to the South Pier where they had the water balloon fight, Lorne's team to the West pier where they found her dancing alone and Franks team the East pier where the gym is located. Their team will check the North side. Ronon's sure she'll be at her private range—even though she hasn't been down there since the attack by Bugman—and he doesn't want anyone coming up on her while she has a gun or knife in her hand.

"Radio in the moment you've spotted her. She's probably in a bad mood, but that doesn't mean you shoot her, got it?" Sheppard jokes. "But it is important we find her and bring her to Dr. Weir A-sap. I can't give you more than that. As it's need to know…and I…well, don't."

Stackhouse and Lorne exchange confused glances but nod as does Franks and all three lead their groups to the nearest transporter. McKay and Teyla hang back, looking just as confused. "Why is she so important suddenly?" McKay asks.

Sheppard glowers at the scientist. "You're one to talk, McKay. After what you did to her."

"What I…that was not my fault. Besides, she hasn't activated anything since. She's being overly cautious, requiring me to read all the information to her before she touches a thing."

"I am not surprised," Teyla says. She looks to Ronon. "You know her best. You believe she will be in the North side?"

"Yeah."

"Then let's go," Sheppard says, leading the way to the transporter.

* * *

Stepping off the transporter, both Sheppard and Teyla stop for a moment to look around… remembering. Ronon knows how hard it was for Teyla to have to shoot at the Colonel. But it was even harder for her _not_ to shoot him when he almost attacked her. She's since gone beyond the incident, but seeing the corridor again seems to have brought it back to both of them.

Sheppard's wary as he looks around. Ronon leads the way; they have some walking to do before getting to the room. He told them not to call out to her. It'll only anger her that he's brought them down to her sanctuary.

As they pass the corridor off-shoot that Ronon found Jax in after the attack, Sheppard stops and stares down it. His brows crease as confusion floods his face. "Colonel?" Teyla asks, making him turn to her.

He shakes his head. "I just had the strangest feeling."

"What?" McKay asks.

Sheppard tilts his head and licks his lips, thinking. "I was sure she'd be down there."

Teyla knows what happened and has sworn not to inform Sheppard, though she does not like keeping things from the Colonel. She looks to Ronon. "Should we go that way?"

Ronon says a firm, "No." Then leads the way toward the pier.

* * *

The red lights glow into the corridor but no sound echoes from the large room. He knows before entering that Jax in not inside. But she was…recently. As Ronon enters, he's struck by the mess. Sheppard, Teyla and McKay follow him inside and immediately go about looking over the paper targets littering the floor, mostly in shreds. Along the far wall, four targets are tacked with Jax's daggers through the head.

Sheppard picks up two halves of one target, holding them to the light. He stares at the precision shots, including one in the forehead, then glares at Ronon. "You should have told me about this."

Ronon looks away. "We need to get back." He was certain she'd be here. This is her place.

Sheppard taps his headset. "Anybody found her yet?" He shakes his head.

"She is extremely talented," Teyla says eyeing the targets that are not completely destroyed. She moves to the wall and pulls out one of the daggers, with some effort. "And strong."

McKay grumbles. "She's not armed…right?" He glances around, eyes wide with fear. "I mean, she wouldn't come at us. Right?"

Ronon looks at the table as Sheppard turns to it. The red bag is there as is her handgun. Sheppard picks up the gun. "Fully loaded. Safety off."

Jax never leaves her weapons behind. And she never leaves her gun with the safety off. Ronon taps his headset. "Dr. Weir?"

"Ronon? Go ahead."

"I suggest you check Jax's quarters. She is not where I expected her to be."

"I already thought of that, Ronon. I didn't find her." Dr. Weir sighs. "Perhaps one of the other teams will." He could hear the worry in the commander's voice.

Having found the practice room empty, Ronon feels a coldness in the pit of his stomach. "Perhaps." He clicks off. Maybe she's on the balcony he enjoys. "I have another idea." Ronon leads the way to the balcony. It is empty.

* * *

Two hours later, Ronon and Sheppard are back in Dr. Weir's office. The teams found no trace of Jax, leaving the three of them on edge. "She didn't go to the mainland," Dr. Weir states. "She's here somewhere." She looks pointedly at Ronon. "You're certain she doesn't have some other place she would go to…hide."

"Hide?" Sheppard's brows shoot up. Dr. Weir glances at him momentarily.

Ronon's at a loss. He knows Jax better than anyone and yet, he can't find her when he desperately needs to.

Just then, Dr. McKay bursts into the room. "I've got her."

"What?" Dr. Weir shoots out of her chair. "Where?"

McKay leads them back out to the Control Room and points at the internal sensor board that's now fully functional. "It just came back on-line."

"So where is she?" Dr. Weir asks.

"It's the strangest thing, really. I wouldn't have even noticed if it hadn't been-"

"McKay," Sheppard says at the same time Dr. Weir snaps: "Rodney!"

McKay takes a breath. "She's in Ronon's quarters."

Everyone turns to him. He's just as shocked as they are. "Mine?" Jax has only been in his quarters once. They've only ever spent time in hers. She must have gone there looking for him.

McKay points to the glowing dot. "Well, someone is. And since you're here, I'm fairly certain it isn't you."

Ronon's on the move. He can hear Sheppard coming up behind him.

They're outside his quarters within a few minutes, but Ronon can't open the door. He waves his hand over the controls three times, but the door won't budge. Sheppard tries next. Still nothing. "What the hell?" Sheppard radios McKay. "Open it." McKay's refuting answer makes Sheppard glare. "Then get your ass down here now. Sheppard out." He looks at Ronon. "We have to try it manually."

Sheppard knocks on the door. "Jax? It's Colonel Sheppard. Open the door."

Ronon shakes his head. "You're wasting your time."

"Well it's my time to waste." He pounds on the door again. "Jax. Unlock the door."

The five minutes it takes McKay to show up are five minutes Ronon's afraid Jax doesn't have. After pounding on the door several times, Sheppard gave up trying to get through to her. Ronon knows she's in the room and that cold surge returns to his stomach followed by a shiver traveling down his spine.

McKay works the crystals in the panel with his usual attitude. "She managed to rewrite the sub-systems."

"Why?" Sheppard asks.

McKay looks at the Colonel with annoyance. "I'm assuming to keep people out."

"Just open it, McKay. She needs help," Ronon growls.

"How do you know that?" McKay asks raising his brows.

"I can smell the blood." Sheppard and McKay look at him then McKay quickly gets back to work.

* * *

The lock releases and the door swishes open. The room's icy cold and pitch black as only the lights from the corridor penetrate. Ronon doesn't see her at first. His eyes take a moment to adjust to the dark. He steps inside, holding a hand up to keep Sheppard and McKay back. He doesn't turn on the lights.

She's sitting in the desk chair that every room has; her back to the door as she faces the window on the far side of the room.

The broken window. There's a gaping hole in the lower middle portion of the stained glass. Ronon can guess she punched her hand through it even before he sees the blood dripping from the fist hanging at her side, leaving a thick puddle on the floor.

Ronon glances at Sheppard. "Call the doctor." Then he slowly moves toward Jax. He sits on the side of the bed and stares at her profile. She doesn't move. Doesn't acknowledge his presence, she simply stares out the damaged window. She doesn't even blink.

Moving around the chair, Ronon squats in front of her. Her right hand, tightly fisted, is at her side, bleeding onto his floor, but her left hand is curled around a long, thick shard of window glass. She's holding the sharp point against her throat. He can see blood on her skin, but it doesn't look like she's cut herself too bad, except for the palm of her hand. He can see the trail of blood going down her arm to the elbow.

"Jax." He says softly. She doesn't respond. She doesn't look at him at all, in fact. Her open eyes are not focused on anything, not even the window. Her slack face is wet with tears, but her eyes no longer drip. And she still doesn't blink.

He gently touches her face. Her skin is icy. She must have been sitting in front of the window for hours, letting the cold wind blow onto her. "Angela?"

Nothing.

He hears commotion in the hall and then both Sheppard and Dr. Beckett come into the room. Again Ronon holds up a hand. "Wait." He cups Jax's chin in one hand, lifting her head away from the glass shard. With his free hand, he peels her fingers open and takes the glass from her. She doesn't resist, it slides away easily enough. Her hand doesn't drop or move. The fingers stick out exactly as he left them. He drops the glass and cups her face in both his hands turning her so he can look into her eyes. What he sees breaks his heart.

Emptiness.

The body is just a shell.

Jax is gone.

Ronon releases her and steps back against the wall. "All yours, doc."

Beckett rushes forward and Sheppard backs up as two male nurses enter, pushing a gurney. They lift Jax out of the chair as if she's nothing more than a bag of grain and lay her onto the mobile bed, gently molding her into a flat position. She doesn't fight, doesn't move, doesn't seem to notice.

"Wait," Sheppard steps to the right side of the gurney.

"We have to go, Colonel," Beckett warns.

Sheppard peels open Jax right hand as Ronon just did the left, revealing a wadded up piece of paper. He takes it and then looks at Jax for a long moment. His hand touches her neck where the blood is and that look he got earlier in the corridor returns. Beckett pushes the gurney through the door without Sheppard saying anything.

Suddenly, the Colonel's angry eyes are on Ronon. "Why didn't you tell me," he growls from deep in his chest. His eyes widen, full of restrained fury. "How dare you not tell me!"

"What?" McKay asks from behind Sheppard.

Ronon shakes his head. "Because it's not about you, Sheppard. It's what _she_ wanted. Jax is the reason you're still alive, by the way. I was ready to kill you."

"What?" McKay squeaks. "When."

"Never mind," they say together.

Ronon can see Sheppard's stewing in his anger and that it will be some time before he can come to terms with it, with himself. Instead of lashing out again, he takes his frustration out on the paper in his hand. It tears as he roughly unravels the wad. When he reads it silently, his expression darkens.

McKay asks, "What is it?"

Sheppard sighs heavily, running his hand through his hair. "We regret to inform you of the death of Major Charles Montgomery…" he trails off, looking at Ronon.

"Oh no," McKay says softly.

"KIA. Details classified," Sheppard adds with a heavy exhale.

Ronon hangs his head as he leans against the wall. This could be the one loss she can't overcome.

* * *

Ronon, Sheppard, McKay and Dr. Weir watch from the sidelines as the doctor and nurses rush about trying to stave off the blood as it flows from both of Jax's hands. Dr. Beckett checks her neck, declaring the lacerations minor in comparison and Dr. Weir sighs. "Thank God."

Sheppard looks over at Dr. Weir. "This is what you were afraid of?"

She nods and McKay gapes at her. Keeping his voice low: "You knew she'd try to kill herself?"

"Try?" Dr. Weir grunts. "I figured she'd succeed. It's not like she didn't have plenty of time." Dr. Weir curses under her breath, but Ronon clearly hears her spit Caldwell's name. She shakes her head. "Jax tends to finish what she starts." She looks to Ronon. "Am I wrong?"

"No."

Sometime later, Dr. Beckett comes over to the group to give his report. "She's stabile for now. Breathing and heart rate low but within the normal range. We've managed to clean up the lacerations. She needed several stitches in her left palm, but didn't cut any tendons. Her right fist had multiple cuts and punctures from embedded glass. She lost a bit of blood. I'm surprised she didn't break her hand that glass is nearly an inch think."

Ronon steps forward. "Can I talk to her?"

Beckett shakes his head. "Not yet, son. I need to run some more tests. I can't be certain until the EEG but I believe she's catatonic."

Everyone except Ronon sighs. "What is that?"

"It a dissociative state. She's withdrawn into herself to the point where she doesn't experience reality as we see it. It's possible she has no conscious thought what-so-ever. She can't move voluntarily and doesn't react to external stimuli, including pain. Something like this is generally seen associated with schizophrenia, but it has been documented in people with PTSD." He looks pointedly at Dr. Weir. "Which I'm guessing from our last encounter with the young lass is exactly what we are dealing with."

Ronon glances at Jax. The nurses are carefully bandaging her hands. "So, there's a battle going on inside her."

"Anything's possible at this juncture," Beckett says.

Ronon nods with conviction. "Part of her wants to die, is tired of fighting, of losing so much. But the other part, the survivor… wants to live."

Sheppard locks his eyes on Ronon. "Which do you think will win?"

Ronon crosses his arms. After a moment: "Angela."

From the corner of his eye, he can see McKay raise a finger and look around the group. "And…who is that, exactly?"


	22. Chapter 22

22

He watches her breathe.

In and out. In and out. Restfully, as if she's sleeping—though he's never known Jax to sleep restfully—her eyes open, staring at the ceiling though seeing nothing. She can be molded into any form. If he lifts her hand, it stays where he puts it until he moves it again. Her body is a shell, waiting for her to return and bring it back to life. He knows she's in there somewhere. He can feel it in her heartbeat that quickens slightly—as noticed by the beep, beep of the monitor—whenever he's near. As if she's calling out to him.

He talks to her about missions, the city, the mainland. He tells her about the most recent rumors, hoping to make her mad enough to snap out of whatever this is that has taken her away from him.

He brings in her laptop and plays the _MacGyver_ episodes over and over, hoping for a spark of interest to cross her face.

He tells her how much he misses her.

He yells at her and shakes her. He curses her for being weak until Beckett has him forcefully removed from the infirmary, usually by Sheppard, who somehow, though full of silence, manages to get him under control again.

He sits with her for hours in the middle of the night, staring into her empty eyes, trying to will her into action.

He gently holds her hand, letting her know he's by her side. Dr. Beckett says she's not conscious of her surroundings, but does believe she can hear him on some level, believes she is listening.

All he can do is wait.

And watch her breathe.

* * *

Dr. Beckett shakes his head. "I can't help her here," he says firmly. He's been going over the same argument for nearly an hour.

Ronon and Sheppard stand to the sides of the doctors as they square off in Weir's office.

Sheppard's been unusually quiet since they found Jax in Ronon's room. Ever since he saw the blood on her neck and remembered that he attacked her as the Bugman, he hasn't cracked a smile or made a joke. When he does speak, he snaps at everyone, including Ronon, but mostly he goes about day-to-day business with a scowl and wrinkled brows. His face is plastered with guilt and no matter what Ronon tries to tell him, he refuses to listen. He refuses to see that Jax survived without serious injury because Sheppard, himself, did something to stop it. Jax put the incident behind her…she doesn't blame him, how can he blame himself.

And yet he does.

Ronon's unsure if Dr. Weir knows what is on the Colonel's mind. She rarely gives away any emotion, not unlike Jax in that respect, always self-contained and in control. But Ronon can see a slight crack in the surface. She, too, is worried and feeling guilty. "You'll have to do your best, Carson. It's out of my hands."

"Out of your…Dr. Weir, I don't have the equipment or the staff to monitor her around the clock. It's been two weeks since she went into the state and there's no physical reason for it. I've tried every possible medication to pull her out, but nothing has stimulated the poor lass. If we don't get her into a mental care facility…"

"I understand," Dr. Weir says slowly, her eyes locking onto Beckett as she rises out of her chair. "But she is not permitted to return to Earth. End of discussion."

Beckett shakes his head even harder. "How is that possible? It's her home-"

"No," Ronon says and all eyes turn to him, including Sheppard's. "This is her home."

"I know you have feelings for the lass, but she needs her family-"

Ronon glowers at Beckett. "_We_ are her family." He crosses his arms. "There's nothing for her back there." He drops his gaze and his voice, not really wanting to say anything more, but unable to keep it to himself. "She'll die there. Alone."

Ronon lifts his eyes, catching Dr. Weir staring at him with uncompromised compassion. She nods before looking back at Beckett. "He's right. More than anyone, Jax is home on Atlantis and she isn't going anywhere else. I'm sorry, Carson, I can't give you the explanation you want. I can only follow orders. As you must."

"This is bloody insanity, that's what it is."

Dr. Weir stands, her hands on her hips and starts to pace. "Are you telling me the Ancients never came across something like this? There has to be some mention of a cure."

"Aye, there's a cure. Jax. She has to want to come out of it. But I don't see that happening. A catatonic state can last hours or years. There's no telling what can trigger a reversal. It depends on the patient and her medical history. Which, by the way, is woefully inadequate for this particular patient considering I know nothing-"

Dr. Weir holds up a silencing hand. "I know." She looks to Ronon. "Have you tried speaking to her?"

He nods. "Every day." He lifts his chin. "Even Sheppard and Teyla have tried."

"And no response?"

"She doesn't even blink," Sheppard says quietly.

"Aye, we're using saline drops to keep her eyes hydrated," Carson adds. "Plus she's on the IV drip, but the lass has already lost weight and it's not like she was exactly in need of that to begin with. She's going to start to lose muscle soon."

"Well, we can't let that happen!" Dr. Weir snaps, making them all look at her in shock. She raises a hand again. "I'm sorry, I know you're-"

The citywide alarm blares, cutting her off and she glances at Sheppard. His expression goes from guilty to ready-for-action as he leads the way into the Control Room followed by Ronon with Dr. Weir right behind them.

"What's wrong?" she asks.

McKay rushes around the panels. "We've got a ship incoming. The long range sensors just picked it up and it's already almost on top of us. Damn, it's fast!"

"Wraith?" Caldwell asks coming into the Control Room.

McKay studies the computer. "It's too big for a…it just…wait…what?" He looks up at them with fear in his eyes. "It just cloaked!"

"Wraith ships can't do that!" Sheppard says firmly.

Dr. Weir runs her hand through her hair. "Can we cloak the city?"

McKay shakes his head. "It's too late, they know we're here. I'll get the shield on-line-" He starts pushing buttons but stops abruptly when a white beam of light shines in the Gate Room. The soldiers on guard raise their weapons and Sheppard's on the move down the stairs to confront the incoming enemy with Ronon beside him.

A gray-haired man in green fatigues appears out of the light making Sheppard draw up short and stop, staring open mouthed. "Man, that never gets old," the newcomer says, grinning. He looks around, seeing most of the military lowering their weapons and saluting him—except Sheppard, who seems stunned. "At ease," the man says loudly and the soldiers relax. He takes in the view around him. "Nice."

"General?" Dr. Weir calls from the balcony. Ronon sees a big smile on her face as she races down the stairs to greet the newcomer. Caldwell and McKay follow instantly—the Daedalus Colonel doesn't look happy, not that he ever does, but McKay's grinning. "That was an Asguard ship," McKay says on his way down the stairs. "They weren't planning on staying…?"

"Nope, already gone," the man says and McKay's smile fades. "Dr. Weir." He steps over to Sheppard and shoves two boxes at the Colonel. "Hold these will you, Sheppard." He looks the Colonel over. "And close your mouth, you'll catch flies." He waves a hand in the air. "Or whatever bugs you have out here."

Sheppard grimaces at the word 'bugs' but takes the packages and closes his gaping mouth. He then smirks a little. "Nice to see you again, sir."

"Yeah. You too." He narrows his eyes at Sheppard's head. "Same haircut I see." Sheppard raises his brows and nods, scrunching up his face as he runs his free hand through the hair. The newcomer then glances briefly at Caldwell. "Colonel."

"General," Caldwell nods from his position still on the stairs. He seems to like remaining taller than everyone else as they gather at the base of the steps.

Dr. Weir stops in front of the General and immediately shakes his hand. She's smiling with relief. "I didn't expect this when I sent the message."

The man nods side-to-side and makes a face similar to Sheppard's. "Yeah, well. Had some time off…and a few markers to call in," he motions overhead.

"I always thought Dr. Jackson would be the first to join us from the SGC," McKay adds.

The General nods. "Yeah." He lifts a finger. "About that. Daniel doesn't know about this here little visit…and I'd like to keep it that way. He can be a bit…pissy on the subject."

Dr. Weir nods and Ronon sees a mischievous glimmer in her eyes. "Ah, I see."

"I only have a small window to get back through the gate before he returns from an off-world mission, but I had to try..."

"I understand," Dr. Weir says.

"How long?" Sheppard asks.

"Two days." He turns to Dr. Weir again and lowers his voice. "How is she?"

Her smile falls and she shakes her head. "Doesn't look good. She's cat-"

"Catatonic, yeah…you mentioned."

She touches the man's arm. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there for her."

"I only found out an hour before notifying you." He narrows his gaze. "Don't blame yourself, doctor. Obviously you can only do your best…" his gaze drifts over to Caldwell and it narrows further. "Given what you have to work with." Sheppard's had this look before…for someone called Kavanaugh. He calls it his 'eat-shit-and-die' glare.

Caldwell's face turns a slight shade of green and he glances away from the other man, who obviously has some power over the annoying Colonel which makes Ronon like the newcomer instantly.

"I got a crash course on the diagnosis," the General tells Dr. Weir and points to the boxes Sheppard's holding. "Brought some provisions." He shrugs. "Maybe they'll do the trick."

Dr. Weir glances at the boxes; she seems to know what's inside without even looking and she smiles. "I hope so. I've actually had supplies on order for several months. Enough for everyone. Dr. Zelenka helped with getting sizes. But…"

"I'll see if I can cut through some of that red-tape for you when I get back."

She grins and nods. "That'd be nice, sir."

Sheppard closes the gap, coming in front of Dr. Weir and the General. "General, sir,…how do you know Jax?" he whispers.

"She's a…special friend. Can't cook worth beans. Burn a salad if it was possible. But I suggest no one play chess with her, especially for money."

"Why's that?" McKay asks.

The man shrugs again and at the same time he speaks, so does Ronon. "She read a book on it once." Hearing the deep echo, the General widens his eyes, and turns his attention fully to Ronon, looks him over then offers his hand. "You must be Tarzan."

Ronon grips the man's hand firmly and shakes it as he saw Dr. Weir do. "Specialist Ronon Dex."

"Ah, Ronon Dex, of course. Nice…hair." He glances at Sheppard who shakes his head slightly.

"Ronon," Sheppard starts. "This is Gen. Jack O'Neill, head of Home World Security."

"General O'Neill…G.O.N.," Ronon says, looking the man up and down. When he catches his eyes, Ronon tilts his head. "The gift giver."

"That'd be me," he says, massaging his hand once it's free.

"You're older than I expected."

"Hmm. Yeah, well. That happens over the years." Still massaging his hand. "You should call her Cheetah if she mentions the Tarzan thing again," he grumbles.

Ronon grins, motions to Sheppard with his eyes. "That's what he said."

O'Neill looks to Sheppard. "Really?" Sheppard shrugs and makes the face again. "How'd she react?"

"She wanted to hurt someone," Ronon smirks, again looking at Sheppard, who's eyes open wide.

"I'm not surprised." O'Neill nods also smirking.

"If you'll excuse me," Caldwell says.

"Please, go about your business, Colonel. We'll speak later." With a curt nod and a bit of the green in his face again, Caldwell leaves, probably to return to his ship and sulk as Sheppard would say. The General leans in to quietly say something to Dr. Weir but Ronon's close enough to hear it. "Col. Stick-up-his-butt giving you any more problems?"

Dr. Weir chuckles. "Nothing I can't handle."

"I'm sure."

"Helps that he knows I have a…special friend as well."

"Hey, you got Kinsey fired…I'm in debt forever." O'Neill's smile slowly drops as he takes a deep breath and releases it. "So, where's my girl?"

"She's in a private room off the infirmary," Dr. Beckett states, joining the rest of the group at the bottom of the stairs. "She's still unresponsive, however."

"Well, we'll see about that." He looks at Ronon. "So, may I call you Ronon?"

"It's my name."

"Right. Lead the way." Ronon turns toward the corridor that heads to the infirmary and the General is right at his side. "I'd like to know your intentions towards the young lady," O'Neill says.

Still carrying the boxes, Sheppard follows with Dr. Weir next to him and Beckett behind. Ronon raises his brows, glancing back at Sheppard who is peeking inside the top box then he meets Ronon's gaze and his eyes quickly fill with fear. He shakes his head, eyes wide with pleading. _Don't tell him anything_, he mouths. Ronon narrows his gaze and grunts then looks at their visitor. "I was wondering the same thing about you, Jack."

O'Neill does a double-take upon hearing his first name, but doesn't object. "Consider her my… adopted daughter."

"Daughter?" Ronon nods and finds himself smiling. "Good to know." Ronon pauses a moment before adding: "Sir."


	23. Chapter 23

23

The door to the private infirmary room slides open when Beckett waves his hand over the control panel. "Cool," O'Neill says with a smile that falters and disappears the instant Jax becomes visible across the small room.

She's sitting up in the infirmary bed facing the doorway, practically swimming in the maroon scrubs shirt that makes her look extremely pale. Her face is slack, eyes open, hands at her sides, a light weight, white blanket set over the lower half of her body. She's covered in wires. They trail from her head as well as her heart to the two separate machines that beep in a steady rhythm. The IV is in her left arm. It was in the right, but something happened to the vein and they had to move it.

Ronon crosses the room before anyone else. He goes to her side and kisses her forehead then whispers in her ear. "You have visitors…best behavior." He hears the beep of the heart monitor alter ever so slightly then it settles again into the regular beat.

A nurse finishes taking Jax's blood pressure and removes the cuff. She smiles encouragingly at Ronon then nods to Dr. Beckett as he comes inside and hands him a data pad. "No changes," she says. "But she knows he's here," she adds, motioning to Ronon with a small smile.

"She always does," Beckett says softly. "Thank you, Sally. You can take a break now."

She heads out, glancing at everyone with a polite smile. "General…nice to see you."

As she passes through the door, O'Neill turns and leans out into the corridor. "I'm not really here." He turns back inside. "I don't think she heard me."

"It's okay, sir," Dr. Weir smiles. "I'll handle it."

Ronon steps aside, giving O'Neill access to Jax. He does the same as Ronon, kissing her forehead before lifting her hand. Her hands are no longer bandaged since the stitches have already been removed, but the wounds are still healing: dark pink and surrounded by bruises. "What happened?"

"Broke a window with the right one," Ronon says. "Sliced open the left palm pretty bad."

O'Neill turns back to Jax. "For crying out loud, that was dumb." There's a single beep out of rhythm on the other monitor…the one Beckett says watches brain activity.

"What was that?" Ronon asks.

Beckett checks the panel then huffs and flashes his dimples at the General. "I think you made her mad, sir."

O'Neill slides his jaw to the side. "Good. She made me mad too."

"Carson, why don't we give them some time alone," Dr. Weir says quietly.

Beckett agrees and heads out with the others. O'Neill smoothes a hand over the young woman's dark hair, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. "Sheppard, put the boxes on the end of the bed."

The Colonel comes back inside and sets them down as ordered. "Good luck, sir."

The moment Sheppard speaks, the heart monitor beeps faster for several seconds then settles again. O'Neill tears his eyes away from Jax and looks at Sheppard for a long moment. "Thanks." Sheppard nods and heads out with Dr. Weir. Ronon's not far behind.

"You don't have to go," O'Neill tells him.

Ronon turns back to the older man. "I'll be around."

* * *

When Ronon returns some time later, O'Neill is sitting on the edge of the bed, facing Jax. One of the boxes is open on the nearby tray table. He's showing her something, but she's not reacting. Ronon has a cup of black coffee and hands it to the man. "Dr. Weir asked me to bring this." He takes it gratefully, sliding from the bed and sitting in the chair that usually belongs to Ronon. "What are those?" Ronon points to the stack on the bed.

"Pictures of Lily and the baby."

Ronon's brows raise, suddenly worried. "The baby came early?"

O'Neill shakes his head, handing the pictures to Ronon. "No. They're taken with sound…I think. Carter's always better at explaining the stuff."

Ronon looks over the pictures. He's never seen anything like them before. His world didn't have this type of technology to steal a moment in time. Finally seeing an image of Lily makes his heart break for Jax. Once again, she had to leave someone special behind. The woman's beautiful face and eyes hold so much love for whoever she is looking at…probably Charlie. But she's waving, which means she must have known Jax would be seeing the picture as well. As he slips the first few aside, he sees something he never dreamed possible. "This is…?"

O'Neill grins. "That's little Angela. Still inside mommy."

Ronon's breath catches and he feels a lump in his throat as he looks over the image. It is clearly a baby sucking her thumb. Her eyes are closed tight, but he can see she has the same defiant edge as Jax. "I believe she will be a terror."

"More than likely." O'Neill smiles broadly. "Already kicking up a storm."

"Another dancer," Ronon says softly.

"Maybe," O'Neill nods.

Ronon shuffles through more of the pictures until he comes across a young man with red hair that shares the same dark eyes as Jax, though missing the icy shield. "Charlie." He stares at the man with the easy smile and open heart.

"Yeah," O'Neill sighs.

Ronon sets the pictures aside. "I do not understand how they could have never met as children and yet…"

"Been so close?" Ronon nods. O'Neill shrugs. "Just happens with some people, I suppose. I credit him with being open enough to accept her. He never got a chance to know his father, that was his mother's choice, from what I understand. But when he and Angie met, he didn't have an ounce of resentment for her."

"She did save his life."

He nods. "That she did. But I think there's more to it. Seeing them together was a great thing. It's as if they always knew they were missing someone important in their lives." He sips his coffee. "Charlie once admitted that he actually saw her skate. And that's quite an admission coming from a military man." Ronon nods, remembering how Sheppard threaten harm if his secret was revealed. "Afterward, he sought out any prelim or competition to see her again. He was drawn to her-"

"Grace."

O'Neill's eyes widen. "Ah…you too, I see."

Ronon nods, crossing his arms as he studies the older man. "What happened to him?"

"It's classified."

"I'm not in the Earth military."

"No," O'Neill gets up from the chair. "But I am." He groans softly. "I can't even tell her."

"It wasn't because of her, was it?"

"Because…? Oh, hell no. Charlie was doing his job. He saved a lot of lives that day. He's a hero." O'Neill stares at Ronon as he drinks the coffee. "She still goes on about the 'curse' then, I take it?"

Ronon sets the pictures aside. "She believes it. But sometimes…she seems to forget."

O'Neill pats Ronon's shoulder. "I've noticed a difference in her letters. She's happy here. I have a feeling that has something to do with you."

"We are…close."

"I know." He grins. "Not that anything more would be hazardous to your health…from my perspective, but…"

"We don't see each other that way."

He points to his eyes. "These do work. Besides, it's pretty obvious she's got the hots for Sheppard." O'Neill raises his chin and stares hard at Ronon. "He ever gets outta line with her…it's up to you to make it right. Since I won't be here to…maim him, should the need arise."

Ronon smirks. "He cares for her too, I believe."

"Sure he does. What's not to like?" O'Neill turns back to Jax. "Except this crap here, Angie. What the hell are you doing? I didn't come all this way to see you only to have you not see me! It's a bit annoying, you know." He snaps his fingers in front of her face, but doesn't get a reaction. However, there _is_ another beep on the brain monitor, similar to before. O'Neill sighs, sitting in front of her again. "At least I know you're still in there." He caresses her cheek. "You keep fighting, sweetie. You're stronger than this."

"Why do you call her Angie and not Jax?"

He doesn't look at Ronon as he speaks. "Jax isn't real. Haven't you figured that out yet?" He slides his eyes toward Ronon. "It's just a name…an actor, a wall built for protection. Angela," he lifts her battered hand to his lips, "is my girl."

Ronon nods, understanding. Though he still thinks of her as Jax, and probably always will, he has started to call her Angie in private, because it makes her smile. "What's in the other box?"

O'Neill looks at it but makes no attempt to open it. "The last resort." He catches Ronon's gaze and there's fear in his eyes. "If it doesn't work…" he trails off, down casting his gaze to the box again.

"She'll never be alone," Ronon says, raising his chin. "Jack."

The General watches him for several moments then nods in understanding. "Good man."

Ronon sighs. "We should try."

O'Neill sets her hand in her lap and slides off the bed. He nods once and reaches for the box. "Yeah." He opens the lid and pulls out what looks like a white boot with something made of metal on the bottom. He glances at Ronon, most likely seeing his confusion. "It's an ice skate." To show what he means, he pulls off a blue strip from the bottom, exposing a metal blade. He holds up the blue strip. "Blade guard." Then hands the 'skate' to Ronon.

The boot is soft and pliable and the blade thick and sharp, altogether surprisingly heavy for something to be worn on the feet. There are strings woven through holes up the front of the boot, they are also white. Ronon hands it back to O'Neill and the General slides the 'guard' back into place before sitting on the edge of the bed again.

Ronon joins him on the other side of the bed and they both stare at Jax, hoping to see Angie emerge. O'Neill lays the skate against her then picks up one hand and folds it around the boot. "Present time, sweetie." Her fingers touch the soft material, but not of their own accord, only if O'Neill moves them for her.

Ronon takes her left hand and positions it as well. Still there's no reaction. He leans in and cups her face in his hands, turning her head towards him. "Angela." Her eyes remain blank. Ronon has one idea and it's the only thing that comes to him. "Ryan and Charlie want to see you dance again."

He waits. She breathes. But there's no light suddenly coming into her eyes. No spark of awareness. Not even a beep from the machines. Ronon sighs, releasing her, though her head does not return to its earlier position.

"_I_ want to see you dance!" O'Neill says firmly. Still nothing. The General's head drops in defeat. "Damn." He rubs his hands over his face and slides off the bed. He heads for the door and Ronon follows.

"Maybe it will take some time," Ronon says. "We can't give up-"

"Daddy?" It's a soft whisper but loud enough for them to hear and the two men spin around and rush back to the bed. O'Neill sits in front of her again and Ronon's on the other side. She's facing forward though Ronon didn't move her back to that position. And there are tears in her eyes.

O'Neill cups her face as Ronon did a moment ago and turns her to look at him. The monitors start beeping rapidly. "C'mon, sweetie. Come back." The tears drip and slide down into O'Neill's hands. He wipes them aside with his thumbs. "I know you're in there. Angie!"

She blinks, once, twice, more tears dropping. Something so simple, so subtle as to usually go unnoticed, but the motion makes Ronon's heart beat faster.

Her eyes focus on O'Neill. Her brows furrow and she shakes her head a little. "Jack? What are you-" O'Neill grabs her shoulders and pulls her into a tight hug, "-doing here?" She looks genuinely confused.

"Yes!" He says loudly. O'Neill chuckles as he pulls back and cups her cheeks again. He shrugs and makes a funny face. "I was in the neighborhood." He kisses her forehead. "It's good to see ya, kid." Then he hugs her again.

"Okay," she whispers. "Air becoming an issue."

O'Neill pulls back again, grinning. "Sorry."

She pats his chest and smiles. "Still using the same cologne, I smell."

He rocks his head. "Why mess with perfection."

"I thought…" her eyes drop. "I could have sworn I heard my dad's voice."

O'Neill pats her hand. "Hope you're not disappointed."

"No." She smiles at him with so much love, Ronon's a little jealous. He's never seen that look from Jax before, not for anyone. After that hits him, he suddenly realizes why…this isn't Jax. This is Angela. The real Angela. No shield. No defenses. All walls down.

She looks around, seeing the medical equipment, her IV and the wires. Her confused gaze bounces between the two men. "Umm. Ronon?" Her brows wrinkle even more, she looks embarrassed. "What'd I do this time?"

Ronon sits on the edge opposite O'Neill. "You don't remember?"

Her gaze holds his. "No." She swallows hard and takes a deep breath, looking at the General. "Must've been a doozy to get you all riled up though, Jack." She glances around again. "We are still on Atlantis right?" Ronon nods. She looks at O'Neill again. "Dr. Jackson's gonna be pissed. Or is he here too?"

O'Neill grins. "He's not on the need-to-know list." He points a finger at her. "So he never will." She gives a half grin and O'Neill immediately pulls her in so he can kiss her forehead again. "It's so good to see you."

She cups his cheek with her left hand. "You too." Her smile falters though and she pulls her hand back, looking at the scar on the palm. Then she lifts her right hand and sees more healing wounds. "W…why…" and she suddenly stops, her mouth gaping, eyes losing focus. She sucks in another breath, deep and wracked with pain. Her body shudders violently.

O'Neill hugs her close again. "It's okay, Angie. I'm here."

"Ohgod Jack…" she sobs, her body shaking uncontrollably. She wraps her arms around the General with desperation and buries her face against him. "He's gone, isn't he!"

"Yes," O'Neill sniffs and Ronon can tell without looking that the man is in tears as well.

Ronon slips away from the bed and leaves as they huddle together. They don't even realize he's gone, or if they do, it doesn't matter. Nothing else matters at this moment. Jax…Angela is back and she needs her father. Ronon will be there for her later…when she needs _him_.

As he walks down the corridor, ready to give the news to the others, Ronon's heartbeat races and he smiles for the first time in weeks.

She's back.


	24. Chapter 24

24

The planet's name is I-zoola. Actually a moon of an even larger planet that Sheppard says is the size of Jupiter, whatever that means. This is not the same place Ronon visited before; the Stargate is in orbit around another moon eradicated of life by the Wraith. Given the temperature of I-zoola, Sheppard figures the Wraith find it inhospitable and therefore do not bother with it.

O'Neill made good on his promise—six weeks ago—to Dr. Weir to 'cut through the red tape' and the shipment of ice skates and winter clothing is on its way in the Daedalus, only two weeks outbound from Atlantis.

This trip to I-zoola, however, is a special occasion and only a few people have been permitted on the expedition. Dr. Weir asked Teyla and Dr. McKay to hold down the fort as she, Dr. Zelenka, Dr. Heightmeyer, Ronon and Sheppard brought along their first guest to the 'winter wonderland.'

Dr. Heightmeyer was given security clearance by Gen. O'Neill following Jax's recovery. She now knows the full story and has been helping. Though 'Jax' still remains, especially in public, Ronon has seen new aspects of Angie breaking through and every one warms his heart.

Zelenka has been chattering non-stop since he was offered the chance to come along. He does not enjoy going off-world generally, but he cannot keep his excitement from spilling over into his natural language. Even as he puts the finishing touches on the 'sound system' which gets interrupted with snapping at Sheppard for getting in the way, he keeps a smile of anticipation on his face.

They brought folding chairs along and set them in the snow a few feet from the bank of the enormous frozen lake. As they wait for Zelenka, Dr. Heightmeyer and Dr. Weir pour mugs of hot chocolate and hand them out. Dr. Weir gives Ronon a mug and winks at him, her smile so bright he no longer wonders why Sheppard looks at her they way he does. He's never seen her so relaxed in all the time he's known her.

"Ready!" Zelenka yells and takes his chair.

The ladies take their seats as well. Dr. Weir slips between Ronon and Sheppard, but Dr. Heightmeyer sits on the other side of Zelenka. Ronon even sees the two holding hands between the chairs and he grins.

"That's my cue," she says, patting his knee and getting up from her seat on Ronon's other side. She's wearing the same second skin black outfit with the colorful feather-like skirt as when he first saw her dance alone and her hair is piled onto her head, leaving her neck and shoulders very bare. Ronon wonders how she cannot be freezing. Even he's wearing a coat.

She smiles and reminds him that's what warming up is for; which she did while Zelenka worked. "It's been a while. Hope I don't fall on my butt," she says with a grin.

Earlier, during her warm up, Ronon watched her skim over the lake on her skates, making a long circular trek around a section of the ice, putting one foot before the other, twisting and going backwards, and though she glided, it was not as beautiful as when he saw her dance.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he catches Sheppard looking her over with admiration. How the man can be affected by two different women in two completely different ways is still a mystery to Ronon. But he's not going to let his guard down around Sheppard, that's for certain. He did make a promise to Jack. If maiming is required…Ronon's duty bound to make it happen.

"Go Angie!" Dr. Weir yells, clapping wildly and Dr. Heightmeyer joins in. Sheppard sticks two fingers in his mouth and lets out a loud whistle. 'Angie', as only this group calls Jax, smiles broadly and waves as she nears the center of the 'rink' as she calls it. She stops and takes a pose…waiting.

Zelenka holds up a small device and presses a button. A few moments later, the music starts. It is the same song she danced to long ago in that far off gym. The first time Ronon felt she was someone he wanted to get to know. Needed to get to know.

And she floats…glides…even flies through the air on occasion. Each twist and turn, spin and leap takes Ronon's breath away. She's moving so fast, he's afraid she'll fall, but at the same time, he never wants to see her stop.

The music slowly ends and she glides onto one knee coming to a stop back where she started, taking new pose.

Ronon rises an instant before the others and joins them in clapping and whistling.

Angela takes a bow then skates to the edge right in front of Ronon. Her face aglow, damp with sweat, eyes wild with happiness; she's never been more beautiful. Not a hint of Jax anywhere to be seen. "So?" she asks.

Ronon doesn't know what to say. Instead he picks her up and wraps his arms around her, crushing her to him. She giggles easily—she does that a lot lately—wrapping her arms around his neck and hugs him back.

Sheppard clears his throat so they look over, seeing the others wanting to get their hugs in too. Ronon releases Angie and the others attack her in sequence …even Sheppard who takes a bit too long letting her go. Ronon gives him a warning glare, but Sheppard smirks and shakes his head.

"That was amazing," Dr. Weir says.

"Beautiful," Zelenka adds.

"Thank you," she says. Suddenly her eyes go wide with worry as she looks passed everyone. "Um…Dr. Weir." She points toward the tree line. "We aren't alone."

Everyone turns and looks, seeing several people peering through the trees: men, women and children, poking their heads out, trying to get a look at the intruders. Dr. Weir leans over to whisper at Sheppard. "Thought you said this planet was uninhabited."

Sheppard shrugs. "Thought it was."

Of everyone, it's Angie who raises a hand and waves. "Hi!" She smiles.

"Hello," Dr. Weir waves, giving off her friendliest grin. "We don't mean you any harm."

Ronon turns, keeping his hand on his gun, just in case. Two of the people, a man and a woman, come out of the trees, slowly, cautiously. They wear animal fur for clothing—which makes sense in this climate—but carry no weapons—which doesn't make sense in this galaxy.

The woman steps forth, in front of the man. She ignores Ronon and Sheppard and comes right up to Angie, who is taller because of the skates. The woman cocks her head as she looks directly into Angie's eyes. She then touches a hand to her own ear. "Anuk," she says slowly then points at Angie who looks wide eyed at everyone else.

Dr. Weir touches Angela's shoulder. "I think she means the music."

Dr. Zelenka presses the button again and the music starts from the beginning. The woman and man gasp, clutching hands to their hearts repeating the same word, "Anuk," with joyful expressions.

Angie points to the sound system. "Music. _Ladyhawk_," she says.

Sheppard backhands Ronon on the arm. "_I knew_ I knew that music!"

"What is _Ladyhawk_?" Ronon asks.

"Oh…it's a movie from…"

"Any good?"

Sheppard shrugs, making a face. "Anything with Michelle Pfeiffer…"

The woman turns back to Angie and sweeps an arm toward the ice. "Motum?"

Ronon recognizes the word. "They think you fly," he tells Angie.

Sheppard and Dr. Weir chuckle quietly. "I think they liked it too," Dr. Weir says. "Got some more in you?"

Angie grins like Ronon's never seen and laughs lightly. "I think so." She nods to Dr. Zelenka. "Track 3?" He nods in return and readies the song. Angie smiles at the woman and motions to one of the chairs. "Sit."

The woman obviously doesn't understand so Dr. Weir demonstrates. But instead of taking a chair, the man and woman sit on the snow. The team members retake their seats behind the new audience members and before they know it…the rest of the people hiding in the trees come out to join them, at least thirty of them. Some stand, some sit with the man and woman, but all are quiet and waiting.

The music begins again…a new song for a new dance it seems.

And to everyone's delight…she does fly.

* * *

"Wow," she says as Ronon helps take off her second skate. "I've never bridged negotiations before. Kinda cool!" They're in the puddle jumper and she's now wearing her sweat outfit over the top of her other one and she's drinking hot chocolate.

Dr. Weir and Sheppard are having stilted conversations with the local population. Seems this planet isn't as desolate as it first seemed. In fact, from what Dr. Weir has found out, they have quite the fishery and probably other useful things to trade. And so far, all they want is more music and to see more skating.

Dr. Heightmeyer is helping Zelenka dismantle the sound system and Ronon will help bring in the speakers when they finish. But first, he's going to warm up someone's freezing feet. He starts to massage the middle of her foot and she moans. "You've been holding out on me, Dex."

Ronon smirks. "Have to keep some of my own secrets."

She closes her eyes and relaxes against the bench cushion. "Where did you learn this amazing art?"

Ronon moves on to her other foot. "Got me out of many fights with Nally."

"Oohhh. Ahhh, that's good," she giggles. "I'm sure."

He stops, tilting his head and considering her for a long moment. "Why didn't you ever hold me to it?"

Her eyes open. "To what?"

"Our deal. I never did keep my end of the bargain and tell you about her."

"You loved her. It's in your eyes. That says everything."

He sits on the bench next to her. "I think…I…love…you. The same."

She rests her head against his shoulder and pats his knee. "I know."

Ronon lifts her chin so that he can look her in the eyes. "You know what?"

She quirks a half smile and touches his cheek with her cold hands. "I know a brother when I see one." Then she rests her head against his shoulder again. "I love you too."

He rests his chin on top of her head, feeling happier than he has in years. He'll never forget Nally and Angela will never forget Charlie, but they can be there for each other. Be each other's family now. After a long silence, he decides to break it. Ronon taps her thigh. "So…no sex."

"Ohgod no!" She jumps up and away, flashing a disturbing look at him. "That'd be…gross," she says at the same time he says: "Wrong."

They laugh and Ronon gets up to give her a big hug. "But with other people," he starts.

She pulls back and slaps lightly against his chest. "Oh, there better be other people." She gets a gleam in her eyes that makes Ronon roll his. "In fact, there's this one guy I want you to set me up with…" Ronon turns and heads out of the jumper. "Ronon!"

"I can't hear you."

"Get back here you…Tarzan!" she growls.

"What was that, Cheetah?" he tosses over his shoulder.

A moment later she does something he never saw coming, but in hindsight, should have. Even barefoot in snow, this woman cannot be contained. He barely has the words out before she jumps on his back, wrapping her long legs around his waist, one arm around his neck and one hand fiercely gripping his earlobe. "I," hard tug. "Am not," hard tug. "A monkey!" Extremely hard tug.

Ronon growls as he flips her off his back and into a pile of snow. They flail at each other, punch and kick, flip each other over, grunting and growling the entire time until Sheppard is able to pull _her_ off, from behind.

Big mistake.

Later, in her room, they're watching the last episode of the first season of _MacGyver_ when Ronon nudges her bruised shoulder. "I really don't think a set up is a good idea right now."

She smacks her lips and clicks her tongue. "It's not like I killed the man," she says with a bit of a whine.

"No," Ronon chuckles deep in his chest. "You just maimed him a little."

"It was just a little kick…I didn't mean for it to…connect…so hard."

"You kicked him in the crotch...not nice. Then you gave him a black eye... less painful, but still not nice."

She shrugs. "Reflex. What can you do?" After a moment, she says. "What can _I_ do? You know, to make it up to him?"

Ronon shakes his head. "I don't know, Sheppard looked pretty mad. You'll have to be creative."

"Creative's my middle name." Ronon laughs and she tilts her head back to look up at him, her eyes gleaming mischievously. "I wonder where Dr. McKay put that Ancient device," she smiles wickedly.

Ronon bangs his head against the wall, shaking it back and forth. "Oh, nononononono."

And she laughs, a hearty rumble coming from deep inside.

And she smiles, her eyes glistening with mischief and joy.

END

* * *

a/n: thank you for reading the second installment of my "Soul-Bond" series. I hope you enjoyed it and continue on to _Duality_ :)


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